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how can people have one-night stands? what do you feel?


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Hello Everyone,

I need advice...

I'm placing this message under "self-improvment and well-being" because I'm not sure what to do with myself and with this question.

 

I want to know why people can have one-night stands with others and not care afterwards. I just don't get it.

 

I'm struggling with this concept because I see my friends do this and I wonder how they see themselves afterwards. How do you feel bringing home a guy or girl to your parents home? Is there no respect for the parents?

Is one-night stands a lack of respect for oneself? or is it, just a personal thing where people just really don't care about sleeping with a multitude of others?

 

I pose this question now, because I have only been with one person and I thought that person was going to be in my life for a long time afterwards (which didn't happen and left me crushed but that's a whole other story).

I was brought up that you shouldn't have sex until you are married and obviously I didn't do that, and I would be intimate with another person if I felt a special bond with that person.

 

I see my friends go out and sleep with random guys and I just don't understand. And I feel that if I ask them about it, that they might think that they are underfire...which they aren't but I don't want to risk asking them.

 

My main reasoning for asking these questions is because, it hurts me. Not what they are doing, but that they have a different morality than I do, and it hurts because I wish that I could be more free-spirited. To understand this better, take into consideration that I am a 22 year old girl who is told all the time by friends and strangers that I should get into modelling or TV commercials and stuff like that because I am decent looking. (this by the way, is not me bragging or high on myself, this is just a reality that I'm trying to pose) When I go out, I could bring a guy home with me if I choose, but I don't. I feel like my life is not normal because I am not this big sexually active creature because of the way I was brought up.

 

I just need help. I just need guidance. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Can anyone answer my questions?

 

I wish I could be free (free to understand, and free of my Catholic morals)

 

-jess

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you are the way you are. if one-night-stands aren't for you, don't do 'em! if your friends want to, it's their business, right? as long as they don't do it at your house.

 

there're all kinds of mind-sets out there, you can't understand 'em all. some people steal regularly. some sweep the floor in front of them to make sure they don't step on insects. all kinds of minds. just live the way YOU think is right. if it's a mindset of somebody you care about, simply ask them to explain.

 

 

my personal opinion is that one-night things are fun, but i never go as far as sex - only making out. sex is reserved for more lengthy relationships, whether or not they're casual.

 

have fun,

-yes

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