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How can I let her know without being too rude?


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A friend of mine kinda blew me off this weekend. She was supposed to come over last Sunday when I had a small party because both of my daughters were in town. She knows both of them already but no showed me.

 

I got a text from her today saying she had gone camping all weekend and apologizing for blowing us off.

 

This is not the first time this has happened. She is flaky and a fair weather friend at best.

 

I can usually load other people's lips with snappy retorts and veiled sarcasm, but have difficulty doing it for myself.

 

What could I text her back to let her know I don't like being an afterthought...but without being rude. My feelings are hurt but I don't want to be too obvious about that...yet truly want her to see that what she did was wrong and disrespectful to me.

 

Any suggestions?

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It sounds as if your expectations do not match-up with what you know about her and how she treats people, doesn't it? The thing that is 100% within your own power to do, so it is my suggestion, is to adjust your expectations downward so that they are more realistic for this specific individual.

 

Is there a difference between being rude and being disrespectful? Cos I'd call her behaviour rude or socially unacceptable...unless you're the only one she treats like that. Is it possible that you're personalizing and feeling hurt because you have a romantic interest in her?

 

If you don't want to out yourself as being interested in her, the most you could text is something along the lines of, "I wish you would have told me ahead of time."

Communicating to her about "I feel hurt and disrespected," will sound needy and victim-like.

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