Apart and shaken

[Gunny376]

...Lupa if your so tired of her bull$hit why dont you file???

 

Why not end things yourself. she's gonna stall for as long as you let her because she's a cake eater and if this things she got with the OM dont work out it gives her a opening to come back. Your her safety net so to speak.

 

So file and get it over with!

 

I'm with you CB!

 

But damn!

 

Everytime I read your post?

 

I feel like Special Forces, SS, Shock-Troops, Navy SEALS..........................

 

Then I think of the X!

 

 

And I think .............................

 

 

Damned right! :mad: :mad:

[Chrome Barracuda]

LOL im just being honest because a cheating woman would rather sit on her back and get pumped out by dicks in the hood by then not doing the right thing, because they have no self worth or honor. So sometimes you gotta take the initiative. It's not always about feeling like the bad guy.

 

It's about self respect and self preservation.

 

Lupa needs to take the reigns and drive this thing until the wheels fall off.

 

I'm trying to educate these young men and women from cheating spouses and girlfriends and or boyfriends. It's not the time to be in shock or caught up in emotions. Set that aside and focus on what needs to be done.

[Gunny376]

I hear you CB! And I hear Lakeside's words to?

 

And these words are true!

 

Only a warriors words are true!

 

Only a warrior is tested through!

 

Only a warrior can be brought to his knees!

 

By a simple woman he was in love with thee!

[LisaUk]

Oh! Oh! Oh! (In my best Sam Kinison voice) :eek:

 

That's what it comes down to! :mad:

 

I'm a freaking sack!

 

Not even a smooth flour sack!

 

But a coarse grain sack to hold feed corn!

 

To feed cows, horses, and HOGS!

 

A freaking gunny sack!

 

Twenty plus years in the Marine Corps and all I am is a sad freaking gunny sack to hold feed for horses, cows, and freaking hogs!

 

Just kidding! I''m not really PO'd ~ Just that it wasn't easy to come by.

 

Most people don't join the military, and of the ones that do?

 

Don't join the Marines!

 

Of the ones that do? 50% are discharged within one year of signing the enlistment papers.

 

Of the other 50%, most don't make it their first enlistment ~ its that demanding!

 

Of the the ones that do complete their first enlistment? Most don't re-enlist.

 

Of those that do? Most don't re-enlist a second time?

 

Of those that do? Most don't re-enlist a third time!

 

Statistically? Only one-half of a man out of 100 that went to Marine boot camp make it to twenty years in the Marine Corps.

 

Only six percent of all Marines obtain the rank of Gunny!

 

There are only 999 Marine Sergeant Majors out of over 200,000 Marines.

 

There are only 600 full bird colonels in the Marines.

 

So its a point of pride!

 

That I ain't no freaking feed corn sack!

 

BTW?

 

marines? Should always be spelled Marines, because their not some type of 'marine' life! They're Marines, that gave their lives for our freedom, died with honor, and gave the last full measure!

 

"All gave some! Some gave their all!"

 

You should be d**m proud, we are all grateful to people like you, truly! I saw a post from you on another thread about you putting your BF's body into a bodybag in Baruit (SP), I'm so sorry. Us civillians do have an idea of what you servicemen and women go through, give up, witness, have to deal with and have to live with (PTSD), I can't tell you what that means to the rest of us. Thank you.

[Gunny376]

You should be d**m proud, we are all grateful to people like you, truly! I saw a post from you on another thread about you putting your BF's body into a bodybag in Beruit (SP), I'm so sorry. Us civilians do have an idea of what you servicemen and women go through, give up, witness, have to deal with and have to live with (PTSD), I can't tell you what that means to the rest of us. Thank you.

 

 

Everyrtime I see a post by you? The Dobbie Brother's song "Sweet Melissa" springs in my head and I've renewed hope in women!

 

You bring a bighter day to peoples lives!!

 

Just about when I given up!

 

You give the precious gift of hope!

