jdan13 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 my fiance cheated. i know that i love her or at least did. we don't have a child or any shared assets. are there any circumstances in which i should consider taking her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Only you can really answer that. Personally, I could never move past the violation of trust. I could forgive the act itself, but I could never trust that person the same way again. What is a relationship without trust? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Please think about this. She apparently was willing to cheat on you behind your back while you are engaged to be married. What do you think will happen after you are married? Being engaged is the time you would expect your wife to be the most happiest and most in love with you. If she had no problem cheating on you at this time then you would be an absolute fool to marry this woman. She has already showed you her true colors. Do you really need to have a piano fall on your head? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes. She has no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 my ex cheated while we were engaged,i back off,she came running,begging to forgive her blah-blah.like a idiot i forgave her. wasn't 8 months after we got married she cheated again. so my take is if you forgive her,you're crazy.she IS going to cheat again,it's alot easier to break up now,seeing there's no kids involved,house,etc.then the price(meaning what you'll lose)sky rockets. i'd walk or run very fast from this one. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Get out while you can, with a minimum of red tape. In a perverse way, she's done you the biggest favour of your life. You've found out who she is BEFORE you've chained yourself to her and acquired assets and children. I know this seems like a knee-jerk, cut-and-dried response, but you have to realize what you're dealing with. You're dealing with somebody whose potential response when there's something in the relationship they don't like is to have sex with somebody else. I emphasize "potential" because you don't know if she'll ever cheat again if you marry her. What you DO know is that she has it in her to cheat. It's possible that, if you marry her, she will remain faithful to you. But imagine the pangs and the suspicion you'll experience for years, every time she goes out without you, every time there's repeated calls to a strange number on her cell phone, every time you walk into the room and she quickly closes the PC window on whatever she was doing, etc. Plus, remember that, in her mind, she's a cheater. There's no degrees here -- she either is, or she isn't. And down the road, grabbing a little "piece on the side" won't seem like as much of a big deal to her. Firstly, it'll be less of a big deal the second time. Secondly, in her mind, she won't be "more of a cheater" -- she already is one. Thirdly, she did it before and you still stayed devoted to her, so why won't you do that the second time? Or the third, or fourth, or fifth? I'm a living, breathing cautionary tale. I wish I'd learned what you learned, when you learned it. XW cheated during the engagement and then several more times during the marriage. And covered it up until seven years and two kids later. Don't walk away. Run. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 The answer is, no and the best advice within the thread is quoted below. Don't walk away. Run. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Absolutely, do not take her back. leave her. You will never be able to trust her again. Link to post Share on other sites
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