dyermaker Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Originally posted by Fritz At least DeBeers is running scared now with a few companies coming out with 100% natural diamonds yet they are man/machine made. DeBeers is running scared from no one. If pure economic cartelism fails, good old fashioned 'mysterious' murder won't--they've done it before, and they'll do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
HiDDeN PiGLeT Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 maybe i misread the thread, but i thought he took a loan to get you the first ring, should you appreciate that. how much more in debt or rather how much debt do you want him to get into? its the thought thats important. i still have a 25 cents ring someone gave me and that was out of love. the smaller things in life is the most important and worth treasuring cuz usually that's the things that come from your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker DeBeers is running scared from no one. If pure economic cartelism fails, good old fashioned 'mysterious' murder won't--they've done it before, and they'll do it again. ] Sadly, you may be right. I'd like to be a bit more optimistic about the whole thing though. They are working hard on making machines and distro'ing them to jewelers to detect the new man-made stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Amberlyn Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 Originally posted by Fritz A question tho, as a guy who isn't up on rings etc. . Which do you wear all the time? I thought it was the wedding ring that was worn all the time and not the engagement ring? It's entirely up to the woman/couple, but most women I know wear both. I just got engaged, and I fully intend to wear both. Link to post Share on other sites
bkshortie22 Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 My fiance bought me a 3/4 carat moissanite ring and I LOVE it. It was at my insistance that he bought it. 2300$ for a "real" diamond or 230$ for a lab created one? We shopped around, considered all, but in the end the light dispersion and fire that the moisannite has is far greater than most natural diamonds. And the jeweller appraised it at 3200$ when we had it resized elsewhere! How much a person spends on a ring or if it's real or not has nothing to do with how much they love you. He DOES want to marry you, after all. You said yourself that was the setting you wanted. And I'd be willing to wager that before you found out the center stone was lab created you didn't even notice the difference. I think its all in your pretty little materialistic self absorbed head. You should be greatful that you have a man that bought you the best quality ring he could afford. There's two 'real' diamonds on the side. And I can't believe you COMPLAINED about it. God forbid he registers for stainless steel cutlery rather than silver. In short, there's more important things to worry about than whether or not that rock on your hand is real. I'm tired of this whole "but a diamond is forever" crap...styrofoam lasts a damn long time too. Link to post Share on other sites
notmaterialistic Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 No, I never did receive the ring I wanted. I knew that there were going to be a lot of people who think that I'm being materialistic. However, the fact of the matter is that I just don't like my ring, and mostly I just don't wear it. I love my fiance very much and don't want to hurt his feelings. If there weren't any diamonds in the ring at all and it was a plain band that I had liked, I would love it. The ring is just not my style at all. No, I didn't want him to take out a loan, however, if he just couldn't afford something that he would have liked to give me, then he just should have waited. I'm sad that I don't wear it everyday like every other "newly engaged" woman does, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him as much. We're planning on picking out our bands soon, and I love a very simple white gold band, NO DIAMONDS, NO other gem, just PLAIN. I plan on wearing it every day, without my engagement ring, because it suits my style. Everyone has their own opinion on this topic. I, however, just don't like the product that was given. I'm sure there are many of people who have "bashed" me that have recieved a gift that they did not like, keep, or use. Jewelery is a kind of gift that both men and women are particular about ... you have a certain style that you like and others that you just don't care for. If the center stone was something that I had cared for ... a tanzanite or my birthstone, this topic would never had been posted. I'm not materialistic and don't shop for expensive items. I'm practical and would rather save money than go crazy on buying something extreme. But, when there's something that I do care for that costs a lot of money, I work hard and get it myself. I've never asked for anything in my life from anybody. I had bought my fiance a very expensive gift for him that he had wanted for his birthday. Only I had bought the wrong brand. He exchanged it for a less expensive model ... I wasn't hurt by this, and am glad that he was able to get something that was compatible with what he had wanted. Bottom line is that I still love him, and we are getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
