Can cheating back make you feel better?

[Dexter Morgan]

The cheating thing is MY problem.

 

Its also a problem for those you cheat on:confused:

 

 

i probably need to go and find help for it, but the last thing you need when you come out with something like this is everyone telling you how disgusting you are, because it turns you into people like me who are told over and over again that they're a cheat and they'll never change and should do everyone a favour and never marry.

 

 

by George i think she's got it!!

 

 

 

Oh sweet...so I should never marry

 

No, you shouldn't

 

 

so I'll just drift from relationship to relationship, and as my generation become more and more married/partnered up I'd still be single, but still get urges

 

why would you get married if you can't stay faithful? Why would you even commit if you can't stop cheating?

 

 

 

like all human beings

 

wrong...not all people have the urge to cheat.

 

 

and then i run the risk of breaking up other people's relationships.

 

 

you run the risk of that anyway, so better I guess that if its going to happen no matter what, at least some poor sap won't have to go through the pain of divorce.

 

 

Nice.... Let me sort out my own infidelity issues, cheeers.

 

doesn't sound like you will. you blame everyone else and criticism on wanting to "cheat more".

 

I really don't think you need an excuse:o

[amaysngrace]

amaysngrace,

Everyone agrees her bf sucks and she should dump him but you are acting like she did something honorable. No where in her post did she say he puts her down. You just came up with that. All she said was that she knows he kissed another girl. Encouraging her to cheat and lie is not healthy, its self-destructing. You first tried to write it off as being young, then him being a jerk, and now you can't even justify it. The girl just let some guy bang her out of revenge. You do see how she is completely lowering her self value and you think this is a good thing? If she doesn't value herself now where will she be in 10 years? Please don't use the overrated cop out of being young. Being young is not a green light to act like this.

 

If she wants to be a 40 year old single lady with 40 previous sexual partners and no real relationships then you can say good for her. But if she wants to form good long lasting relationships and learn how do cope properly and in a healthy manner then what she did should not be encouraged.

 

Dude I can justify what she did. I see her say he lied to her. I see her say he cheated on her and he told her it's because she didn't tell him she loved him soon enough. I see her saying repeatedly that he made her sad.

 

And no I don't see her lowering her self value. The cousin didn't only bang her...she banged the cousin. She used him. He used her. It's even.

 

But I do think that she has warped esteem and this is how she coped. She felt sad and had to make those bad feelings go away. So she did something bad but it makes her feel better.

 

Will she tolerate cheating in the future or will she walk away? Who knows. Will she learn from all of this however it plays out? I hope.

 

But if he was making her feel sad and she found a way to make herself feel better then I say good for her. It's better than her feeling bad about herself.

 

Please stop telling me what I see or what I can or cannot do. Please don't presume to read my mind. It's not only overstepping your boundaries but it's really quite rude.

 

It's also rather rude to tell people how to act. I'm sure they'd much prefer it if you teach them. But somehow I doubt that you could.

[Lucky_One]

To the OP regarding the original question - does cheating back make you feel better?

 

If it did, then I doubt you would have come here, registered, and asked this question under two separate threads. You simply would have screwed him, felt better, and gone blithely along with your life, without a care in the world.

 

But you know inside that what you did was wrong - thus, you asked the question.

[lkjh]

Dude I can justify what she did. I see her say he lied to her. I see her say he cheated on her and he told her it's because she didn't tell him she loved him soon enough. I see her saying repeatedly that he made her sad.

 

And no I don't see her lowering her self value. The cousin didn't only bang her...she banged the cousin. She used him. He used her. It's even.

 

But I do think that she has warped esteem and this is how she coped. She felt sad and had to make those bad feelings go away. So she did something bad but it makes her feel better.

 

Will she tolerate cheating in the future or will she walk away? Who knows. Will she learn from all of this however it plays out? I hope.

 

 

 

But if he was making her feel sad and she found a way to make herself feel better then I say good for her. It's better than her feeling bad about herself.

 

Please stop telling me what I see or what I can or cannot do. Please don't presume to read my mind. It's not only overstepping your boundaries but it's really quite rude.

 

It's also rather rude to tell people how to act. I'm sure they'd much prefer it if you teach them. But somehow I doubt that you could.

