,MORE help if you're bi!!!

[Tony T]

I never had any idea how many bi and gay women there were in the world until I signed onto America Online about four years ago. I had always thought the majority of gays and bis were men. (Pretty dumb, uh?)

 

In the profiles that members are allowed to put up, time after time I would encounter screen names of ladies who said they were bi and wanted NO instant messages or Email from MEN...they already had a guy and wanted FEMALES ONLY. A great percentage of others state they are lesbian and interested in female lovers only.

 

I really have no opinion or bias about people's sexual preference. If a guy can find a consenting gorilla, fine with me.

 

What I don't understand is why so many women who formerly were attracted to men veer off and find themselves more attracted to women and want nothing to do with men sexually. I also don't understand bisexuality, although it seems nature gave bi's a lot bigger choice of sex partners.

 

Could someone who perhaps has been there explain the process of changing ones sexual preference in mid-life...or going bi after some years of being heterosexual? I have even heard of women leaving their husbands for another woman.

 

This is an academic question to satisfy my "bi" curiosity. I am completely heterosexual and have never been attracted to gorillas.

 

Many kind thanks for your time.

[Huh? (TO FRAN)]

"What I don't understand is why so many women who formerly were attracted to men veer off and find themselves more attracted to women and want nothing to do with men sexually. I also don't understand bisexuality, although it seems nature gave bi's a lot bigger choice of sex partners."

 

I am a hetrosexual female, but I do believe I can help you with your answers here as I have asked those who have "swiched" to bi and who are lesbian as to why it is so.

 

1. No one knows precisely how to sexually satisfy a female like another female (so I am told, and I do see the logic).

 

As far as being lesbian, it is more a born thing to most than a "making up your mind" .... just as in gay males. The gene just seems to be present.

 

2. Regarding the reasons for turning bi, there are many. Sometimes for the excitment of a change out of boredom with the same old sex from a male all the time. Sometimes for variety. And again, many females feel that another female knows just what to do to satisfy them the best.

 

3. As far as changing from male to females in preference, so many women have been turned off by thier choices in men and how selfishly they make love that the woman seeks more caring, giving sexual partner and finds that in another woman.

 

I am sure there are many more reasons for both, but I am going by what I have been told. As for me, give me a burley dude any day of the week! HAHA. I am not repulsed by lesbians an bi women and some are fine people. It is just NOT my cup of tea.

[Ooopppssss! This is D.]

"What I don't understand is why so many

women who formerly were attracted to men veer off and find themselves more attracted to women and want nothing to do with men sexually. I also don't understand bisexuality, although it seems nature gave bi's a lot bigger choice of sex partners."

 

I am a hetrosexual female, but I o believe I can help you with your answers here as I have asked those who have "swiched" to bi and who are lesbian as to why it is so. 1. No one knows precisely how to sexually satisfy a female like another female (so I am told, and I do see the logic). As far as being lesbian, it is more a born thing to most than a "making up your mind" .... just as in gay males. The gene just seems to be present. 2. Regarding the reasons for turning bi, there are many. Sometimes for the excitment of a change out of boredom with the same old sex from a male all the time. Sometimes for variety. And again, many females feel that another female knows just what to do to satisfy them the best.

 

3. As far as changing from male to females in preference, so many women have been turned off by thier choices in men and how selfishly they make love that the woman seeks more caring, giving sexual partner and finds that in another woman. I am sure there are many more reasons for both, but I am going by what I have been told. As for me, give me a burley dude any day of the week! HAHA. I am not repulsed by lesbians an bi women and some are fine people. It is just NOT my cup of tea.

[Nina]

There are several physiological explanations for homosexuality in men. Homosexual men have certain brain structures that are much more similar in size to womens' than to mens'. Historically, male homosexuality has been more documented, but I think lesbianism has been prevalent for a long time. Even the kama sutra gives instructions on how females in a harem please each other when their master is otherwise occupied.

 

I think as far as I know, women are attracted to women because of society. Women are the sexualized gender. They serve as a sexual symbol for both sexes. When they say sell sex, they mean scantily clad women frolicking together. Women are presented with this sexualized image as much as men are, so they can develop sexual feelings for other women. Men, on the other hand, aren't often sexualized. They aren't the ones we see half naked on TV.

 

My first relationship was with a woman. Now, I'm engaged to a man. I still have sexaul fantasies about women, but being bisexual has taught me to love the person inside, regardless of gender. So I fell in love with a man. It's a function of our continual modernization of social norms. In eras past, sexaulity wasn't so openly discussed or accepted. Now, sexuality is an acceptible thing to discuss, showcase, revel in. We are allowed more freedom to express our id impulses, to be Freudian.

 

As far as women turning to other women mid-life, there are extenuating psycholgical reasons for this, usually. If they haven't been closet homosexuals previously, a turn to lesbianism usually indicates a long past history of traumatic heterosexual relationships. Or sexual abuse. But it's also common for married men to divorce their wives after 10 years. There is even a support group online for heterosexual spouses of homosexual partners.

 

I have to add on a side note that AOL really isn't a representative sample of the population of America.

 

Also, sex between women often mimicks that of sex between women and men. Whereas sex between men is a completely different undertaking. Thus, it's easier to ease into the alternative sexual practices that are closer and more compatible with your previous practices.

 

hope this helped.

[Miranda]

Hmmm...

 

I have also noticed this more and more...

 

My $.02...

 

I think that the women who are in committed relationships with men (and don't want any PM's from men) are looking to spice things up. Many times their husbands also want to participate in 3-somes. Also, another man would be a threat to the relationship if she were to become emotionally attached. If it's secret, maybe the bi woman doesn't think it is cheating because it's not with another man...

 

Bi females seem to be more acceptable, and also a male fantasy, than bi-males. It seems more non-threatening than a bi-male.

 

Also, we are bombarded with beautiful female images in advertisement and film...many straight/ bi women would like to know what it would be like to kiss a supermodel or actress, but not some 'dyke'!

 

I guess I had preconceived notions of what a bi woman was like, but I think these stereotypes are slowly being changes, just as attitudes about gays have changed.

 

It takes all kinds, and I try to keep an open mind. Who knows, some of my friends could be bi (don't think I have any yet) and I wouldn't want to alienate them.