Keeproots Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hello. I am very grateful for stumbling across a very supportive forum like this and in desperate need of advise/help/opinions. I have been dating a girl for about five months now after being a very close friend for over two years. She is the sweetest girl i've ever met and I do love her very much. She is currently 24 years old, and I am 23. We both used to work at the same job and she just got out of a horrible six year relationship. Although she is sweet, she does have problem with alcohol. She has been drinking almost everyday for the last five years but seemed to have controlled it to 1-2 drinks a day. Here's the problem. Last week she was at a friend's birthday party. I wasn't present at the time. She confessed to me the very next day after the party that she was so drunk - she blacked out. And when she finally came to - she realized she was having sex with another guy. She said when she realized she started to cry and ran to the bathroom and called her mom to pick her up. She desperately stated that she had no attraction for the guy and had absolute no intentions for that to ever happen. She was truely sorry and regretful for what she has done. She told me she was going to quit drinking forever- she also have bought self help books and said she has set up appointments for theraphy/consulting. She wrote me a long email telling me how much she loves me and that i mean the world to her... Here's the twist... and the part that drives me insane. Due to my insecurities I have confronted the guy who had sex with her because he works at the same job and i happened to know him. I have also confronted her friends who were actually there when the event took place. According to him and her friends...they said that she was the one kissing him, giving him oral sex, and being aggressive with him. They said before even all that happpen my girl was flirting a lot with the guy and her friends told her to stop flirting with him. The guy who had sex with my gf also said that, "no we cant do this, i thought you were seeing someone?" and my girl replied: "its okay, dont worry about it." Ofcourse, all that could be a lie but more I couldn't help it. I have also confronted this to my girlfriend and she claims that she has absolutely no idea/memory of doing that. The only thing she can remember is that she realized she was having sex, started crying, and stopped immedialtey. My question is... can a royal faithful girlfriend that loves me so much be so drunk to flirt with another guy, kiss him, give him oral sex, AND have sex with him? I understand alcohol can impair judgements and allow someone to do something they would never do when they are sober but... is the kissing and giving a oral sex something POSSIBLE when someone "blacks out" and have absolute no memory of it? I'm having a extremely hard time trying to understand her, forgive her, or ever be able to trust her again. She admitted that it was her fault for allowing her self to get that drunk but she swears on her life that she had not a single intention of cheating on me or had any sexual attractions for the guy she had sex with... Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Dude, your GF is lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Dude, your GF is lying. Seconded. Dump her before you lose any more self-respect. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 your gf has a serious problem with alchol,BUT the one thing about booze is it brings the real person you are out.your gf ho'd on you,when she sobered up enough she realised whooops,i'm boinking another guy.the best thing you can do is tell her she needs help,and that you're done with her. in one of her drunkun flings she's going to give you some disease. if she can't remember the sex,she sure as hell can't remember a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Who is more likely to lie? People who don't really know you and have nothing to lose by telling the truth, or your girlfriend who stands to lose big time if she tells the truth? In this case, alcohol isn't the problem. Its the excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I'm having a extremely hard time trying to understand her, forgive her, or ever be able to trust her again. She admitted that it was her fault for allowing her self to get that drunk but she swears on her life that she had not a single intention of cheating on me or had any sexual attractions for the guy she had sex with... Your having a hard time understanding... because it doesn't make sense... and it doesn't make sense because it's a lie. Besides, if it is true then she is fully willing to sleep with men she isn't attracted to... including maybe you. If your a sad sorry sack, you will take her back and spend the next few years being an insecure loser. Or You could find your testicles and dump her. The choice is yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 she's lying about being blacked out while having sex. If everyone you talked to said it was her that was all over him, then there you go. Why would they lie? she told you that story because she knew there was a high probability of someone ratting her out....and when you went looking for the answers, you found exactly that. and here is but just another story of a gf/bf being at a party without their significant other. maybe you should find a gf that isn't a partier. Partiers don't have a good track record of being faithful. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Dump. She won't stop drinking or cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Her friends have no reason to lie on her, and they have nothing to gain from it, and also the guy has no reason what so ever to lie. She cheated and thats it, and shes probably talking to the guy behind your back, yea she has his number in her cell phone or such, dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 I would believe her, if it wasn't for the fact that her friends all seem to back up the other guy's story. Having heard that, I don't believe her. Her friends would have no reason to tell you she was the instigator -- in fact, they'd have an interest in keeping that part quiet. The fact that they told you what they did is pretty much all the answer you need. Dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
amymarieca Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 The problem with alcohol would have been enough to be a deal breaker for me. Who needs that kind of drama in their life? Link to post Share on other sites
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