hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I'm feeling especially vulnerable right now. Flashbacks are really tough. 99.5 (thankfully not all) percent of the primary family/friends/romantic people in my life have all broken my trust in a way that makes me feel currently quite violated. Oh, I do feel I should have some of the responsibility "should of known better", wrt some of those people who violated me. I just handed myself over on a silver platter to some, and it makes me feel sick. That's what I mean, that's where I should of known better. But, if you're not taught something as a child how do you practice it as a principle when you're an adult? I'm not a dense brick, sure I can call the logical/common sense/right choice when I hear a situation. Again, that is not the same as practicing the principle, and when you haven't witnessed this and been a part of these building blocks, how do you and where do you learn to practice them as principles? Don't mind me, don't have anyone to talk to right now and I'm having a difficult time at the moment. Just sending my thoughts out in space. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Hi h2h. I'm sorry you're having a rough day. It's really hard to know right from wrong while growing up when your whole perception of right from wrong is shattered at such a young age and you are left by yourself to try and decipher it. I think most of us get it wrong. The good news is we can make it right again. (((thinking of you))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 YAY. I'm so glad to see you . Yeah, I know what you mean and that's what I'm trying to do now is start getting things right. Some days I feel soo good about it, other days I feel like "where do I begin" . You know..the kind of reaction when you walk into a packrats house and they want you to organize it? LOL Yeah just like that. I don't know I feel really low and down in the dumps right now, and it doesn't help that I'm coming down with something. I'm glad you wrote though, I know that you understand me and it helps me not to feel so alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 AWWWWWWWW. Bf just called and turned my frown upside down, just to hear his voice. :love: . That just made me so happy. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Hey. Thanks for that. I don't usually get such a warm reception. Yes I know the rollercoaster you are on...that is for sure. Are you getting enough sleep? It's very important you know. I know you will get it right. Know why? Because you really want to get it right. And you're a tough little cookie. I'm sorry you're coming down with something...as if what you have going on isn't enough, huh? Oh btw keep posting even if it's on the off-topic thread. I want to PM you but can't until you make more posts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Oh, how many before pm is possible? I'm not sleeping well no. I imagine it is important but I'm really overwhelmed and it's hard to sleep proper. On the positive side I've been starting to have some "normal" dreams lately. Even happy ones of being with my love . Thank god for him. He really makes thing easier. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Oh, how many before pm is possible? I'm not sleeping well no. I imagine it is important but I'm really overwhelmed and it's hard to sleep proper. On the positive side I've been starting to have some "normal" dreams lately. Even happy ones of being with my love . Thank god for him. He really makes thing easier. You know I don't know how many. But you seem to have privileges so you either earned them on your own or the mods bumped you up. I know what you mean about the BF thing. I just thanked mine the other day because I'm not so sure I'd have been safe enough in my own head to make my memories come back without him in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hoping2heal Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Oh that was nice of them . Well goody goody gum drops, let's PM away Link to post Share on other sites
SilentWolf Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 It is very hard to trust when you have been voilated. I've had my heart broken and trust violated by every major player in my life (mom, dad, best friends, boy friends, even my husband). Some of the people I am working on forgiving and others I will never be able to "get over". I pretty much feel like its me against the world at this point, don't get me wrong I still try to have an open heart and open mind. I have this theory that as long as I remember the past, but do not dwell on it that the future can be different. So far it has helped me to realease a lot of anger and be a much happier person. Link to post Share on other sites
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