Apart and shaken

[LisaUk]

Gunny -- the problem is that I'm so spent emotionally and physically from weeks of no sleep that I don't have the energy to get going in the first place. I know it will take time to ramp up, but when I get home from work, I start to snooze at the desk when I sit down. So I've tried running then, but there is just nothing left in the tank. I can't get out of bed in the morning, and if I run later I get too much energy.

 

Then later, at bedtime, I'm exhausted but I can't turn off the brain.

 

I'm going to the doctor today to see if they can prescribe something that will help me get back to a normal schedule. No more waking up at 4 am and obsessing over the situation for the next 3 hours. Instead, bed at 11, up at 630, bike ride or run, work, home to take care of the house, and then out with some friends.

 

I held off from this for as long as I could, but I just can't keep it up any longer. I'm too focused on this all the time...and somewhere in my brain I can't reconcile her words with her actions. It is all too confusing, so I can't just hash it out, come to a conclusion, and move on.

 

I do know this, though. I stopped trying the other day...I had been doing everything (and a lot of things wrong, but too bad about that) possible to save this, and she walked. I can hold my head high for the rest of my life knowing that I didn't quit when the going got tough, hell, I probably was still playing after the ref blew the final whistle. One day I'll stop being so crushed, and instead I'll just lament what we could have done together.

 

I wish her the best of luck in life, because I think running from this now will have a lasting impact that she just can't fathom today.

 

It will take you ages to figure it out, it did me, even then you will never know for sure, only she knows that. The going over it in your mind gets less. Maybe some IC might help, I'm going, so we shall see. It does get less though as time goes on, I don't wake in the night anymore.

 

Anyway, at the end of the day doesn't matter why she left, she walked, period.

[lupa]

we started out today on the phone talking about bills/finances. Conversation went fine, we kept talking about other things. We talked some more. Then some more. Then more.

 

Finally I asked why she hadn't filed for divorce yet. I need closure one way or another. She said she would look into it, but why didn't I do it. I told her it was because, for whatever reason, this isn't how I want it to end.

 

She came back with, "oh, so you can be the good guy."

 

Listen, I want everyone to know here that I don't care about the appearances or anything. She can tell herself I'm selfish, she can rewrite our marital history to make it seem like I make everything about me. Whatever she needs to do to make herself feel better, but I gotta tell you, I don't care about appearances.

 

We started in on the "how to divide" possessions conversation, and I decided to inform her that I plan on selling the house at any number. Given the current market, that is more than likely going to be at a loss. She made some argument that "oh yeah, you know more than a realtor" to which I replied, "no, I really have just been paying attention to the market lately, what with our marriage ending and me having to sell a house now."

 

She started about how my family would just take care of me, and I laughed and said that I've earned every penny (this is a family-owned environmental engineering company). I said that it was great my parents both started with nothing and can afford things, but I busted my ass to get where I am.

 

I told her whatever she needs to do to be happy...I don't expect any texts, emails, calls, nothing...just don't show up with papers or have them delivered to me unexpectedly, because that is when I'd get angry.

 

Simply put, I went from quitting the "hoping it would work", to knowing it is finally time for me to close the door. I didn't want it to end this way, but I think now I don't want it to work out.

 

I think that she is making a terrible mistake, because she thinks she has a fall-back position with either our "friend" or the old flame from years ago in California...this is the same girl who made me promise to never move away from this area because she would be too far from her family.

 

I did, at one point, ask her to explain how I am "intimidating" (which she said again today) so that with my wife and children in the future I do not do that. She couldn't put it into words...so I let it drop. I think she is building up a rationalization, and now is so locked in that she would feel "weak" if she changed course.

 

Meh, I always knew she was weak about a lot of things, but I was willing to look beyond it. I guess I held out hope that we could use our common ground to make the leap to the next stage. She swears it isn't salvageable, and I told her, "yeah, I think you're right. Let's start the process of moving on."

 

Silence.

 

So, like I said, I don't want it to end this way, but I certainly don't want it to continue. I'm going to start living my life.

 

As a side note, I went to the doctor, talked to him for a while and he said, "hey, man, I've been there, I know exactly what you are going through. We need for you to be able to reset your brain at night, and you'll feel a lot better in the morning. From there we can get you back moving and exercising." I looked at his hand, and he had no wedding ring...he laughed and slapped me on the shoulder, said, "we'll get you back into fighting form. I'm glad you've tried exercise and everything else first. Don't worry." Gave me a prescription for something, said it would definitely knock me out for 8 hours.