kizmet74 Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 In your original post you said, "He got me the exact setting that I wanted" BUT "it's a fake diamond." . Umm... now you're saying "The ring is just not my style at all." Yeah, whatever. I wish you the best of luck. Most of all, I wish your fiance` the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
notmaterialistic Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I like the setting, it's the stone that I don't care for. I'd be perfectly happy if the ring didn't have the center stone. I'd just like to wear it as often as I should. Also, as an FYI... his sister is the one who coaxed him into buying the center stone because she is a jealous b----! Nobody can ever have anything nicer than hers or she creates huge drama. Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I can see already that this is a match made in heaven. It's really great that you get along so well with his family and are so direct and honest with him. You may want to rethink marrying this one. I wish him all the luck in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 You're mean He probably put a lot of thought into the ring, and planned to see the big smile on your face, and then you come right out and say, "Uh, I don't like this" I'd have cried too! If my husband bought me something nasty looking, I'd love it no matter what I thought the origional post was that you liked the setting, but not the fake stone Now, it's just that you don't like the ring period? You sound greedy to me. Do you disagree? P.S. How much did he spend on the ring? Can you pawn it to get the one you want? Link to post Share on other sites
Redwinged Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I never had a ring and still don't. If you really loved this guy, I think that you should accept what he gave you and love it because it came from him!! Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 You might try exchanging the ring for one you like. I bought a rock for my fiancee and when I bought it the jeweler said that if my fiancee wanted to we could exchange it for one she liked better. Well she didn't like the size of it and so we went back and got a smaller one for her that she is happy with. In choosing the big rock I was being a little selfish because I wanted people to see the big rock and know how much I loved her. She thought of the ring as a symbol of our love and not something that had to be shown off. She was right but I still liked the look of the big rock! It's been my experience that life rarely immitates my fantasies and maybe no matter where he proposed to you it wouldn't have matched your expectations. Bottom line he did propose to you, he does love you and he sacrificed for you. The finest ring can be bought. The best proposal can be staged but only lasts a moment of your time together. In the end it is only love that counts and only true love that stands the test of time. Love him, accept him, respect him and quite possibly exchange or change the ring. Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 My bf just bought me my e-ring (so I heard through the grapevine) and it's platinum, 18K gold, and there's a one karat stone in the center. The stone is a cz. He doesn't have much money. I did give a rat's ass to be honest. It all looks the same. Moissanite is NOT fake. It's a real stone, nearly as expensive as diamonds and they are rare too where diamonds are abundant. Moissanite is considered an expensive rare stone which evolved from the sky. Very romantic. Don't feel hurt. He didn't have money. That's all. You sort of okay'd it from what it sounds like. When men can't afford it, they usually discuss it before purchasing. He probably feels stupid now. Don't drag him down too much. However, since this really bothers you, he SHOULD know. Accept the ring for what it is. My ring is beautiful, my bf's mother told me it was "magnificant". It's a nice ring. Getting back to you though, why don't you both go shopping for a loose stone? Or get another ring. You can get close to a karat for under $600 and he can pay in installments or charge it. Look for rings on clearance. Sometimes that works. There are options for real diamonds out there. Keep your ring for memory sake, afterall, he first gave you that as a symbol of his level of love and committment to you. As far as proposing at someone's wedding, I don't want to be nosy here, but I think that's kind of rude. Most bride's would be pissed at that. I'm going to a wedding this Friday and if my bf gave me the ring at the wedding, I would feel bad for the bride and groom. Their day should be their day. When people get engaged, it's a big deal. The attention drastically goes off the bride and the groom and goes to the new engaged couple. No man should ever do that! Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by notmaterialistic I like the setting, it's the stone that I don't care for. I'd be perfectly happy if the ring didn't have the center stone. I'd just like to wear it as often as I should. Also, as an FYI... his sister is the one who coaxed him into buying the center stone because she is a jealous b----! Nobody can ever have anything nicer than hers or she creates huge drama. Maybe the stone was cut poorly. The cut makes a big difference. In diamond, moissanite, or cz's. Link to post Share on other sites
