Is she a friend or somthing more?

[Dekard]

I need some advice... shocking huh...

 

I have known this girl for 3 years and we are very close friends. We hang out atleast once a week and talk on the phone every couple of days. We get along great. Shes 24, outgoing, little spoiled, but has a good head on her shoulders. We usally hang out at my place or go see movies, eat out alot. or just chat on the phone. Now she had told me things that now only I know, and when i come over after she has worked out she says "now because its you, and only you, you can see me like this... anyone else...no" and of course shes nuts even at the moment she look great! what a smile! anyway. I have never once really let the idea of dating her enter my head, i have dated 3 girls over the past 3 years but i now have finally seen that i always compare them to her, and with friends now edging me on to ask her out.. It has gotten bad. I am no overanalysing everthing she says. "Why did she say that, did she doe that for a reason? Does she like me?" and its driving my nuts! But I don't want to ask her out on a REAL date and have her freak out and then lose a very important friend.

 

So i can i tell? Just because she tells me things about her past, like for years she was hung up on a guy like really bad, but now shes moving on. she talks about her lame attemps at dating. Resently she went out on a blind lunch date a firend set her up on... for the first time i was really jealous. yet shes always talks how shes does not need to date, and why get married, then she puts her pick online, but after 80 emails from ugly weird guys (like 50+) she canceled that. I just dont know what shes thinking. i think im just a firend that will listen. I dont thing she sees me anymore than a friend that she tells almost anything to, and does not mind seeing her when shes not all dolled up.

 

But how the crap can i tell?!?!?! its eating at me! I dont want to miss a chance, but i dont want to lose her friendship. Do girls confide in guys? you can have a really close friend like that right? just because when she opens the door to greet me she has a huge smile and on and invites me in, does not mean she is interested... shes just being a friend.

 

What are your thoughts? or is there more info i should give you?

 

Any advice would be great!

 

Thanks!

[monkey00]

sounds to me like she considers you a very close friend whom she can explod her past, secrets, and problems on. Hey, isnt that what best friends are for?

 

If you want to know if she likes you, just check out if she's done any signals towards you.

play with her hair, put her hand on your arm when you guys talk, flirt with you, (show interest, compliment you) (hard to tell with this one if its being friendly or more)

[elbows]

Hey,

 

Bear in mind that this reply is coming from a female! A really good male friend of mine has just told me that he's in love with me. Much like the relationship you have with this girl, we speak on the phone almost every day and i stay at his....in his spare room! I love this guy to bits and have also been known to say that i wouldn't let anyone else but him and my best girlfriend see me looking what i would call rough!!

 

My point is that i have tried to maintain the relationship as a friendship as i am not interested in taking things any further. What this does however, is change the balance of power, instead of feeling equal i feel like i know how how feels and i have this responsibility not to hurt him. Because of this i am more cautious as to what i tell him. I am glad that he told me, if that does not sound wierd!

 

If you decide to divulge how you feel, you may be pleasently surprised but it sounds like she has placed you on the 'safe' friend catagory. At least you would not be driving yourself nuts, and even if she does not feel the same way it may be a little awkward for a while but if she really is a friend you will work through it. The ONLY way to find out is to be honest with her. As i said i'm glad he told me and we are working through it!!!

 

Good lucK!!!