 

Kinda excited to try it tonight. Sweet, sweet sleep. Then I can get up and start wanting to seize the day again. I liked that about the old, pre-married me.

 

She wasn't good enough for me, or at least couldn't keep up. Too bad. Goodbye, my dear, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

[LisaUk]

Good for you Lupa!

 

You got it, she ain't good enough for you!

[thrash4]

You are truly my inspiration, wish i had a fraction of your courage..very well done.

[tojaz]

Good for you Lupa, show her what your made of!

[PWSX3]

Just want to share something with you.

 

When my wife moved out ilmw shared a lot of good things with me, he was a few months ahead of me.

 

He also wanted to save his marriage, did everything he felt he could but one day you just finally decide it is over, it is time to move on. You can only fight so long before you have to move on....

 

Another friend fought for his marriage & said "HE" would never file but after a while you have to finally realize you have done all you can do & filing for the divorce is just a way you can move on with your life. It isn't because you want the divorce but it is because the other person isn't willing or doesn't want to do it or afraid of who knows.....

 

My former wife finally filed & I was thankful for that because I didn't want to have to be the one to do it since it wasn't my idea but I do see where sometimes the person that doesn't want the divorce has to just to be able to move on.

 

Hope I didn't rattle to much & some of this can be helpful. It is a hard decision no matter what, but I can tell you just like many others here; their is life after a divorce.

[hopesndreams]

You'll be back to your old self .... the person you were before you were married. How important that is. You are going about this the right way Lupa, and I know you still want her back and I do know, you would take her back in a heartbeat, but she doesn't need to know this. Keep the small talk to a minimum and at best, no small talk at all. Turn her world upside down. Have you completely resigned yourself to there is no getting back together? I really didn't mean to assume anything. Is it over?

[lupa]

You'll be back to your old self .... the person you were before you were married. How important that is. You are going about this the right way Lupa, and I know you still want her back and I do know, you would take her back in a heartbeat, but she doesn't need to know this. Keep the small talk to a minimum and at best, no small talk at all. Turn her world upside down. Have you completely resigned yourself to there is no getting back together? I really didn't mean to assume anything. Is it over?

It is over for her. She is so set on the fact that she thinks everything is about me, except that we had the wedding she wanted (I wanted beach, she wanted what we ended up doing...princess wedding at a country club), the cats (I wanted none until we had property, we ended up with two at this house), the car she wanted (she wanted to lease a VW Bug, I thought it a terrible idea...we leased it, and in the end paid extra for the overages and got her a Lexus RX 330), the house she wanted (we're in an area where the next youngest people are 50). I did everything in life to satisfy her needs, until I realized that her world is so freaking unrealistic...well...

 

I do want it to work, and I am terrified of the future. But i had to do everything I thought I could, even if it was the wrong way to go about it to "win" her back...well, I had to give it my all.

 

I can walk away from this, knowing that I tried my best and there was nothing left to give. I don't think she'll ever find a man who is willing to admit flaws, take blame, try to improve, and dedicate his life to becoming a better person. I am a man who wants to be the best he can be, and quite frankly I'm willing to admit my flaws...where is she going to get that again? Out of someone who has had the life experience I have?

 

Nowhere.

 

Good luck, honey. I hope you "luck" upon your happiness.

 

...in the meantime, I'm going to incorporate these lessons and just get freaking better, so that I can really be a good role model and teacher for my children that I will have some day, and be a man, a provider, and a lover for the woman I will have by my side forever.

 

One day at a time I'm getting stronger, I'm licking my wounds, I'm rising from these ashes. Sure there will be people I need to face, embarrassment I need to get over...that is probably the biggest test. When I get over what other people think, I feel like I'll be ready for the next step...I will have started Phase II.

 

Too bad the woman I promised my life to is too short sighted to try it with me. Good luck, and godspeed.

 

There is a big world out there, and it is time to go exploring.

[Gunny376]

First off you need to get over that its about you. Men and women's minds are "wired' differently, and women's minds are much more complexly wired than men's.

 

That's not to say they're smarter, wiser, more intelligently ~ just 'wired' differently. They tend to think, feel more emotionally and make decisions from what they feel rather than as men? Who think differently from them.

 

Let's say that men make judgements from an external view, while most women (not all) make them 'internally'

 

Women are more prone to depression than men. All kinds of depression. And I believe from what you've posted, that's what your dealing with here.

 

She's depressed, and she doesn't know why ~ BUT? She sees you as the source of her unhappiness and depression.