 

OMG, so if killing someone makes me feel good you should do it? Yes she did lower her self value, tell her future bf's this is how she reacts when she is "sad" and see if anyone wants anything to do with her. You make it seem like her only option was to cheat. Advice like yours is why infidelity is rising at alarming rates. People no longer think before they act. Thinking is what separates us from animals. But hey its all about how we feel at the moment right. Have you ever heard of the saying never act while you are angry? There is a reason why people say this.

 

By the way you are acusing me of being rude because of my response to your post, but if you go back you were the one that started this. You were the one that singled out my post and told me what to think. If you don't want people judging your post don't judge theirs. You told me my post was harsh and it was non of my business. It's funny how people acuse others of the same thing they do

[amaysngrace]

By the way you are acusing me of being rude because of my response to your post, but if you go back you were the one that started this. You were the one that singled out my post and told me what to think. If you don't want people judging your post don't judge theirs. You told me my post was harsh and it was non of my business. It's funny how people acuse others of the same thing they do

 

Wrong again. That post was not directed at anyone in particular. In fact someone else took it as it was directed at them.

 

You are shooting blanks with me and what you have to say when you speak to me really falls on deaf ears. So you can stop now and save yourself the trouble.

[lkjh]

ya ok that post wasn't directed towards me. Way to stand by what you say. I am not shocked at all that this falls on deaf ears. You actually think her cheating was a good thing

[Lisagirly]

ya, but now she has become something no decent guy would want any part of if they found out.

So according to you once you cheat you should never have a long term relationship or marriage in the future? You are basically saying I don't deserve any future relationship ever again and that I should die as a single old woman? Talk about discriminative. There are other worst things in the world besides revenge cheating.

If I hooked up with a woman that I found out cheated...much less cheated on an X with a family member....I'd be saying "adios"

I careless what you would do or not do. No where did I ask a general question post saying what would do you if you found out they cheated on a past partner.

[Lisagirly]

OMG, so if killing someone makes me feel good you should do it?

What on earth does this have to do with my post? Besides you can't compare a serious crime with cheating on relationships. Where on one you can get executed or sentenced to live in prison as punishment, in the rather one other than a break up, there is no criminal record on you.

[Lisagirly]

Plus she only knows he kissed a girl.

No, the kissing picture was part of the evidence I found along with intimate email exchanges (he happened to accidentally left one of his email opened and it was just there for me to read it) revealing the full extend of the affair. They had a full blown affair 3 times.

[lkjh]

The criminal comparison was in response to the post that doing what makes you feel good is all that matters. The point was that if you want to be in a relationship and you choose not to dump your bf then you need to learn that you do what is best for both of you

[Woggle]

So according to you once you cheat you should never have a long term relationship or marriage in the future? You are basically saying I don't deserve any future relationship ever again and that I should die as a single old woman? Talk about discriminative. There are other worst things in the world besides revenge cheating.

I careless what you would do or not do. No where did I ask a general question post saying what would do you if you found out they cheated on a past partner.

 

If you have no idea what marriage and commitment mean you should not marry. Marriage is not for everybody and if you can't stay faithful don't do it. Nothing wrong with not marrying but don't trick some guy into thinking you love him while you screw around on him behind his back and betray his trust.

[Dexter Morgan]

So according to you once you cheat you should never have a long term relationship or marriage in the future?

 

No, I'm saying any DECENT man wouldn't be happy with that part of your character.

 

 

You are basically saying I don't deserve any future relationship ever again and that I should die as a single old woman?

 

No, you can find someone, but if you ever tell them what you did, much less with a family member of the bf you cheated on, don't be surprised if that man isn't too thrilled.

 

 

Talk about discriminative. There are other worst things in the world besides revenge cheating.

 

sure there is. Just like there are worse things in the world than being punched in the face, but nobody desires to be punched in the face.

 

 

I careless what you would do or not do. No where did I ask a general question post saying what would do you if you found out they cheated on a past partner.

 

well gee, I wasn't responding to you now was I?

[Dexter Morgan]

Dude I can justify what she did.

 

there is no justification for being a cheater and lowering oneself to a cheater's level.

 

if that were the case, I'd have cheated on my xW many times over.

 

She would have been perfectly justified in dumping his worthless ass.

[lkjh]

there is no justification for being a cheater and lowering oneself to a cheater's level.

 

if that were the case, I'd have cheated on my xW many times over.

 

She would have been perfectly justified in dumping his worthless ass.

 

 

exactly the point

[Dexter Morgan]

exactly the point

 

that and AG can't JUSTIFY what OP did...she can only make excuses for her.

[amaysngrace]

there is no justification for being a cheater and lowering oneself to a cheater's level.

