conflictingheart Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I am a third year university student and have been in a commited relationship for the last two years. As such, I am no stranger to weeks away from my boyfriend. This summer however, I experienced a new feeling when I saying goodbye to him after exams - Releif. Don't get my wrong, I love my boyfriend very much! He is a great guy and we talk almost everynight but, after going through a whole school year spending everyday with each other and now going four months with him in Europe and me in the US..I cant help thinking about how dependant I have become on him. Since school ended, all I can think about is how being with him everyday made me forget who I really was. I am leaving for summer camp next week and despite our amazing relationship, I find myself questioning if its worth it?! And wheather Im missing out on some of the best years of my life? And who I truely am without his influence? I dont have this feeling at all in school but, at home . . . with nothing to do, I find myself dwelling on these questions. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in my position before or cared to give their two sence. Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyTiger Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi conflictingheart. I've never been in your situation so it's difficult to comment, but most people on this forum find that saying goodbye to their LDR boyfriend/girlfriend/husband after spending time together is a terrible painful wrench and they're counting down the days until they will see them again. I'm not saying it has to be the same for everyone, but feeling a sense of 'relief' seems be a step too far in the opposite direction. You may love your boyfriend and he may be a great guy - that doesn't necessarily mean that being in a relationship with him at this time in your life is the right thing for you. From the moment I got together with my husband, I never wanted to be separated from him. If you feel as though you may be 'missing out on some of the best years of your life' by staying in a relationship with your boyfriend, then I think you've got your answer right there. Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi conflictingheart. I've never been in your situation so it's difficult to comment, but most people on this forum find that saying goodbye to their LDR boyfriend/girlfriend/husband after spending time together is a terrible painful wrench and they're counting down the days until they will see them again. I'm not saying it has to be the same for everyone, but feeling a sense of 'relief' seems be a step too far in the opposite direction. You may love your boyfriend and he may be a great guy - that doesn't necessarily mean that being in a relationship with him at this time in your life is the right thing for you. From the moment I got together with my husband, I never wanted to be separated from him. If you feel as though you may be 'missing out on some of the best years of your life' by staying in a relationship with your boyfriend, then I think you've got your answer right there. Agreeing with her. The second Mathew leaves I'm going crazy wanting him to come back. I count down the hours until we're together again and don't feel like myself until that time. When I'm without him I'm just not the same. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I am a third year university student and have been in a commited relationship for the last two years. As such, I am no stranger to weeks away from my boyfriend. This summer however, I experienced a new feeling when I saying goodbye to him after exams - Releif. Don't get my wrong, I love my boyfriend very much! He is a great guy and we talk almost everynight but, after going through a whole school year spending everyday with each other and now going four months with him in Europe and me in the US..I cant help thinking about how dependant I have become on him. Since school ended, all I can think about is how being with him everyday made me forget who I really was. I am leaving for summer camp next week and despite our amazing relationship, I find myself questioning if its worth it?! And wheather Im missing out on some of the best years of my life? And who I truely am without his influence? I dont have this feeling at all in school but, at home . . . with nothing to do, I find myself dwelling on these questions. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in my position before or cared to give their two sence. If you are thinking you are missing out on the best years of your life, then perhaps this relationship is not what you both need right now. Not a lot of 'university' relationships go the distance from my recollection, as people are still growing, changing and wanting to explore new things. Have you spoken to him about your feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
Spirit of the Ocean Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I'm one of those people who enjoy their alone time, if I've been with him for aaages at a stretch then I actually want to go off and do my own thing, without him. But then I do whatever for a couple of hours and I'm always looking forward to going back and hanging out with my boyfriend. Even if it's just watching the news together. I think it's ok to want to your space, each couple do need their space from each other, but if you feel like you're wasting the best years of your life, then you might need to think about what you want out of your relationship. In a relationship I think it's natural to get dependent on each other emotionally, knowingly or unknowingly. For me, I KNOW I'm emotionally vulnerable to him, but I also know that I'm a happier me with him. Having said that each person is different and if you're having doubts about your feelings, just take some time and think about it and how the alternatives would make you feel . Maybe being with him all the time kinda makes you take him for granted. And i dont mean that in a bad way. Maybe summer camp might make you realize how much you want him in your life. My boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half before he went away and we saw each other pretty much every day, practically living together. It's been 4 and a half months since he's gone and I miss him painfully every single day! Sometimes you dont realize how much something means to you unless it's not there. Good luck. I hope your doubts are answered soon Link to post Share on other sites
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