Im the ex being harrassed by the girlfriend.... help me to understand..?!

[lostforwords]

Hi,

Well Iam an Ex girlfriend who is being harrassed by the new girlfriend..... and I can honestly say after reading some of these posts, I can understand somewhat why she does what she does. I have no beefs with her despite everything she has said or done... I do somewhat feel sorry for her because quite honestly I dont know the reasons why she does what she does... I mean it may even be him with "insensitive" comments but somehow I doubt that.

 

l have contact with his family as his sister and I are best friends (like sisters.) But in no way do we engage in anything that has to do with her as she is part of the family as well. It has been almost 3 years that we split up as well as almost 3 years that they have been together to just let you know of the time frame. Yes at first I was upset that he found another because I did still love him, but as the saying goes time heals everything and it has.

 

I have moved on in my life and have overlooked a lot of things which she has said and done to try and hurt me or lash out at me. At first I would reply back but after the first year it got me know where and it was getting very old. And it still is.... yes you read right..... it still continues to this day..... the nasty comments, digs, and yeh she had even gone as far as get my password to my webpage my email, and prfile on yahoo and had maliciously said some horrible things about me.

 

Like I said the first year Yes I did retaliate back but unfortunately it made things worse for myself. It gets to the point where I am the topic on her profiles or webpages she has. She makes very snide comments about me or calls me names. I couldnt tell you how many times I have reassured her Iam in no means a threat to her as I live 2000 miles away.... I have no interest in my ex and never will have interest. I am however very saddened over the fact that this pettiness that she does with me has not ended, and quite frankly I dont think it ever will, unless perhaps im six feet under.

 

When I update my profile on yahoo I have to be very careful what I say and I try not to put stuff in there that she may take the wrong way or offend her. For some reason she thinks the whole universe should revolve around just her... How ****ty is that? That I cant even put what I want on my webpage or my profiles. As you can tell Im very frustrated and I do know she is only trying to instigate a huge battle but I just wont do it.

 

My ex has emailed me recently apologizing about looking at my webpage... (I had no idea that he even was) as well he asked that I do not look at theirs... well I was looking at thiers as they have pictures of the family on there.. but quite honestly I really didnt think it would have caused the problems it has. And since he has asked me to not do this, I have stopped and I replied to his email apologizing for any conflicts it has caused. So as you can see Im very amicable about this. However it has not stopped them from looking at mine.... and the ****ty comments made about me or name calling has just recently gotten worse... perhaps because she doesnot see my ISP on her webpage and realizes that I have kept my end of the deal.

 

I just dont know what to think or understand. At one point I might add she did send my cousin a wedding "update" that mentioned my actual address (i didnt know it at the time but thats when she gained access to my email which had my resumes in there with my house address and phone etc...) she made comments about anthrax as well as at that time the states had all those anthrax scares... and so on and so on.... Im not on here to bitch or whine or even slam her.... Im trying to help you understand in hopes you will help me to understand what she is going through and maybe what to expect next. I couldnt be more "out of the picture" anymore than I already am.

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

First thing, shes a bitch that deserves a good ass beating.She's a total retard .

Second ,I'm not understanding the web page thing.

You own a website?

She hacked into it?

If its just a yahoo account why don't you change your information or open another account without putting all your information on it .

As far as your ISP can't you have who ever made it reprogram your ISP?

Is it possible??

 

You should be able to write what you feel on your web pages ,you shouldn't let this IDIOT stop you or make you watch what you say or post.

[lostforwords]

The webpage thing is a personal website i signed up for in angelfire..... she got a hold of the password, my guess is just typed word after word until she got it, i guess stupid on my part i should have changed it or made it a bit harder... she said some mean things on there about myself, my relationship with my ex as well as my children, whom they have never met nor spoke to. she plastered my webpage to me so i would check it out and i was very disgusted, and extremely hurt by him because my thought is how can someone who loved me and proposed marriage to me ever hate me now enough to allow her to do this...... i mean maybe it was even him but i strongly doubt that. however i know he had a hand in it.

 

my yahoo profile she did the same thing too, only it was a bit worse cuz that was where she got access to all my resumes with my current address at that time, and made stupid anthrax comments as well as underlying threats. dont get me wrong, i know its a bit farfetched saying she would have come down to do harm..... but how do i know she didnt post it in some freaking chat place i could have had a sicko at my door.... my concern at that time was my kids as well as my family.