 

So her solution is to distance herself from the so-called "cause' of her depression which would be you!

 

Depression? Is caused by a lot of things, it could be situational, such as the lost of a love one, but for women? (And most men) its a combination of both situational (i.e. stress) and bio-chemical.

 

This is more so for women, not because they're flawed in some way, but because they have more raging hormones flooding through their bodies than men because of their menstrual cycle.

 

I get this from all of the books I've read, and I've a lot of and have read a lot of books, articles, magazines on the subject when it comes to marriage!

 

I would encourage you to hold off on selling the house, throwing everything away, and just tell the DW to go and get some medical tests, some IC, (She should do it for herself if not for the both of you)

 

Just having a woman having a thyroid problem is enough send her "Wo~wo!" (And men to)

[Chrome Barracuda]

Who really cares who files for divorce. I mean she probably wants you to do it, because she's a coward and it makes you look like a bad guy, but that is what exposure is for to let other parties know what's going on, so that way she cant twist the story to others, and trust me she will try.

 

But if your ready to be done with her, why not just have her served and wash your hands of her. Life is too short to be waiting on a woman who cant love you or doesnt even love herself.

 

File and move on.

[LisaUk]

It is over for her. She is so set on the fact that she thinks everything is about me, except that we had the wedding she wanted (I wanted beach, she wanted what we ended up doing...princess wedding at a country club), the cats (I wanted none until we had property, we ended up with two at this house), the car she wanted (she wanted to lease a VW Bug, I thought it a terrible idea...we leased it, and in the end paid extra for the overages and got her a Lexus RX 330), the house she wanted (we're in an area where the next youngest people are 50). I did everything in life to satisfy her needs, until I realized that her world is so freaking unrealistic...well...

 

 

Sure there will be people I need to face, embarrassment I need to get over...

 

Oh, I can realte to this! My ex made out he put his feelings aside to compromise for my feelings, yet he had EVERYTHING his own way, all the time, even down to where we lived as well. When he left he tried to say he had to compromise himself, when the thruth is he wanted everything his own way, so on the rare occasion that he did have to compromise with me he felt and built up resentment. He is projecting his own faults onto me. Well, that isn't a committed relationship, my dearest! (Now *********).

 

Lupa, if there is one thing I can pass on to you about life it is this

DO NOT GIVE A C**P ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU! That is something I have learned over the years from having an anxiety problem, as long as you are true to yourself, kind, compassionate and caring, if someone doesn't like you, who gives a f**K!

[LisaUk]

Gunny, the menstrual cycle, I'm sorry but I couldn't let that one go, the emotional PMS, lasts maybe a day or two for most women and we are AWARE that is what it is! Have to say it isn't nice and isn't always controllable either, but it doesn't have anything to do with how women behave for most of the month! IMO

[PWSX3]

Lupa no matter what happens you don't want that old marriage back so she would need to do some changing as well & so far she has shown NO sign of that.

 

Even if she said; o.k. lets get back together you really need to set down & make a list of the things you want in a partner/wife/etc. Then I would feel you would need MC & start very slowly again so it would take time.

 

So move on, see what happens. It is hard, it is scary, but as long as you take the high road you will be much better person because of it.

[Gunny376]

Gunny, the menstrual cycle, I'm sorry but I couldn't let that one go, the emotional PMS, lasts maybe a day or two for most women and we are AWARE that is what it is! Have to say it isn't nice and isn't always controllable either, but it doesn't have anything to do with how women behave for most of the month! IMO

 

Nor did I mean to insinuate that. It varies from individual to individual. Its not just women who fluctuating hormones act upon either. Testosterone isn't any joke either! Just look at what steroids does to men when abused?

 

Or not abused, but is just unusually naturally high in men?

 

I'm not speaking in 'absolutes' here! What can said about one individual cannot be said about another. But rather in general.

 

Women are more prone toward depression than men ~ in general. That's to include post natal depression, seasonal effect depression, etc. When not completely understood one tends to project that (men and women) on the ones closest to them, ("I'm not happy, and your the reason I'm not happy!") when in fact? It has nothing to do with the other person.

 

When Lupa's SO says she's intimidated by him, without being able to give 'specifics' its about her own insecurities about herself and not about him.

 

That combined with an emotional disconnect somewhere along the line? There's no getting it back. The emotional disconnect isn't necessarily Lupa's fault? But either directly or indirectly she's projecting that upon him, and he's mirroring that? (Beating himself up for the failure of the relationship) when its not necessarily warranted?

