dolly718 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi everyone, So there is a client who comes to my work a lot who I've always found really attractive. Rumor had it that he was into me, thought I was really cute/sexy for a long time, I heard this from several different people. I never pushed it though because I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend, even though he's pretty notorious for cheating [not something which bothers me all that much, maybe I'm crazy but whatever]. The other night, me, him and some mutual friends all went out, stayed out really late, got drunk...He was hitting on me all night, flirting with me, and finally asked me to come out with him the next night. I said yes. Yes, I am in a relationship, but one that is basically dead so I didnt have many problems with it. We go out, spend the whole night together [until 6AM] and later with some friends. We crash at our friends house, lied awkwardly in the same bed for a while, waiting for someone to make a move...and one thing led to another and we had sex a couple times. So basically, right now, I'm kind of in a weird place. I dont really like this guy in the sense that I want to be his girlfriend but I'd like to be friends and have a sort of open relationship. Im not sure if he wants the same thing though and I'm getting a little neurotic about it [silly I know]. It was very recently that we hooked up so I'm trying to not get out of control but I felt like we had a great time, seemed like he wanted to do it again, but how do I make that known without sounding weird or desperate? I just really dont want this to just be a one-nighter. Side note: I am planning on breaking up with my boyfriend soon. His relationship with his girlfriend is serious but rocky and I know he's had other girlfriends simultaneously before. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Why didn't you break up with your boyfriend b4 you did the other guy? Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 you owe it to your boyfriend to break up w/ him now.and tell him that you slept w/ someone else, before he catches something you gave him. Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I feel so bad for your SOs. No offense, but it really sounds like a ONS. Not sure there's much you can do about it...other than being responsible and telling your bf to get checked out. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi everyone, So there is a client who comes to my work a lot who I've always found really attractive. Rumor had it that he was into me, thought I was really cute/sexy for a long time, I heard this from several different people. I never pushed it though because I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend, even though he's pretty notorious for cheating [not something which bothers me all that much, maybe I'm crazy but whatever]. Obviously!! Side note: I am planning on breaking up with my boyfriend soon. thank god for him!! Link to post Share on other sites
huck Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 With Dexter & Mark on this one.. Break up with your boyfriend asap... And tell him the truth.. Appreciate your looking for advice on your situation but your boyf doesnt deserve that/you at all.. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Side note: I am planning on breaking up with my boyfriend soon. His relationship with his girlfriend is serious but rocky and I know he's had other girlfriends simultaneously before. I don't understand this at all. Your bf is a human being with feelings. You can't just hold him on a string and when it's convenient for you to dump him, you will. This sounds so insensitive. You should have broke up with him, then pursued this other guy - even if it was only for a ONS. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I don't understand this at all. Your bf is a human being with feelings. You can't just hold him on a string and when it's convenient for you to dump him, you will. This sounds so insensitive. You should have broke up with him, then pursued this other guy - even if it was only for a ONS. exactly. dolly, how about you break up with your boyrfriend TONIGHT? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dolly718 Posted June 2, 2009 Author Share Posted June 2, 2009 I know, I understand he's a human, and I care about him...just not enough anymore. I feel like I just got caught up in the moment with this guy, it was just exciting to have that feeling of being on a date/getting to know someone/not knowing whats going to happen, I got wrapped up in it. Now I'm feeling a little guilty because I'm worried that it was just a ONS, which is exactly what I didn't want, however I'm still not sure. I am going to break it off with him. I should have done it sooner, and believe me, I know it's wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
bean1 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 because I'm worried that it was just a ONS, which is exactly what I didn't want, however I'm still not sure. What makes you think that you are so special that it was anyting more than a one night stand? Seriously? You KNOW he is a cheater and that's he's done this before (many times, apparently), how are you going to change it? You had sex with him "the first night" and have a boyfriend. He isn't going to have any respect for you. He doesn't have respect for his girlfriend, why is he going to have respect for you? Hon... I've been you (although I was single). This is the reality of it. It hurts, but the truth will set you free and realize that you are in a fantasy mode. They call it "the fog". Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 you're interested in a guy,so what do you do? jump right in the sack w/ him, smart---real smart.but do your boyfriend right,and tell him exactly why you're breaking up,not the lame excuse that"he just doesn't do it" for you no more,you know sorta like "hey honey i boinked another guy". Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 yes it is a ONS, you gave it up with no pre-reqs and you have a bf. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Now you're a cheater. You may always be able to find another boyfriend. Where are you gonna look for your honor? When you find that special someone and you look at him, and wonder if he will cheat, because you will project, do you think you will drive him away? Or if he does happen to cheat, will you look back on your own cheating and say " Well I guess I can't blame him for doing the very thing that I did to my last boyfriend". Do you think that will take away the pain? I think you may just realize, how horrible what you did was. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 I know, I understand he's a human, and I care about him...just not enough anymore. I feel like I just got caught up in the moment with this guy, it was just exciting to have that feeling of being on a date/getting to know someone/not knowing whats going to happen, I got wrapped up in it. If this is the kind of person you are, got news for you. This won't be the last time you get "caught up in the moment". This is what makes cheaters what they are. They always get "caught up" in a moment. Now I'm feeling a little guilty because I'm worried that it was just a ONS, which is exactly what I didn't want, however I'm still not sure. Well you will just have to work that one out for yourself. What is important is that you break up with your boyfriend. Did you do it yet? If not, what are you waiting for? Don't waste any more of his time. I am going to break it off with him. I should have done it sooner, and believe me, I know it's wrong. If you don't do it tonight, then its even more selfish than cheating in the first place. Set him free and quit wasting his time. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 If "client" infers anything beyond a random regular customer at a burger joint, I'd also counsel caution with such fraternization if the current career is of any importance to you. Effing customers, or even dating them, can be a whole different can of worms. Once you've been in business for awhile, you'll appreciate the separation between business and pleasure better. What now? Break up with BF and be single. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
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