 

now im not claiming to be innocent here i did chat with her and call her names back when i seen that..... as well like i said i was petty and retaliated back at that time.... but for petes sake its been damn near 3 years now enough is enough. I have ignored it for 2, get over it already.

 

Now as far as my isp... every computer has an ip which your internet service provider assigns you. i had a stat counter on my page which told me who was accessing my page but only by the ip..... i have friends in the states so i really didnt think too much of it.... i really honestly did not know it was them..... and quite honestly i do not care because isnt that what a webpage is for???? but oh my god... it caused such a conflict..... well lets just say i have not spoken to my ex in like just about 3 years.... and hes emailed me apologizing that he checked it out????? good grief!!! apparently the world is her forum... and how dare i even so much as defend myself ..... its to the point where all i do is shrug my shoulders and go with the flow .... because quite honestly, im sure his life has got be a bit of hell with her.... its bothering her that bad that he had a past relationship... for whatever reasons.... and i can only imagine what she does or says to him when i have said things back... so now i just ignore it and go on in my life... because im sure the poor guy has said as much as he could to reassure her im not a threat... never have been never will be.

 

quite honestly ive dealt with somewhat distorted people before as i did work in the rehabilitation field but they were mentally disabled people... am i reaching too far to categorize her as maybe being the same? i just want it all to end.....

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

Have you tried reporting her to the website programmers or owners???

This woman is sick in the head and is causing you humiliation.

You need to get a hold of angelfire and report her it may also be illegal for her to do this,you have to check rules at sing up and local law.

Its called INTERNET PIRATESY.

[lostforwords]

yes i did that... unfortunately i did not receive a response from them... by then i had convinced my ex to get her to take it down... he could offer me no reason why except that my boyfriend at that time had made a single comment of "it looks like the shoes wouldnt be hard to fill" in my guestbook.... he (ex) ofcourse took it out of context and thought he was being referred too and he wasnt. i erased the comment and explained it wasnt about him and then bam my webpage was no longer mine.... it was then that i realized i have no control of the situation and fear of further retaliation like what i had experienced i just started to ignore all of it. but it wouldnt go away. now its starting up again and getting worse, and i promised myself i will not retaliate or stoop to her level and ill just ignore it because i am also a firm believer in "Karma." what comes around will go around.... just not damn soon enough for me lol

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

Keep pressing the issue ,email them and call them if you can.

Its damaging who you are to these other people who don't know you.

You asked your EX to take the site down???

I think he's in it too.

[lostforwords]

sorry i guess i should have explained that this was a few years ago and what started the fury of words and misdeeds from her. the website is now down because i asked him to get her to reason with her and take it down and they did. however a few years have past and just giving you an idea of what ive had to deal with...... and now with the recent stuff shes saying and doing.... i believe its going to start all over again. however i refuse to comment to either of them.... because of past occurrences i will always be at fault (according to them) and it will just start a battle im not willing to partake in. dont get me wrong i would LOVE to retaliate back and get my point across to her..... however i know it will not do me any good due to experience already as well im sure it bothers her even more that i am not retaliating and have shown no interest whatsoever. im hoping it will go away eventually but something tells me its not going to. she has tried a few times to get his family involved but they feel the same way i do and i made it very clear to everyone especially her I refuse and will not ever get them involved.... they took a firm stand as well with her that they will never get involved and i will never ask them to but despite what i do... it just doesnt end. how do i get her to understand that enough is enough and im not a threat to her relationship.

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

Oh , I see,I thought it was still going on.

How do you still have contact with them??

Do they call you?

I'm not seeing how shes saying things to you.

I would break all ties to them ,theres no need to ever talk to them or even look at what their saying.

[lostforwords]

no i havent talked to them except when it was to reply to my exes email of his apologizing..... after that i checked out her profile on yahoo to see if it had an affect and hoping she would put a peace sign.... however i came across a bunch of name calling directed to myself and some bulls*** comments, making fun of the whole ordeal..... occassionally i will come across her profile to see if its continuing and it is..... so ive come to the conclusion to just let sleeping dogs lie because i dont want it all to start up again.... she can be a very vindictive person when she wants to be.... and i will not toss his family aside to just appease her.... im not willing to do that nor are they.... but we have agreed she will never be a topic of discussion with myself and that i will never be the topic of discussion with her.... unfortunately it seems she hasnot kept her end of the bargain.... i guess im just trying to understand what makes someone go that crazy?..... is she insecure?.... i have blocked her email and everything but trust me she is a crafty one.... she doesnt intimidate me anymore because my bond with the family is very tight and i will not jeopardize them in any way. however i just want her to understand and feel that iam not a threat..... but i will not tolerate her name calling and bulls*** that shes done before. im just tired of it.... very tired of it.