[lupa]

When Lupa's SO says she's intimidated by him, without being able to give 'specifics' its about her own insecurities about herself and not about him.

 

That combined with an emotional disconnect somewhere along the line? There's no getting it back. The emotional disconnect isn't necessarily Lupa's fault? But either directly or indirectly she's projecting that upon him, and he's mirroring that? (Beating himself up for the failure of the relationship) when its not necessarily warranted?

I'm starting to feel that...I'm starting to feel that she is dropping all of this on me to rationalize her actions.

 

Just now she showed up at the house to pick up her 'crafts' stuff. Didn't get it the other day for whatever reason. I was asleep in the gameroom and the front door opened. She stayed for 10 minutes, and I probably said two words to her...she can't look me in the eye, and kept trying to be 'nice' to me, if anything.

 

I don't even know if I have a point, other than that I actually feel better now than I did before. I didn't know she was going to be here today at all, we didn't talk, and I was upset this morning. Just seeing her in my house made me...mad? Can't say I'm pissed or anything, but I actually saw the real her with my eyes for the first time in a long time. I made sure to see the wrinkles in her face, see her figure wasn't what it once was. I made sure to see, really see it this time, that she didn't have enough character to try to follow things through to the end.

 

I made sure to see through all the bullsh*t layers and peer into the real her...the her that had been pissing me off for the last year. Not the physical things (those were just comforting to me for whatever reason), but the things like she could abandon our little family such as it is, she could bail out on the house, she could quit.

 

I wasn't rude or anything, but I met her "I didn't know you were home" with "hmmm." "Talk to you soon" with "hmmm."

 

She kept saying "well, talk to you soon" and then going back into a different room to get something. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, but I just didn't show any emotion at all. Maybe I should have tried to be happy or something, but I was just asleep (for the first time in ages during the day), and I gave her absolutely nothing.

 

I do not hope it will work out any more. I am almost done wanting it to. I'd really just love to understand what happened, so I could then let it go. I don't think I'll ever understand, but like I said, seeing her today...well it was the first time I didn't want to hug and kiss her since this all started. I have a feeling she is going to turn into some kind of semi-familiar stranger as this goes along.

 

Now I just have to get where the women are out, looking for me. I know they're looking for me... *wink wink*...I just don't know where that is yet.

[tojaz]

Your a lot stronger then i am lupa. Right now I'm feeling pretty good, but i don't know what would happen if she just waltzed into the house. I/m getting better, but she still gets to me from time to time. Your in a good place right now lupa, stay there, i'm following in your footsteps.

TOJAZ

[lupa]

Your a lot stronger then i am lupa. Right now I'm feeling pretty good, but i don't know what would happen if she just waltzed into the house. I/m getting better, but she still gets to me from time to time. Your in a good place right now lupa, stay there, i'm following in your footsteps.

TOJAZ

I know I keep saying it, but this is going to be hard. I am riding the "man, what was I fighting for?" feeling pretty well right now. I guess seeing her without makeup, or at least all done up, was a reminder of the real her. The one that would sleep until 11 when she was unemployed, the one that really couldn't cook at all, whose idea of health food was something "lite" out of the freezer aisle, meanwhile who wasted all this money on Weight Watchers that is stuffed in my pantry now. I am starting to see the one whose clothes were always all over the room, who forgot a full load at the dry cleaners (her stuff, I didn't even know it was there) for so long they pitched it, the one who couldn't hold a job, didn't clean up behind herself (not the house, just left sh*t everywhere)...well, the her that had me pissed for so long.

 

Don't get me wrong, this isn't "bash the STBX day" but I need to dredge up the bad stuff, too, so that I don't idealize the past. I've written here that I've been annoyed for like a year. It was true, I wasn't just saying it to make myself feel better...this house is so much neater and more organized since she is gone. I really haven't had the ability to do a thorough cleaning yet...maybe for the first time I'll hire a cleaning crew...but I have my garage that I can actually put a car in! There aren't 4 days worth of dirty dishes in the sink! There is food in the fridge that isn't just for the microwave!

 

I need to drop the last vestiges of married life...I need to accept that more often than not, I'm going to be alone at night. I need to realize and accept that things are going to be hard for a while.

 

She is going to meet someone immediately, as she is very attractive, and that will crush me. I'll be bouncing around down here in this dying town, mad and jealous. Then, I'm going to find someone, someone I hope is strong, beautiful, intelligent, witty...someone with whom I can have my family that I've really started wanting.

