My gf dumped me but keeps texting.

[Taucher]

Hello everyone,

 

My girlfriend of 4 years left me a week ago today. There was nothing dramatic about our relationship ending it just sort of fizzled out due to neglect (mainly from me - which I am currently agonizing over). I also feel that we both had issues separate from our relationship that neither of us addressed (me with my family, her with her job which she hates but invests all her emotions and loads of time into.

 

I have spent the worst week of my life, culminating in a mini break down (I couldnt stop crying) at work on Thursday which worried my boss who sent me home.

 

My gf says she's not sure about us anymore and says that it is unfair of her to ask me to change, so she walked out on me very suddenly and unplanned. I know it was unplanned as we made plans for the next few days (picnics, boat trips - romantic stuff). An hour before she left me she told me how happy she was (!) and that she loves me. Everything seemed great.

 

Anyway, since she left to go stay with her parents she has texted me or called me every day. One one hour long conversation we had was about my parent's dogs, my one year old nephew (who she adores) and what I have been doing and what she has been doing. It was almost like a normal conversation for us. However, I have not contacted her once. I reply to her texts and answer her calls but never try to contact her. Why is she doing this?

 

I am trying to follow the advice about looking after myself, and I think my GF was pleased this morning when I said that I am trying to give her space and not put my feelings first. I have remained very calm when we talk but am a depressed mess as soon as we get off the phone. We are meeting next Saturday and I plan to get some new clothes and make myself look good and calm also. I am thinking about what I was like and how I can improve myself (whether I am with her or not).

 

We have lived together for 2 years and being in our flat without her or most of her stuff has been especially hard. Thankfully my friend has gone away and he gave me the keys to his flat. My gf this morning said that her parents are driving her mad and that she is going to find a flatshare near her work - she says she will NEVER move back in with me to our flat. However, I said that this time apart will allow us to have space and when she has moved into her new place, maybe we can meet up and see if we can have a better, stronger relationship.

 

As you can see, I am hopeful that we will get back together, and realistically I think that there is a SMALL chance that it might happen. I am not relying on it though.

 

Sorry for this long ramble. I was meant to ask only about her contacting me but I seem to have written alot more. I feel a bit better though.

 

T

[LucreziaBorgia]

Tell her that everytime she contacts you, it is like a stab to the guts and you would that if she truly cared for you, she would leave you alone. Tell her that you'll contact her when you want to talk to her. Otherwise, she is to leave you alone.

[boogieboy]

Yeah she is still calling you to make sure youre not mad at her, for her guilt. It helps cushion the blow for her when she knows you will be a friend to her.

She might also be doing it to make sure you are still after her, for an ego boost. Its happening more often now.

 

Dont do it! Tell her stop calling you for good and hang up. Let her feel guilty for breaking it off. let her suffer just as you have. Giving her the silent treatment is the only way to make her miss you-to miss what she had. She wont miss you if she can call you and you pick up the phone every time. And you cannot take a call or text from her until she says she wants to work things out.

 

She wont suffer for long, she most likely left you to try out someone new, so she wont feel bad for long, but if you ignore her, it might take her longer to get used to the new guy.

 

When they break it off with you, they dont come back, so get that out of you head. Learn from your mistakes and move on to a woman who will try to work things out before she decides to give up on you, and dont take the next one for granted!

 

 

BTW I didnt buy this when I first read it. I had to read thru 30 pages of this forum for it to sink in. You might have to see a few posts like yours to realize girls dump you and its permanent.