nino2005 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 My boyfriend and I have been together 3/4 years. He was my best friend as we became close when I went through a very emotional time in my life. He was there for me and it made me realise how caring he was. I couldn't imagine anyone else being so caring in the situation we were in. As he was my friend, I never looked at him as anything more, I always saw him as my friend. He saw me as something more. He pursued it and I saw that we could be good together and we have been. But I have always known that he wanted me, and wonder sometimes if I am with him because that's what he wanted. He said I gave him signs that I liked him too, but I honestly don't think I meant to. We had a big discussion about this last night, I felt terrible and still do. We have lived together for a year but are currently studying in different areas of the country. We are about to finish and want to get a place together. The thing is, I know it sounds so selfish, but while we have been students, he has had no money. I know I am lucky as my dad has helped me out, his dad would have helped him too but his family have no idea that he is basically relying on his overdraft as he is too proud to ask for anything. I have paid for everything, he has never asked me to, but I think we would have had a very boring time if we never did anything for the whole 3/4 years. I know things are about to change as he will get a job, I have been waiting for this moment for so long, and now it is arriving, I feel as if maybe I have waited too long. He has an amazing personality, makes me laugh all the time and we get on so well. He is attractive, but it does take a lot for me to see this, if he is having one of his non shaving weeks and wearing scruffy clothes, then I find it unattractive. He says this will all change when he is in a job and has a routine. I am just bored of the situation we are in. I may sound pathetic, but it would be nice to be treated to things. He says he hates it that he can't do this, and I try not to tell him that it bothers me, but sometimes it does slip out. We are so close to the next chapter in our lives, but I can't imagine it because it will be so different to the way things are now. I can't imagine being without him, and to risk leaving him and never being happy seems too big a risk to take. Should we have stayed as friends? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 If you are bored, then you are bored. Friends or in a relationship, it doesn't matter as you would still be bored of the situation. It sounds as if you need to figure where you want to go. You are all over the spectrum as far as direction from your post. Though, just because he's not able to buy you material things doesn't mean you should get out. Would you rather have him buy you things but ignore you when you need him to be there for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Ping Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Do u see despairate housewives? something like Susan and Mike... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 So, early 20's.... It's normal to be bored. You're finding yourself and your path in life. Newsflash. Boyfriend will never be daddy. No man will. You'll need to let go of that. Yes, I know you didn't say it. I'm old enough to be your daddy so I will Lastly, men (and women) live their lives by their own rules and from their own perspectives. This young man is following his path. Part of being a loving partner is accepting that person's path and determining if it is compatible with your own. Sounds like you're doing that right now. Choose wisely. Link to post Share on other sites
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