Ruby Slippers Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I go out to lunch with this one friend of mine frequently, and we always split the bill. Not only does she agonize over every little penny... not only does she have a dozen special requests and ask for a bunch of crap on the side every time... she is also a HORRIBLE tipper. I mean, less than 10%, even for stellar service. I always tip at least 20% for decent service, but I'm not going to tip extra to compensate for her miserly tips. I have done it a couple of times because I just couldn't bear to leave a great server with a crappy tip, but I don't want to do it all the time. I'm annoyed that the waitstaff at the places we go probably lump me into the bad tipping duo -- we pay with cash, so it's just all in the pot. What would you do in this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I wouldn't go out for meals with her. I know, that's not a very good solution, but short of telling her how you feel, what else can you do besides quit going out with her or over tip to compensate? If someone can afford to eat out, then they can afford to tip. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I suspect (strongly) that women relate to each other alot differently than men relate to each other. If it was me and one of my firends, I'd probably say "is that all you're going to leave? What a cheap bastard!" without much fear of endangering the friendship. I used to wait tables. I hate it when people leave lousy tips when the service doesn't justify it. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Ask for separate checks, and make sure it's clear to the server which check YOU are paying for. Also, have you asked her why she only leaves 10% or less? Perhaps she's straight clueless. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Ask for separate checks, and make sure it's clear to the server which check YOU are paying for. Also, have you asked her why she only leaves 10% or less? Perhaps she's straight clueless.I agree with this. I can't stand cheap people. Poor treatment of service people is quite telling, from the perspective of character. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 What would you do in this situation? your 20% tip mixed with her 10% tip equals a 15% tip which is a normal tip for good service at a middle-of-the-road restaurant. problem solved Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I usually just leave a bigger tip, anonymously/on the sly if I can get away with it. I don't see it as me "compensating" for my tip-challenged friends, though. With miserly friends, yeah, I do get a separate bill...so I don't have to hear how I had three more wings and half-glass more beer than they did! That crap just makes me cranky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 If it was me and one of my firends, I'd probably say "is that all you're going to leave? What a cheap bastard!" without much fear of endangering the friendship. The first couple of times, I commented as politely as possible on her crappy tip, and she left a tiny bit more. But it's not my job to police her every time. Ask for separate checks, and make sure it's clear to the server which check YOU are paying for. Also, have you asked her why she only leaves 10% or less? Perhaps she's straight clueless. Great idea on the separate checks. I will do this from now on. Let them see that she's the cheap one so when I come back with other friends, they don't ignore me or give me a crappy table. I raised an eyebrow today, and she said, "He was late with my orange juice." She comes up with the lamest excuses for not tipping decently. your 20% tip mixed with her 10% tip equals a 15% tip which is a normal tip for good service at a middle-of-the-road restaurant. Not quite, cuz 10% is a good tip from her. She left 5% today. I left 20%. That amounted to a 13% tip. And it wasn't middle-of-the road -- it's a fabulous restaurant where we have lunch often. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 At any rate, the TYPE of restaurant shouldn't matter as, with an expensive restaurant, the tip is going to go up since tipping is done on a percentage of the bill. I always tip at least 15% (or round up from there), unless there was very poor service for no reason. I mean, if my wait person is running their butt off but didn't bring me a coke as soon as my glass was empty, I would tip more because they're working so hard. Not look for a reason to diminish the tip. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Yeah, but my point is that this is a high-quality restaurant that we love, and I think it's good policy to reward great food, service, and atmosphere with generous tips. Since I have no control over her tipping behavior, and have no interest in trying to school her, I'll get a separate check in the future and let my dollars speak for me, rather than let her drag down my positive feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Since I have no control over her tipping behavior, and have no interest in trying to school her, I'll get a separate check in the future and let my dollars speak for me, rather than let her drag down my positive feedback. ...OR allow her to ride on your coattails and appear to be a better tipper than she really is when you make up the difference for her. It's good that you realize that tipipng is important to wait staff and other employees where tipping is part of the wage. Their base pay just isn't enough. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 well just be careful when dining with her.... guilt by association and all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Yeah, I gotta be honest and say this is a big turnoff for me. It really just hit me what a chronically bad tipper she is. As more and more facets of her personality come out, I am seeing that she is much more self-centered than I originally thought. Link to post Share on other sites
BoredPerson Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Sigh * Tipping is stupid. Waiters are over paid. Kitchen and rest of staff earn around 8 bucks an hour. With tips waiters are more like 25-40 and they're **** at their job. I fail to see why we should have to tip big so some stupid girl can have a nice easy cruisy life. I worked hard in ****ty jobs now I have good money and I earn every cent. I pay my taxes I don't mind paying taxes, but I'm not giving away my money to some silly girl by over tipping. Heck, they probably earn more than me for half the work anyway. I'd be much MUCH more inclined to tip the kitchen and even more inclined to tip if it were split evenly between all workers. Then I'd driop 20% every time. But not to make one person have an easy happy life. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Sigh * Tipping is stupid. Waiters are over paid. Kitchen and rest of staff earn around 8 bucks an hour. With tips waiters are more like 25-40 and they're **** at their job. I fail to see why we should have to tip big so some stupid girl can have a nice easy cruisy life. I worked hard in ****ty jobs now I have good money and I earn every cent. I pay my taxes I don't mind paying taxes, but I'm not giving away my money to some silly girl by over tipping. Heck, they probably earn more than me for half the work anyway. I'd be much MUCH more inclined to tip the kitchen and even more inclined to tip if it were split evenly between all workers. Then I'd driop 20% every time. But not to make one person have an easy happy life. Waiters ans waitresses can make only 3 bucks an hour employers get away with that cause of tips! what the heck are you talking about yet again... lol I herd that from people who actually worked in the restaurant business as I use to years ago..I was in the kitchen but those waiters work there tails off cruisey life? Oh plezzzzzzzz... dont be so silly grasshopper... lol Link to post Share on other sites
BoredPerson Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Waiters ans waitresses can make only 3 bucks an hour employers get away with that cause of tips! what the heck are you talking about yet again... lol I herd that from people who actually worked in the restaurant business as I use to years ago..I was in the kitchen but those waiters work there tails off cruisey life? Oh plezzzzzzzz... dont be so silly grasshopper... lol 3 bucks an hour ? Are you kidding me.. try declaring that on your tax return. They don't get a wage. They get paid in tips which far, far exceeds anything any wage earning employee in a restaurant gets paid. Link to post Share on other sites
BoredPerson Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 You worked in the kitchen and they probably didn't tell you how much they were making to make you feel better. After tips they'll make $180 on a slow night. Can go anywhere up to 300-400 and beyond depend on where they work. Just do the basic math and you'll see there is no way they're going to make less than 8 bucks an hour and usually half that if they're really bad at their job. My guess is you were working twice as much, twice as hard, for half the money. The common my is that waiters are poor, they're not, they make a fortune for very little work. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobster Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Move to the UK. Its not customary to tip Link to post Share on other sites
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