[Nostalghia]

I agree ... is your friendship with this idiots sister that much worth the aggrevation ... call it a day and leave that family all together! This guy is an idiot to even be with a loser like her! Doesn't really say much about him and his judge of character so why hang with his sis?!

[lostforwords]

i actually dont have any problems with him except that maybe he should damn well restrain her or something.... sorry im kind of in a foul mood now.... shes now getting a mutual person involved (i knew him when my ex and i were living together) and disguising himself as someone else. how i found this out is he sent me pics and i dont think he realized that when he forwrded me his pics they were forwarded to a few other people.... and thats fine.... however as i was checking into these people (in the email) i discovered that this guy posing as someone to just "chat with me" is actually this mutual person i knew when i was with my ex. and friends with her (he was the one that introduced my ex and her together 3 years ago.) i mean cmon all this **** has got to stop... i have done nothing to provoke this..... what makes a person want to go this freaking crazy to continue on something after three years of being out of the picture? i have blocked her, i have posed no threat, i have stopped all communication whatsoever with them..... and i have no clue what more im supposed to do!!!!

[crazyglue03]

Clear one thing up for me Lost. I've seen some of your other posts (good advice, witty too - btw) - Is this ex your husband that you are getting a divorce from right now?

[lostforwords]

No.

[chanya_chip]

sounds like you're being stalked online now...I went through that once. i solved it by changing all my usernames/emails and ceasing all contact with the one who was harassing me. i also stopped visiting the chat channels i had seen him through.

 

I was also hacked into on yahoo, and learned a few things about this--it is very hard if not impossible to hack a username by 'brute force' (trial and error). it's likely that this person either knew your password beforehand or employed a trick to get it from you. i'd just change my own usernames/emails and start fresh. this lunatic seems to be taking things far enough that you might be able to take legal action...i'd say that you might have to. if i were in your situation i'd be damn scared...

[crazyglue03]

Originally posted by lostforwords

No.

 

Sorry, its been a while since I could post.

I'm all kinds of confused about this issue. But hey, none of my business if it't not your soon to be ex husband or whatever. Lol. But as long as the behavior isn't still continuing and all contact has been severed by both parties. Then nothing to worry about right?

 

Hope you are doing well in your battle for happiness and sanity. I am currently winning that one this week!

 

Good luck!

[Arabess]

I'll quote Vash.....what a TOTAL RETARD! She has no right to force you to change internet identities or friends.....regardless of who they are. If HE (the MORON who loves her) can't control her actions.....I think I would find a way to control her. YEAH....it may be ILLEGAL....but I wouldn't let ANYONE take away my freedom. I'd kick her A$$ first.

[lostforwords]

Sorry, its been a while since I could post.

I'm all kinds of confused about this issue. But hey, none of my business if it't not your soon to be ex husband or whatever. Lol. But as long as the behavior isn't still continuing and all contact has been severed by both parties. Then nothing to worry about right?

 

Hope you are doing well in your battle for happiness and sanity. I am currently winning that one this week!

 

 

Sorry i hadnt realized that it mattered whether it was an ex bf or ex hub.... LOL.... it was an exboyfriend..... and i would just like to add that i believe due to unforseen family tragedies..... the snide comments, the name calling, all of it i believe (fingers crossed) will all stop now...... like i said i have reassured her im not a threat, i do however have to trust it will stop. i just have this understanding now of what she may be going through after reading some of the posts on here..... and i truly do feel bad for her, it has got to be hard entering a relationship with someone knowing he had a past relationship that wasnt all bad. but more importantly i hope she realizes i will never be a threat to her, and that its completely over. im happy now with the resolution.... i just hope shes truly sincere this time.....

[crazyglue03]

Oh it's not a huge concern if it was the soon to be ex husband or an ex lover. I was just confused as why she was doing all of these things to you if the husband was involved. I think this woman might have some frustrations about you, but I also think that the ex is involved as well. Maybe he didn't want to stop it because he knew about it all along. Then again, maybe he has no clue what she does on the net.

 

About my question of is it the soon to be ex husband or someone else, I am still trying to understand why people stay seperated and just don't get divorced.

 

If this woman knows what you are posting on LS then she must either be really cunning or very bored and obssessed. I feel for you if you have to deal with that situation again. But I would also suggest just go ahead and ignore, ignore, ignore. Of course, easier said than done right? But maybe the two of you have come to an agreement and she will leave everything at rest.

