Does my ex want me back or not?

[Fran]

Hi there,

 

About a month a go I put a post out regarding a co-worker boyfriend who broke up with me in March. He gave no reason other than that he wanted to be with other women, but still date me at the same time. I said of course that I didn't want to see him at all under such circumstances. Well, latley he emails me at work, usually after he bumps into me in the hall or something. His emails are friendly and curious about my life. Today he had emailed me asking to take me out for a drink. I of course said yes, which was probably stupid. Then he proceeds to tell me he is busy all week and too tired tonight to see me but wants to see me next week. Before we broke up this guy was so crazy about me and he couldnt bear not seeing me. He would see me when he was so tired he coudnt keep his eyes open. Now he is completely blase, and seems to be midly interested, but just isn't dying over me anymore. I want to see him next week, but I don't know if can bear the thought of being with my ex if he isn't dying to be with me. I am hoping if we go out, he will realize how much he can't live without me, but then I feel as if I am lowering myself to actually go out again with a guy who dumped me and now isn't really showing much interst . The sad and pathetic thing is, I still love him and want him back desperately! I don't know what to do, I mean he only emails me, and isn't showing much desire. These messages are completely mixed from him, and I can't figure out his motives or how to react! How can I get him back, do I even go out with this man again in hopes of him falling for me again? Or, do I tell him I am busy next week.help please.

[D.]

I feel badly that you have such strong feelings still for this jerk, really I do. I have been there myself.

 

If you DO go out with him, he is one lucky guy! It must be great for him to be able to play the field and have you in reserve as an easy stand by for whenever he has nothing better to do. Yep! Lucky dude, indeed.

 

He is NOT sending mixed signals at all. He is letting you know that he would like to see you at his convenience and when his other girlfriends are too busy.

 

If you can cope with that, then go for it. As for me, I have far too much self esteem to be used in such a fashion. I hope you do, too

[Tony T]

Why don't you just start the whole thing over, like you never knew him before. Just begin at square one. See where it goes from there.

 

Maybe you won't be so much into this thing if you pretend in your mind that you are just beginning to see him for the first time. Or if something does happen, it will happen in ordinary progression.

 

If you don't wear a pair of pants for a few months and then one day decide to put wear them once again, you may have gained or lost a few pounds and it could take some adjustment before it is once again a perfect fit.

 

I think the reason you want this guy back so much is because he is indifferent. If he was after you passionately, you would probably give him the SAME hard time.

 

Such is the courting ritual!!!

[magicklady]

I agree with Tony. I am going through a similar situation right now and he is my ex of 3 years. I am totally still in love with him, but I am not sure what he wants from me either. When we broke-up we agreed to date and we didn't. I hurt his feelings a couple of years ago and now he has hurt mine, but for some reason I feel like the relationship can work. I do not in the least have low self esteem and if he doesn't come back my life will go on.. but e-mail can confuse a girl.. I am sure that you will agree with me that you are never quite sure of what they want!

Why don't you just start the whole thing over, like you never knew him before. Just begin at square one. See where it goes from there. Maybe you won't be so much into this thing if you pretend in your mind that you are just beginning to see him for the first time. Or if something does happen, it will happen in ordinary progression. If you don't wear a pair of pants for a few months and then one day decide to put wear them once again, you may have gained or lost a few pounds and it could take some adjustment before it is once again a perfect fit. I think the reason you want this guy back so much is because he is indifferent. If he was after you passionately, you would probably give him the SAME hard time. Such is the courting ritual!!!