Gunny376 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 "Hoorah!" sounds too much like the Army's motivation call! :laugh: Which was an improvement over their previous one of "Cool" The Marines'? is more like "OOOOOOooooooRRRaahhh!" (Said while beating chest!) Short version? "OoooRaahh"! Like the Spartans in the movie "The 300" I'm not for sure and certain? But I believe it originated when some poor SOB of a Marine during WWII fighting in the Pacific, who had the 'piles' was constipated from eating nothing but 'C' rations for a month, and using sand paper for toliet tissue finally was able to have a bowel movement after two weeks of trying? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 The thing that happened this week is that I accepted it was hopeless. You just typed it, but you haven't accepted it yet. I can't tell you to accept it, you have to accept it. Let's focus on the REAL concerns we have...how are we going to find another woman, the real one, the one we can now show the love that we didn't in the past? It is now a problem of practicality...she's gone, we're alone, and we need to start moving. I'm not suggesting a long-term relationship today, but we need to start finding out where these other single people are...some may have been through this, some may have just never settled down. We just need to find them, and start hanging out with them. I have a feeling things will just flow from there. Ahhh! Scotch or Jack Daniel's Logic! Back in tha' day? It was just me, a Elvis decanter of Jim Beam, a Fred Flintstone jelly glass and George Jones! That and an empty apartment in Okinawa, Japan! Elvis? Told me he liked them slow! Jim told me he liked them mellow! Fred? Told me he liked them "old fashioned" And George? He told me? "You can't tell a good one from a bad one! Until you've got them! A good one? Will love you until death! And a bad one? Will make damn sure you go first! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 JHC!! (Just woke up during the middle of the night!) She's in 'guilt and doubt' along with shame over losing her job! Its so not about you lupa! She saw the job loss coming! She knew it was coming! The stress was building, and building! Then "BAM!" RIGHT between the eyes! She's guilty over not holding up her end of the bargain! She's guilty over letting you down! Her only answer, solution was to 'bail' Going from a high profile sales jobs to nothing! It takes a lot mental self image and ego to be in any kind of sales? Being in sales takes a high tole on one's soul, I'm here to tell you! The wash-out rate is almost 99% ~ at least 90% at a minimum. And that's in any kind of sales job! That's your lynch pin lupa! That's your first domino! That and being on her @zz about this and that = domino + domino + domino If it had been me? She would have felt like a sick three-legged cat with a pack of pit bulldogs all over her @zz! Imitidating? No she just never had the metal self discipline to get through something like Havard or the twenty years in the Marine Corps? Neither one of which was nor easy? By any measure! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Hi Lupa Gunny is so right, she is projecting her own insecurities on you, it seems to me that this a fairly common trait of spouses who walk. Certainly some of the things my ex has said, on closer reflection have been about him projecting his faults onto me as a way to justify his leaving. The concept of projection was coined by Frued, google it for more info, I think you will find understanding it benefical to understanding your wifes behaviour. Unfortunately, going about thses boards, it seems plain to see that this is a very common experience in deed. I'm pleased to read that you are going to treat every women you date with respect. Gunny makes a good point that some women do like a "bad boy" the "game player", however, and I can't stress this enough, there are plenty of women out there, myself included, who do not want this at all! Do you really want to attract the type of women who likes to play games? Or would you rather be in a relationship with a women who has the capacity to expres herself and be open and honest about her feelings? Gunny is correct, a women does like to be courted, to be made to feel special, but unless you want the type of women who is dishonest, you are right to have the outlook that you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 The fact that she found you "intimating" make me wonder about myself? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Hi Lupa Gunny is so right, she is projecting her own insecurities on you, it seems to me that this a fairly common trait of spouses who walk. Certainly some of the things my ex has said, on closer reflection have been about him projecting his faults onto me as a way to justify his leaving. The concept of projection was coined by Frued, google it for more info, I think you will find understanding it benefical to understanding your wifes behaviour. Unfortunately, going about thses boards, it seems plain to see that this is a very common experience in deed. I'm pleased to read that you are going to treat every women you date with respect. Gunny makes a good point that some women do like a "bad boy" the "game player", however, and I can't stress this enough, there are plenty of women out there, myself included, who do not want this at all! Do you really want to attract the type of women who likes to play games? Or would you rather be in a relationship with a women who has the capacity to expres herself and be open and honest about her feelings? Gunny is correct, a women does like to be courted, to be made to feel special, but unless you want the type of women who is dishonest, you are right to have the outlook that you do. Its not playing games, but playing the "game" of courtship and attraction! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Its not playing games, but playing the "game" of courtship and attraction! Yes, agree with that part, I'm very tired today, perhaps I'm not expressing myself particularly great! