Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Okay so my ex broke up with me, but still is exhibiting signs of control or possessiveness over me. We share many mutual friends, many origionated as his but became mutual over the span of the relationship. Since i've been single, 4 of his friends have made advances of some kind at me. He emailed me questioning me about me and his friends, or really 'our friends' now, I said I have no interest but we have no authority to ask who the other is interested in or seeing, whether or not we may or may like it. Why is he still questioning me, acting possessive, jealous and even a bit territorial over me, when HE dumped ME? Is it just a control thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 It's a guy thing. I wouldn't read too much into it since the net result is that he's not with you. If he wants to be with you, he will be. Also, the next time he pulls this kind of stunt, just tell him what's between you and anyone else, isn't fuel for the gossip mills. He gave up all rights to your business, when he walked away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Yeah so you think its just a general territorial guy thing? As in, I don't want you, but they cant have you either? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I lean towards the aspect that it doesn't matter what he's thinking. What matters are his actions towards you. If he's not moving towards you for the purposes of reconciliation, he can be crazy in love with you and it doesn't do a spit of good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Thanks trialbyfire. As far as I know (so far as he's said) he is still in love with me but can no longer make the relationship work, for me that translates to...you don't love me ENOUGH to make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyV Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I lean towards the aspect that it doesn't matter what he's thinking. What matters are his actions towards you. If he's not moving towards you for the purposes of reconciliation, he can be crazy in love with you and it doesn't do a spit of good. I totally agree with Trial on this one!!!! His actions speak volumes..... Link to post Share on other sites
fairycake Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Thanks trialbyfire. As far as I know (so far as he's said) he is still in love with me but can no longer make the relationship work, for me that translates to...you don't love me ENOUGH to make it work. That's exactly how I felt when mine said I love you but I 'can't' be with anyone at the moment. 'It's nothing to do with you or how I feel about you'. Why the hell couldn't he have made an effort then??? It is possible your ex has regrets and jealousy is normal but as you said he has not right to interfere in your life anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Im a guy and I disagree. It has nothing to do with control... Sounds like he is having regrets after living the single life.....He doesnt know what he wants. He wants to play the field and see what else is out there while keeping you on the side just incase things dont work out for him. You shouldnt have told him you were not interested in any of them. Should have just said it was none of his business.... Sounds to me like he doesnt want anyone else to have you either..... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Im a guy and I disagree. It has nothing to do with control... Sounds like he is having regrets after living the single life.....He doesnt know what he wants. He wants to play the field and see what else is out there while keeping you on the side just incase things dont work out for him. You shouldnt have told him you were not interested in any of them. Should have just said it was none of his business.... Sounds to me like he doesnt want anyone else to have you either.....If it takes a split to make someone appreciate you, it's time to write the other person off. Let's pretend that for some strange reason, the two get back together again. So...what's to stop him from not appreciating her again? Does she have to run around "keeping him happy" by continuing to play the game of loss/appreciation? Not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 If it takes a split to make someone appreciate you, it's time to write the other person off. Let's pretend that for some strange reason, the two get back together again. So...what's to stop him from not appreciating her again? Does she have to run around "keeping him happy" by continuing to play the game of loss/appreciation? Not worth it. And also, this is the second time we have broken up. Once - okay. Twice? Too much... Link to post Share on other sites
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