 

really, though, all I want for tonight is to get laid. I swear to god getting a little action would take the edge off...I might start out at a buddy's girlfriend's house tonight, as they plan on playing drinking games. Too funny...I gave up drinking games...and if there aren't any targets there, I have to work up the nerve to go figure out where they are.

 

Pfft...the next guy can have her. There's a lot of good packaging there, but she just proved that there isn't strength, substance, or any type of follow-through. When the going gets tough, she just runs away.

 

 

I do feel like 6 yrs was a long time to go through to end up with nothing, but then I think of Gunny yelling at me saying, "Son, you just learned a life lesson! You? are going to be a MAN now!" (crazy punctuation included...)

 

Hoorah!

 

I'm going to pick up pieces one by one, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how tough this journey will be.

 

So, tojaz, when you say I'm strong, I say this is me no longer being completely helpless. I'm still weak, I'm still hurting, but I'm also a fighter. Next time around will be different, and it will be better.

 

*starts looking for next time around...*

[tojaz]

Get your facts straight jack, you have not been helpless the whole time I've been reading your thread. You fought the good fight, you tried to save your marriage, you loved her for the right reasons! You took the high road bud, thats a man right there. The strength i was referring to is moving on. I have invested too much of myself in my wife, I've been loving her memory all this time even though shes gone, and i will right up until I get the letter, i know that. I'm here in a hopeless situation looking for hope that she will wake up and call it all off and all will be right with the world, even though I know what she is now and I don't want it. I'll get there, but it's still a ways off.

TOJAZ

[lupa]

Get your facts straight jack, you have not been helpless the whole time I've been reading your thread. You fought the good fight, you tried to save your marriage, you loved her for the right reasons! You took the high road bud, thats a man right there. The strength i was referring to is moving on. I have invested too much of myself in my wife, I've been loving her memory all this time even though shes gone, and i will right up until I get the letter, i know that. I'm here in a hopeless situation looking for hope that she will wake up and call it all off and all will be right with the world, even though I know what she is now and I don't want it. I'll get there, but it's still a ways off.

TOJAZ

The thing that happened this week is that I accepted it was hopeless. You just typed it, but you haven't accepted it yet. I can't tell you to accept it, you have to accept it.

 

Let's focus on the REAL concerns we have...how are we going to find another woman, the real one, the one we can now show the love that we didn't in the past? It is now a problem of practicality...she's gone, we're alone, and we need to start moving.

 

I'm not suggesting a long-term relationship today, but we need to start finding out where these other single people are...some may have been through this, some may have just never settled down. We just need to find them, and start hanging out with them. I have a feeling things will just flow from there.

[phineas]

.I'm starting to feel that she is dropping all of this on me to rationalize her actions.

Yep. She's been doing this to me for the last 5 months. But I refuse to take responsibility.

 

I think it's time to change the locks & tell her to get all her stuff out.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Lupa you mentioned she's very attractive and she'll meet another man? and you'll be angry but guess what, you pulled her to begin with and she's a dime piece right? That shows that you have the ability to do it again. Your not chopped liver. but the next best woman or you should not only be attractive but have great inner beauty as well. One that matches up well with you, and dont put up a front.

 

See that's what you need to realize, you pulled your ex, you can pull some other female or equal or greater than beauty. cheer the F up. your life isnt over. This is just one giant speed bump. You'll do better on down the road.

[lupa]

Lupa you mentioned she's very attractive and she'll meet another man? and you'll be angry but guess what, you pulled her to begin with and she's a dime piece right? That shows that you have the ability to do it again. Your not chopped liver. but the next best woman or you should not only be attractive but have great inner beauty as well. One that matches up well with you, and dont put up a front.

 

See that's what you need to realize, you pulled your ex, you can pull some other female or equal or greater than beauty. cheer the F up. your life isnt over. This is just one giant speed bump. You'll do better on down the road.

Cheers to that, man, cheers to that.

 

I just hung out at a party tonight where I was the oldest person by five years. Not a big thing in the scheme of things, but when everyone else is 26 yrs old, and you're 31, you're keenly aware. Pool party, lots of drinking...

 

...I got a 23 yr old's phone number. We're going to meet for Mexican food this week. In our conversations tonight, she seemed way more mature than the other girls there , and they were all older than her. It was more of we have a shared past, but I have the experience and wisdom of a few more years. I'm not going to try for a relationship, but we can hang out at Jose's for a night, and I can practice listening. Right?

 

It is good to get digits, even if they are from someone you know it is never going to happen with.

 

Baby steps to the goal...one at a time.