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 One day at a time, folks, I'm getting things pulled back together. My heart hurts, my pride hurts, my sense of self is gone...but I'm getting out into a crowd, I'm talking and meeting. My parents and family are my true allies, my friends are my supporters and confidants. Really, I am going to be ok, it is just that this all doesn't end in a day, you know? When I first started posting here I was nowhere near the bottom...I had no idea how deep the rabbit hole went. This whole realm is lacking logic and order, and my task was to find a way out. When this happens, there has to be a change within, there has to be a reckoning. I cannot make the claim that I know who "I" am now, but I can say with certainty who I am not. All of the sudden, when that happened, this world started making more sense, and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Am I wanting her back? In the back of my mind, of course I am. Am I going to lay down and wait for it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Am I hoping for it to happen? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I'm going to be able to reclaim who I am by little bits every day, and every day I'm going to feel better. My short term goals are sleep (which is beginning to happen with the aid of a pill...I slept almost 12 hours last night, 8 of which were uninterrupted), exercise when I have the energy from sleeping, taking care of this house inside and out, and focus on work. During the evenings I plan on finding the social scene close to where I live, and during the weekends I probably want to start going out in the city. I plan on getting phone numbers, and when I get turned down it will be because their dog died and they aren't in a good mood, not because of something I did or said (lol). I plan on 'dating' at places like Happy Hour or little restaurants where when the meal has ended I can either leave or suggest the next thing to do. I'm not kidding when I say there is nothing to do in this little town...no live music, no main street to walk down and window shop, no museum, no art show...so the during the week dates are going to have to focus on finding the crowd and hanging out there. I'm also going to ask my buddies to be available to bail me out when I need them. Anyway, I plan to start my life back up. The rest of this stuff, dividing property, etc, will be academic. I also want to reiterate -- the people here in this forum have been phenomenally helpful in organizing my brain. To know others have gone through this, to hear how they got out the other side, to be able to bear my soul and feelings without fear of judgment...well, just thank you. In a creepy kind of way, you all are going to be part of me in this rebuild, too. Time to start my day (yes I slept in to almost noon). I'll be chekcing in later. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Watch out world, hide your daughters, here comes Lupa with guns a blazin!!! Good for you man TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 I just found a letter I wrote to her after I had something backfire about a year ago. I had a great idea and actually started working on a prototype and lining up investors. Doing research, I saw that Microsoft acquired a company for SIX BILLION DOLLARS to do the same idea about two weeks beforehand. Obviously the concept was good, but I was too late, and I was crushed. I distinctly remember staying up all night with a bottle of Jack Daniels in the basement. Well, at the end of the night, I wrote her a quick note that said "I'd rather be the poorest of inventors than the richest industrialist king, as long as I have you by my side." ...and she said I never showed affection. Screw that, she betrayed me, she has no loyalty, she gave up. Finding that letter just made it easier to be mad. My parents are coming over today to help me organize this place a little. I'm going to have to rely on them for a while, because even cleaning brings up emotion. They'll get me back on my feet and moving. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I hate finding little things like that that stir me up, kind of sux because i save everything. Having people who care around helps a lot. I think thats why i have such a hard time some times, I don't really have a lot of support locally. Guess thats why i'm on here so much. LOL:laugh: TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 God my parents are here helping me clean the house, and I just f*cking broke down. I don't even know why any more...I guess it all just hurts so much. At least I'll have a really clean house for the first time in 6 months, if not longer. Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 lupa... i posted something similar to your post today... maybe it is because it's Sunday? maybe it is in the stars...whatever IT is...life is sucky today...i can't stop crying either...and i will really flip out of anyone tells me to 'get over it', 'move on', etc... i really just want someone else to understand my pain and cry with me..lol...make sense???? anyway...lupa...hope your clouds go away soon too;) Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Just let it out bro, even at our age, it's OK to lean on Mom&Dad a little, what set you off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 lupa... i posted something similar to your post today... maybe it is because it's Sunday? maybe it is in the stars...whatever IT is...life is sucky today...i can't stop crying either...and i will really flip out of anyone tells me to 'get over it', 'move on', etc... i really just want someone else to understand my pain and cry with me..lol...make sense???? anyway...lupa...hope your clouds go away soon too;)My mom did that..."you need to STOP! Just STOP!" I yelled at her. Then she gave me a hug. This f*cking sucks for everyone. Just let it out bro, even at our age, it's OK to lean on Mom&Dad a little, what set you off?Just cleaning this house that the two of us spent a year and a half getting together. We were supposed to start a family here, instead she just ran away. I don't know, just being here is hard sometimes. I just don't understand how a person can abandon another person who worked so hard for them. Again, I don't hope it works out anymore, but I think I still would take her back. that, though, is because I'm an idiot. ...I need to figure out a way to pass the time tonight. Also, I'm not taking these pills in full dosages any longer, because I'm still dizzy, and when I am tired I'm way more emotional. I am sleeping, though. Also, I hurt my neck and back "Chicken Fighting" at the pool party last night. Can't hold my head upright...have to lean forward or back. lol, at least that part was fun. Link to post Share on other sites