 

if that were the case, I'd have cheated on my xW many times over.

 

She would have been perfectly justified in dumping his worthless ass.

 

Again we see things differently. And that's okay.

 

On a personal level I don't generally tolerate cheating. This is not how I would have handled being cheated on at all.

 

I would have told her to not cheat too but she came here after the cheating was already over and she was asking about her feelings.

 

She was asking how she is going to feel knowing she did this to her boyfriend. Nobody knows that. Nobody is her.

 

I was trying to help her understand it's okay to feel however she feels about it. That's all.

 

As she gets older and is more in touch with her feelings she will hopefully use this experience to think instead of just feel. But I recognize she isn't there just yet.

 

And that's okay. She'll get there. We all do.

[amaysngrace]

that and AG can't JUSTIFY what OP did...she can only make excuses for her.

 

Nope. That is not what I'm doing at all.

 

You seem to have gotten stuck at the cheating part. I looked past it.

 

But then again I've never been cheated on so it's really not an issue for me.

[Dexter Morgan]

She was asking how she is going to feel knowing she did this to her boyfriend. Nobody knows that. Nobody is her.

 

Its a ridiculous question posed by her seeing as how in another thread that she started, she said she was "satisfied" and felt much better after revenge cheating.

 

She already knew the answer, so why ask the question?

[Dexter Morgan]

Nope. That is not what I'm doing at all.

 

I am saying that all you CAN do is make excuses for her. Thats all anyone can do because there is NO justification for cheating.

 

 

You seem to have gotten stuck at the cheating part. I looked past it.

 

But then again I've never been cheated on so it's really not an issue for me.

 

bingo!

[amaysngrace]

bingo!

 

Right. Bingo! The whole sentence though. If you aren't emotionally charged by a particular thing you can see it more objectively.

 

But back to her original post, LisaGirly wasn't looking to be justified in her actions. She was questioning her feelings.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right. Bingo! The whole sentence though. If you aren't emotionally charged by a particular thing you can see it more objectively.

 

no, if you haven't been there and done that, then you can't see it for what it really is.

 

 

But back to her original post, LisaGirly wasn't looking to be justified in her actions. She was questioning her feelings.

 

She already knew what her feelings were. She said so.

[lkjh]

Again we see things differently. And that's okay.

 

On a personal level I don't generally tolerate cheating. This is not how I would have handled being cheated on at all.

 

I would have told her to not cheat too but she came here after the cheating was already over and she was asking about her feelings.

 

She was asking how she is going to feel knowing she did this to her boyfriend. Nobody knows that. Nobody is her.

 

I was trying to help her understand it's okay to feel however she feels about it. That's all.

 

As she gets older and is more in touch with her feelings she will hopefully use this experience to think instead of just feel. But I recognize she isn't there just yet.

 

And that's okay. She'll get there. We all do.

 

 

You told her good for you. Saying good for you is telling her that not only were her actions acceptable but they were the right thing to do. Saying things like this don't encourage her to think before she acts, it tells her to just act. You even singled out my post that told her what she is doing is wrong. You shot down the advice that basically told her to think before she acts and to hold her self in high regard. You are encouraging her to cheat and continue lying to her bf and herself.

[amaysngrace]

no, if you haven't been there and done that, then you can't see it for what it really is.

 

She already knew what her feelings were. She said so.

 

Tell that to a judge who hears both sides and makes a fair judgment without having been there and done that.

 

You are funny.

 

Like I said before you stopped at the cheating. I've read this thread and I've already seen her feelings change towards it. Last I read she felt guilty. And it's not because someone told her to. She just did.

[Dexter Morgan]

Tell that to a judge who hears both sides and makes a fair judgment without having been there and done that.

 

You are funny.

 

Like I said before you stopped at the cheating. I've read this thread and I've already seen her feelings change towards it. Last I read she felt guilty. And it's not because someone told her to. She just did.

 

Ya, bragging that she took his cousin's virginity, saying she is now "satisfied" since she got to have sex with someone else....ya, she feels guilty alright.

[amaysngrace]

Ya, bragging that she took his cousin's virginity, saying she is now "satisfied" since she got to have sex with someone else....ya, she feels guilty alright.

 

That was like what? two days ago? or whenever she first posted? Yesterday she was saying she feels guilty. Which is more than how her BF felt when he initially cheated.

 

Anywho I am done with this Dex. It's been nice getting to know you.