Am I really that naive?

[Sadly Single]

This is lengthy, settle in

 

Both I and the guy in question went to High School together, are 44 & divorced. I have a child (12) he has none. I live & work in a Midwest town; he is a professional athlete and travels 7 months of the year to different cities.

 

Recently I came across him on Facebook, I sent him an email and we chatted a few times. He told me he was going to be coming into town and maybe we could get together for drinks. I agreed, gave him my phone number to call when he came into town. About a week later I was out with some friends and my phone rang, it was him. It was very loud so we spoke briefly.

 

A couple weeks later I received a voicemail from him telling me he was going to be in St. Louis the next week and then he’d be in our hometown and that he would call me when he was home

 

I got a text from him that said he would be in town later that night and wanted to know if we could get together. I text him back and told him to let me know when he was actually here. When he did it was too late for me to meet him and we arranged to meet the two nights later. He told me to call or text him and we would figure out the details

 

The next day I text him to make arrangements. We determined a time but no place to meet. Later that night around 9:45 he text me and it said “Applebee’s in our hometown”. I thought he was requesting to meet the next night at Applebee’s. I told him that would be fine. A few minutes later he text me again and said “You better get your Ass up here”. I said OMG, you are there now?? I told him my child was in bed asleep and I couldn’t leave. He called and we talked for about 20 minutes, he was trying to convince me to meet him. Finally I told him to come by my place we could have a drink then. He showed up and we had several drinks and some nice conversation. At some point in the night I had become quite loaded. We ended up having sex for quite awhile. When I woke the next morning I had a vague recollection of the previous night’s events. As I got ready for work, he slept and I left him a note to lock up on his way out

 

Later that afternoon, he text me to see how I was doing considering I had gotten two hours of sleep. He ended up calling me to see if we were still on for later that night. As it was I was exhausted and backed out. A couple days went by and we ended up making plans for another night.

 

Well, I’m not generally one for the friends with benefits thing and I ended up texting him to tell him that really wasn’t my style and I’m sorry that it had happened. He then said because of his lifestyle he wasn’t able to have a relationship. I totally understood and we parted as friends

 

A few days later I was out with friends watching some NHL playoffs. I had just enough liquid courage and text him to ask what time his booty calls started. He replied 24/7

 

I ended up meeting him and his brother for drinks. While we were out I had commented that I was leaving at 11:00pm. He jokingly asked if I was leaving him for another guy for a booty call. I said no. So he kept telling me I was out with him and I wasn’t leaving him for another guy. (I didn’t – I blew off my friend in need) Once again we ended up at my house,,, yes sex again. (So much for my not wanting to be “friends with benefits”). This time however I was sober enough to remember the sex. The thing is it wasn’t actually that great. Throughout the night he kept making comments about if he could have a relationship he could see being with me, that he really liked me that I was a cool chick. He liked my lifestyle etc. Now he already had me in bed so why the line of bull

 

The next evening I met my friend that I blew off the night before. While I was out the guy text me and said he was on his way to my house for a drink. I told him it would be a long wait because I was out. He asked with whom and I told him the friend I blew off the night before. He told me to ditch him again. I told him no, that he was going through a divorce that he didn’t want and he wanted some advice. My friend went off about how he had told me that he was into me and now I was rubbing some other guy in his face and that he wasn’t into games. I asked how was I playing games and he said by rubbing that guy in his face. After a few rounds of this I told him I was going home because it wasn’t worth it. He asked if “He” wasn’t worth it. I replied “no you would be worth it if there was something between us. I meant it wasn’t worth him getting mad about.” He replied that I had just made him smile. Things were apparently cool again with us. He aked if he could come over for a drjnk and a repeat performance. I told him my Aunt Flow was visiting and there would be no repeat performances that night. He asked if he could come and cuddle with me and I said if you want to. He ended up coming over and things seemed ok. There was plenty of making out but no sex. Again with the “if” I could have a girlfriend and all that crap. The next morning he must have heard me getting ready for work, he came in gave me a kiss, said he had lots to do and told me he’d call. Well that was 6 days ago with no word from him

 

I’m not sure if or what I did that was wrong. I told him I understood the no relationship deal and still had sex. I guess that was the problem

 

I just can’t believe he never felt anything for me. Was it really just a case of wanting sex? If that’s the case why did he get so jealous when I was out with my other friend

 

I have one friend who thinks he had feelings for me and knows it couldn’t work, so just had the sex and ran

 

Another friend said that if he was really interested he would still be around and that it is what it is… sex and to move on

 

The problem is I think both of them were right. I think he did have some kind of feelings and wanted the sex too. Maybe he had just enough feelings he didn’t want the hassle of sex and trying not to develop feelings so maybe he just took a walk. Or am I really that naive and it really was just sex????? I’d love to hear some comments. Especially from the male variety. You live it, you know it. Anything would be helpful.

 

I’m not in love with the guy, but he is totally under my skin and I need to get him out of my head. It might be easier if I knew he had some sort of feelings. But I want truthful comments, not brutal but truthful. Thanks!

[TaraMaiden]

Brutal?

Don't mix sex with emotion.

Don't hang around waiting for people to respond, because in such a situation, even though emotion is involved, it is probably more on your side than his.

Stop being physically accommodating, have some self-respect and just get your mind in order.

 

I think.

 

_/l\_