wildturkey Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 It does not matter where, what ring, how.... Men will put a lot of thought if there is love. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=262928#post262928 sometimes asking a question, observing an action says a lot about the person. It is hard to understand because we love them and because of that we internally protect them eventhough we are hurt. If you love your fiance, accept him as he is. You have someone. Many here have a loss and there is a lot of pain in their hearts. Do not create anymore and forget about the diamond, the loan and the situation when he proposed. Those are unimportant - what is more important is the love and the fact that he is telling you "I love you - will you marry me?" Link to post Share on other sites
Boogie Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 My then-girlfriend and I went looking for rings, and while she knew I had a very miniscule budget, I had some extra money socked away and wound up spending almost $7,000 for her ring...So when I surprised her and proposed, she said yes before she even saw the ring, and I know she didn't expect it to be nearly as nice as it is. The fact that I got it for her and how I presented it to her was what was and is important, and that's the way it should be. I can understand a woman being disappointed with a ring, but rejecting the man who offers it to her because of how little he could spend says plenty about their future (or lack thereof) together. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Well, I think it's ok that you don't like your ring. However, don't you want to wear it for your fiance's sake? Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 but ask him to buy you one of your choice for the next birthday (of yours) or holiday to come up. You can get a smaller diamond for $600 or so (maybe 3/4 or 5/8 of a carat) if he's on a tight budget. Grin and bear it until then. Besides, now this is your opportunity to look around and get what you want. It will be fun. Engagement ring shopping only happens once in your lifetime (ususally!) so enjoy it while you can. Good luck and have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 She's not being materialistic, she just not that crazy about the ring altogether. Whether it's real or fake, you could find something you like for a great price. You just have to look hard. As long as she's nice about everything, and says delicatley she would like something else, that's fine. Moissanite is almost as expensive as a diamond anyway. One karat of moissanite is about $800-$900 easy. A diamond of that weight is about $800-1700 depending on the quality of course. It's best for all men to shop with their gf's before they give her the ring, or propose first and then go shopping with her. Put it through a man's point of view: Would you like to spend the rest of your life wearing a Yankees T-shirt everyday of your life when your a passionate Mets fan? Do you get my drift? The ring not also compliments each woman's uniqueness as well as their love. Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
unbiased Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Diamonds rings (and other adornments) have been throughout history a proxy for "ownership" of the woman. And a woman cannot be owned unless she is sold or prostitutes herself. Ask yourself what you are... and be honest... Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Are you saying that any one who is engaged is a prostitute? Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 She isn't saying she can "be bought"! She doesn't isn't to pleased with the appearance of the ring. That's all. Her bf can exchange it, pawn it, or just buy her a new one for a good price. Think you're going to extremes. Link to post Share on other sites
unbiased Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 Yellow Lioness and Katie79, I am not saying anything about engagement specifically. I am saying that romantic commitment a.k.a. love should not NOT be conditional upon the delivery of an expensive gift - be it a diamond or otherwise. In almost all cases in the USA this transaction is considered MANDATORY with explicit expectations on the $$$ VALUE of the gift (as illustrated in the original post, or any DeBeers commercial). If one has any experience in business/law this can easily be seen for the verbal contract that it is: Engagement: "I will buy you an expensive gift of $XXXX.XX and you will give your marriage commitment to me" Prostitution: "I will give you $XXX.XX in cash and you will have sex with me" See the parallels? It's all about the service and the dollar. One could do an MBA school case study on it. If you put aside your personal interests (I assume you are women by your handles) for a moment you might see my point. But feel free to brush it aside soon afterwards and bury that realization deep in your psyche... Cheers! PS - I did not orignally want to reveal that I am a woman... Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 My engagement ring is silver. Not white gold. Not platinum. Instead of a stone it has Three trinity knots on the top. On the side it has four swirling together to form one. The trinity knot has by my "symbol" for my children and myself since we left my ex. My honey chose this ring because it symbolized four becoming one. The four of us becoming a family. I couldn't be more pleased. Also, he is wearing on his finger a silver knot-work band. We figured that we should both wear a ring to symbolize our relationship. At the wedding the kids will be getting rings as well. Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 That sounds so cool, Rowan. Do you happen to have a pic of the ring? Link to post Share on other sites
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