man_of_ability Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 lupa....we're in this together. I am in a similar situation. Still in the marital home with rooms full of furniture missing. It really does suck. I know what you're feeling here. I just added my spouse's name to the house this past January. She's lived here about 3 years. We have recently put a ton of time, energy, and money into completely re-doing the inside of the house to make it "ours". Shortly after that she just walks out leaving me to take care of all 3 cats and have to stare at the memories in the house every day while she just turns her back and starts fresh??? WTF. Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyGal Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Hi Lupa, I want to tell you I been reading your posts for the last few weeks, and I am having a hard time dealing with my breakup, and I read your post, and it lightens my day for awhile, and than I start thinking about him again, and I get down again, But I sure look forward to reading on here, I guess it occupies my mind, and I know someone else out there is going though what I am going though also! Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyGal Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I hate finding little things like that that stir me up, kind of sux because i save everything. Having people who care around helps a lot. I think thats why i have such a hard time some times, I don't really have a lot of support locally. Guess thats why i'm on here so much. LOL:laugh: TOJAZ Tojaz I feel the sameway as you, theres no local support, and I come on here alot to get support from you all! Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Your right, it does suck. I know I'm gonna be drinking tonight. Check your PM to find out why but basicly I've lost my mind. At least your ma was there for you bro, you needed that. just keep post ing if it helps man, sometimes ranting and raving is all that gives me a break. It's not over until it's over man, sometimes knowing that helps and sometimes it hurts, depends on your state of mind! For me today it helped, now it hurts. Tojaz My mom did that..."you need to STOP! Just STOP!" I yelled at her. Then she gave me a hug. This f*cking sucks for everyone. Just cleaning this house that the two of us spent a year and a half getting together. We were supposed to start a family here, instead she just ran away. I don't know, just being here is hard sometimes. I just don't understand how a person can abandon another person who worked so hard for them. Again, I don't hope it works out anymore, but I think I still would take her back. that, though, is because I'm an idiot. ...I need to figure out a way to pass the time tonight. Also, I'm not taking these pills in full dosages any longer, because I'm still dizzy, and when I am tired I'm way more emotional. I am sleeping, though. Also, I hurt my neck and back "Chicken Fighting" at the pool party last night. Can't hold my head upright...have to lean forward or back. lol, at least that part was fun. Link to post Share on other sites
man_of_ability Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Why don't they have local support groups for these situations? It would be a way to meet people locally who are going through something similar. I have looked and there's nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 lupa....we're in this together. I am in a similar situation. Still in the marital home with rooms full of furniture missing. It really does suck. I know what you're feeling here. I just added my spouse's name to the house this past January. She's lived here about 3 years. We have recently put a ton of time, energy, and money into completely re-doing the inside of the house to make it "ours". Shortly after that she just walks out leaving me to take care of all 3 cats and have to stare at the memories in the house every day while she just turns her back and starts fresh??? WTF. I know this too! My ex and I just bought a new house 1 and half years ago, totally redid it, had a brand new fitted kitchen, with underfloor heating, fully tiled, new integrated appliances etc 2 weeks before he started messing me about! Unbelievable isn't it?! Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 As sad as it is to admit, i don't know how i would have coped if I hadn't found LS and the friends I've made here, I see your new, have you started a thread yet? TOJAZ Tojaz I feel the sameway as you, theres no local support, and I come on here alot to get support from you all! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Also, I hurt my neck and back "Chicken Fighting" at the pool party last night. Can't hold my head upright...have to lean forward or back. lol, at least that part was fun. Lupa, please try to remember you are not 22 anymore! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Why don't they have local support groups for these situations? It would be a way to meet people locally who are going through something similar. I have looked and there's nothing. I believe you can get divorce care classes in the states? PWXS3 talks about them in his posts. Also, he attends a church, so maybe through them? Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I've looked, but could not find anything in my area. IC helps a lot. I believe you can get divorce care classes in the states? PWXS3 talks about them in his posts. Also, he attends a church, so maybe through them? Link to post Share on other sites
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