 

Sorry to hear about your family tradgedy as well.

 

And please understand I am certainly not trying to pass any form of judgement about the seperation/divorce/ex-lover/husband thing.

 

Good luck!

[lostforwords]

If this woman knows what you are posting on LS then she must either be really cunning or very bored and obssessed.

 

 

Cunning? no.... rather devious.. as well as bored and obssessed. as far as on here? i dont know if she does come on here, i know she is aware of this site as i put it on my yahoo profile for an hour to promote what a great site this is. (just proved to me when she told me that, she checks up on my profile OFTEN) Then i changed my mind as yes i do think shes crazy enough to come and start posting, perhaps desguised as someone else even without me knowing..... but somehow that just may be paranoia kicking in lol.... ( i sure frikking hope so) nonetheless.... its all been put behind me now.... some friends and family of mine say i shouldnt be too trustworthy but then theyve also seen some of the stuff shes done, and feel like im not dealing with a "normal" person. However time will certainly tell..... makes me grateful that i live 2000 miles away... im sure i would be getting all the drive bys etc..... as what was said with other women.

 

but I also think that the ex is involved as well. Maybe he didn't want to stop it because he knew about it all along. Then again, maybe he has no clue what she does on the net.

 

Somehow i think he DOESNT know what she does on the net (just from my experiences with him)..... she just may have got her timing down pact where she can change details etc.... and if he does know... well its his problem... who knows... at this point it really doesnt matter to me now. Besides im sure karma will kick in soon to deal with it, if it hasnt already LOL, all i have is her word it will all stop and funny how i put my faith into that, despite everything shes done, but then again i do feel awful for her. she is tormented, that is a given with everything that she has done and tormented people act out on instinct not rationalization.

 

And please understand I am certainly not trying to pass any form of judgement about the seperation/divorce/ex-lover/husband thing.

 

No judgement taken.... its a long confused messy story with my ex hub..... LOL.... one fit for another day perhaps....

 

Sorry to hear about your family tradgedy as well.

 

Thank you.

 

well im sure ive bored people to death about this.... have a good day!!

[crazyglue03]

Drive bys? Lol. Do you need to borrow a bullest proof vest then? Good for you that you do live so far away. Bad for you that she has the internet to bother you!

I would suggest if you aren't too attached to your user name/account at Yahoo, then change to another one she doesn't or couldn't find out about.

Obviously even with a helpful site like this, she is going to great lengths to find out about you and what you are posting. I do hope you haven't wasted your faith and that she will leave you alone.

 

And as for the ex, if he does know about it, it's like you said, that is his problem. He sounds as if he likes to have other people do his dirty work and then hide behind that person when the blame game is going on. Some people can do that, others cannot. I stand up for myself and what I believe in and don't hide behind others. But not everyone can be as strong as that.

 

I hope for your sake, she leaves you alone and that you get the well deserved peace of mind that you have needed for quite some time.

 

And you couldn't bore me with any details. I am too nosey for my own good!

 

Good luck to you!

[lostforwords]

And as for the ex, if he does know about it, it's like you said, that is his problem. He sounds as if he likes to have other people do his dirty work and then hide behind that person when the blame game is going on

 

I honestly dont really know if hes involved or not...... if he is no wonder shes doing what shes doing. When we were together, he was the type of guy that didnt like past issues brought up, especially hurtful ones. I know people do change with each relationship but i just cant see him being like that tho, see i want to believe hes still a great guy, just as im sure shes a great person too.... insecurities and jealousy just do wierd things to people.... im sure if the circumstances werent what they are they would make great friends.... see im one of those people who always give people the benefit of the doubt.... i do believe she is a good person which being insecure and jealous has just gotten the best of her.... for 3 years LOL.... I dunno, if a person cant have faith, then what can they have?

[crazyglue03]

I agree. What will be will be right?

 

On a lighter note, nice pic change!

[lostforwords]

your right!!... and thanks the pic is of my cat noochies.....

[crazyglue03]

Noochies?

Care to explain that name? Lol.

[lostforwords]

LOL.... my daughter named him..... after Jay and silent bob..... his full name is snoochie boochies.... however we shortened it to noochies or nooch..... makes it easier to pronounce when im scolding him for wrecking the house... and trust me he terrorizes with his sister and his mom... yes i have 3 in total.... birmese.... mothers name is cookie and sisters name is scoobin doobin..... lol