 

I will say this -- in front of everyone that reads this: regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the woman, I am going to treat them all with the utmost of respect. No games, no "player" for me. This will be their chance to meet the real (and hopefully new and improved) me. I'm out of friggin high school now...I'm no longer an adultolescent.

 

This is the real world, this is real life. My wife is going to miss an amazing opportunity to grab this next world by the nuts and own it. Whoever ends up coming with me will have an amazing ride.

 

Y'all sleep well...my goal is to not get up until dinner tomorrow night.

 

Peace out.

[Gunny376]

Well lupa, its like Ron White says, (I'm paraphrasing)

 

"A man should never marry a woman just because of her looks!

 

A woman's boobs get to sagging, you can take her down to the 'boob store' and point out the models of boobs they have hanging on the wall, and tell them, "I want those boobs on that woman right there!"

 

If she gets a little bit of a belly and doesn't want to work it off? She can go and have a 'tummy tuck'

 

She starts to get older, and her vision starts to fade? She can get lasik surgery and have 20/20 vision.

 

If she gets hard of hearing ~ they can implant hearing aids inside of ears?

 

But one thing is sure and certain?

 

You can't cure stupid! Ifs for life!"

 

As I've already said, your not going to find it hard to find a replacement when your good and ready to do so.

 

Indeed, once you've gotten your head and @zz wired back together? They're going to smell your new 'singleness' like a shark can smell blood in the water miles away?

 

What I think you should do? Is 'date' lots of different women. Get out of the mind-set of dating just woman at a time? Re-define your definition of what dating is? Its not a means to and end. Its spending time with someone, getting to know someone, what they're about, enjoying each other's company, doing things ~ and if that leads to something? Great!

 

And if not? Well? Whew! Dodged that bullet.

 

I would recommend not so much going on a traditional "date" so much as going about doing the things that you enjoy and are passionate about and inviting them to come along. If they want to come along? Great! And if they don't well that Great too, because you can still enjoy yourself!

 

Your still young, I'm guessing in your late twenties.

 

One of the single greatest reasons your going through what your going through is because you lacked the experience, (and even more so your wife) to make it work.

 

That's not to say you haven't dated tons and tons of women? But how many have you been in a serious live in long term relationship with? I'm 52 and have approximately two under my belt.

 

Something that both men and women should learn is how to live alone and be completely single and alone. Complete yourself, rather than looking for someone to complete you.

 

Its odd but I had a harder time re-adjusting to being single after having been married and in another LTR, than I had adjusting to being married and in a LTR.

 

I had an easier time adjusting to life in the Marine Corps than I had re-adjusting to civilian life once I retired.

 

:lmao: Once you dance with the Devil, you don't change him! He changes you!

[Chrome Barracuda]

Get them Digits! playa!!!!

 

Life is definitely looking up now. and gunny's right, go out there and experience many different other women. stop thinking about the ex.

[Gunny376]

 

I will say this -- in front of everyone that reads this: regardless of the circumstances, regardless of the woman, I am going to treat them all with the utmost of respect. No games, no "player" for me. This will be their chance to meet the real (and hopefully new and improved) me. I'm out of frigging high school now...I'm no longer an adultolescent.

 

This is the real world, this is real life. My wife is going to miss an amazing opportunity to grab this next world by the nuts and own it. Whoever ends up coming with me will have an amazing ride.

 

Y'all sleep well...my goal is to not get up until dinner tomorrow night.

 

Peace out.

 

Women generally speaking are about ten years more emotionally mature than men.

 

That is to say, that this 23 year old, (its not an absolute rule, just in general) are emotionally the same age as some man whose 33. Women's brains are wired differently, they think differently than men.

 

And women want you to play 'the game' to a certain extent? Not in an ugly manipulative way? But the 'dance of courtship'. They don't really want to know any and everything about you up front. They want you to have an 'air of mystery' about you. They want you to stand out from the last thirty of forty losers with their same old tired @zz game.

 

Women by nature are curious creatures, and are curious about people, things, events, etc. They have inquiring minds and want to know the details.

 

The love anticipation! That's why 'playing' the 'Rubber-band Man" tangent works so well. It requires self control, self discipline, but in the long run? Works!

 

And that's why some young, immature, non-disciplined, uncontrolled 'jerk' gets kicked to the curb quick, fast and in a hurry like!

 

I would encourage you to get Carlos Xuma's e-book, "Secrets of the AlphaMale" and "The Dating Blackbook"

 

 

Some if not a lot of it you already know? But it can never hurt you to your 'game'