nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 MM left cell phone he specifically uses for me in his car. He claims the kids had to take his car to store because he was blocking their cars, over memorial day weekend. Kids read text messages and text messaged me. I spoked to MM about it next morning he said he knows, his kids were not happy with him, it was his fault, okay. that night, i get bombarded with text messages late at night. MM apparently left his cell phone in the bathroom now, while he took wife out to a friends dinner party!! Really? Twice in a 24 hour period? WTF? Now his grown children have both my phone numbers and have seen photos of their younger siblings on their dads phone. I was so angry with him. I think thats what sparked my wanting this NO CONTACT...that and a few days later he told me he did love our children, but only cared for them. Link to post Share on other sites
JLee26 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 So you have kids to a MM? And now his older kids to his W found out? And he is leaving his "special phone" laying around? Umm i think it is officially time to AIR IT OUT, and come clean, if you are having kids with a married man then it has gone far enough, time to let the cat outta the bag. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 they all already know... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 they all already know... the wife knows? Link to post Share on other sites
JLee26 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 so if they all know why have these kids not met their siblings yet? and why r you so worried. Are they harassing texts or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 yes wife knows.... because MM is a compulsive liar! there is no telling what he has storied to them.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 I told MM that he could take our children for the day (with the nanny) and introduce them to their siblings...he said he doesnt know how that will go over, what if he kids wanted their siblings so young to live with dad full time??? yeah right... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 yes wife knows.... because MM is a compulsive liar! there is no telling what he has storied to them.... then why don't you call the wife and introduce yourself and tell her you have multiple children from her husband that he has been supporting for years. If you truly want no contact this will force it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Does he pay child support? If not, then it's time to cut him completely out of your lives. This guy is an absent father, your kids will be better off without him around at all. As will you.. Talk to a lawyer, see what your options are. But, be sure of what you want..I mean, if this guy left his wife and (older) kids, would you take him back? Link to post Share on other sites
JLee26 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 i agree with noforgivness, it is time you made yourself a legitimate part of his life. You are allowing him to treat you and your children like a deep dark secret. Thats simply not fair to ANY of the kids or the either of you women. This is a man who is truly eating his cake and ice cream and pie and milk shake and.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 then why don't you call the wife and introduce yourself and tell her you have multiple children from her husband that he has been supporting for years. If you truly want no contact this will force it. I did, when I was in labor with our 2nd child, alone again....she doesnt know about new pregnancy...we just found out ourselves. She doesnt care...she said to contact their attorney and never call her again. so I never called her again. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 You're pregnant again, possibly with twins? Why do you keep having MORE children with this MM? Sorry, but it makes no sense to bring more kids into this picture when this guy is still married to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Does he pay child support? If not, then it's time to cut him completely out of your lives. This guy is an absent father, your kids will be better off without him around at all. As will you.. Talk to a lawyer, see what your options are. But, be sure of what you want..I mean, if this guy left his wife and (older) kids, would you take him back? Hes always taken good care of the kids, we have a personal written agreement between us. He doesnt want to go to attorneys. In all these years he has never not supported the children. i dont know if I could take him back after he told me he doesnt love me or the kids he only cares for us. Telling me that is one thing, but saying that about our children...i dont know i can forgive??? thats the straw that broke my heart and I told him never contact me again... i went through those circumstances in my other thread Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I did, when I was in labor with our 2nd child, alone again....she doesnt know about new pregnancy...we just found out ourselves. She doesnt care...she said to contact their attorney and never call her again. so I never called her again. Do it then. Begin official support papers and paternity teasting. Start the process NOW. Your children deserve to be supported. You can't count on him to continue it. If you don't want his support then put the money in accounts for when the kids are adults. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 i agree with noforgivness, it is time you made yourself a legitimate part of his life. You are allowing him to treat you and your children like a deep dark secret. Thats simply not fair to ANY of the kids or the either of you women. This is a man who is truly eating his cake and ice cream and pie and milk shake and.... Thats why I told him he messed up telling me he doesnt love our children but only cares for them. then i told him NC ever again!!!! I made it through day 1 NC yesterday...pray i have strength to make it through today.... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 How about wake up call for wife. He's the dad. I bet you could use a vacation. I think you should give the dad and wife a weeks visitation with the kids while you enjoy yourself somewhere and relax. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Do it then. Begin official support papers and paternity teasting. Start the process NOW. Your children deserve to be supported. You can't count on him to continue it. If you don't want his support then put the money in accounts for when the kids are adults. One of the things he made quite clear was DONT go to attorney, he will continue to honor our agreement and make deposits...and rest of agreement items. So, as long as he doesnt violate terms of our agreement then I see no need to go to attorney. He is on their birth certificates, they use his last name.... so what else is there? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 How about wake up call for wife. He's the dad. I bet you could use a vacation. I think you should give the dad and wife a weeks visitation with the kids while you enjoy yourself somewhere and relax. Yeah, i would love that...but he wont take the kids to his house...i've tried...of course he would have take their nanny with him, because hes not around enough for them to go with him...they would cry...they dont know him very well. but he just says its a dangerous place to go. what if his wife and other kids think its better they have full custody of our children??? Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 One of the things he made quite clear was DONT go to attorney, he will continue to honor our agreement and make deposits...and rest of agreement items. So, as long as he doesnt violate terms of our agreement then I see no need to go to attorney. He is on their birth certificates, they use his last name.... so what else is there? What's stopping him from disappearing on you? Of course he doesn't want you to see an attorney. He's probably not paying you nearly enough in support. You are seeing an attorney for your childrens future not for you. You need to give these kids all the advantages you can. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Don't send your children to stay with people who don't want them; likely resent them, just to endure a week of hostility so you can have a vacation. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Yeah, i would love that...but he wont take the kids to his house...i've tried...of course he would have take their nanny with him, because hes not around enough for them to go with him...they would cry...they dont know him very well. but he just says its a dangerous place to go. what if his wife and other kids think its better they have full custody of our children??? He's threatening to take your kids away. He can't do that and you know it. Why when the kids have lived with you full time this long would a judge give him full custody? He is destroying your self esteem and self worth. Don't allow it. I thought you said he was a good father to them? Why do you want to believe that? Obviously he is not if your children don't know him very well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 no he pays plenty of support and already has established funds for children in older life... we have a lot in agreement. So, i keep my word, as long as he doesnt break agreement i wont go to attorney, he cant disappear...i live 4 miles from his office and know where all his homes are... Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Don't send your children to stay with people who don't want them; likely resent them, just to endure a week of hostility so you can have a vacation. I dont have to worry about it, he wont ever take them anywhere.... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Don't send your children to stay with people who don't want them; likely resent them, just to endure a week of hostility so you can have a vacation. He's their FATHER and she said he has ALWAYS taken good care of the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 He's threatening to take your kids away. He can't do that and you know it. Why when the kids have lived with you full time this long would a judge give him full custody? He is destroying your self esteem and self worth. Don't allow it. I thought you said he was a good father to them? Why do you want to believe that? Obviously he is not if your children don't know him very well. Know, i told him he isnt a good father...after saying he doesnt love his children. He is only good at financially supporting them. He just says that as a scare tactic...excuse...I told him Im willing to take that chance... be an honest man once in your life and tell the truth, just take the kids for the day with their nanny and let them meet their siblings.... Im sure he has lied to his Wife and older kids and spun a whole different story...he wouldnt know honesty if it bit him in the a** Link to post Share on other sites
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