[spr8ted]

Everyrtime I see a post by you? The Dobbie Brother's song "Sweet Melissa" springs in my head and I've renewed hope in women!

 

I think you mean the Allman Brothers....

[Gunny376]

Everyrtime I see a post by you? The Dobbie Brother's song "Sweet Melissa" springs in my head and I've renewed hope in women!

 

I think you mean the Allman Brothers....

 

 

IN THE light of a new day? DAMN IF YOUR NOT RIGHT!

 

"WHERE'S THE RUM? WHY IS THERE NEVER ANY RUM?"

[lupa]

The reason I have not yet filed is purely financial. My lawyer said it will cost me more if I take the initiative. Absolute garbage the way the system is set up.

 

Garbage. She walked, she should really get nothing.

 

Garbage.

 

we'll see, I think the gloves have come off now. We'll see.

[lupa]

Just had a long convo with the soon to be ex. I've come to the conclusion that I am done, even done doing the "180" way of communication or anything like that. I am only looking out for my personal sanity now.

 

She is (supposedly) coming over on Monday night to discuss bills, finances, and possessions. I'm fine with that. I'm putting nothing, nothing, down in writing, this is just where I float some test balloons to see where she stands. She can take whatever notes she wants and then confer with her lawyer. I, truly, do not want the lawyers to have the first conversation, because mine is $150/hr or something, and needs a minimum retainer of like $1500 to even begin.

 

I'd like to propose that she gets somewhere around 33% and work from there. The major asset is the house, and I have to decide if I want to sell or not. I do, but not in this market. We also fought again about the cats.

 

I like the one a lot, but he was a gift for her birthday and is an outdoor cat now in this neighborhood. I don't know where I am going, but chances are I'm not going to end up somewhere with a yard, or at least, not yet.

 

He has destroyed so much furniture, etc, until we let him roam free, and I'm not going through that again. She keeps saying I should keep him, but I'm not going to. Too bad.

 

I do like him.

 

The other cat can go f*ck himself, I didn't want him at all, and he's really at the root of a lot of our original arguments. Because of him, the other one would act up, and she would never clean up behind him. The downward spiral started right about then, I'm not lying. I would be so annoyed while I had to clean up behind the freaking cats that I never wanted. Funny how a little thing that isn't addressed can just fester and grow.

 

Anyway, I'm going to propose that I just cut her a check (low) and say see ya. See if we can fast-track this whole deal. There is nothing about this woman to love any more, and each day the guilt I feel turns into disgust. Funny how that works.

 

there is a weird strength coming back, I don't know what it is made out of. I sometimes think I just have had enough, and sometimes I think that I was unhappy for so long but didn't realize it. My friends keep being awesome to me and for me, and that is a source of power, same with my family.

 

Didn't hurt that I ran into the ex that I really liked all those years. It also didn't hurt that she invited to stay over her place downtown on weds.

 

For all my flaws, I'm a good person who never hit or abused her, tried to provide, didn't understand how to communicate (who does at first?), and wanted the best. I guess she just can't see that in me, and I guess this is for the best.

 

I'm going to be happy with my family some day, they just aren't going to look like what I thought they would.

 

What a weird that thought is.

[LisaUk]

Everyrtime I see a post by you? The Dobbie Brother's song "Sweet Melissa" springs in my head and I've renewed hope in women!

 

You bring a bighter day to peoples lives!!

 

Just about when I given up!

 

You give the precious gift of hope!

 

*Blushes* Thank you Gunny, that was such a nice thing for you to say to me.

[seibert253]

Always darkest right before the light. Lupa if you can come to an agreement, write the check and be done.

Yeah it will cost you some bank, but Oh you'll feel so much better when it's done.

Yeah I'd be spending some Wednesday's with the other lady. F#ck, you are the man!

 

Gunny; no rum, Jim Bean or top shelf vodka. Does the trick for me.

 

Peace,

[Gunny376]

Always darkest right before the light. Lupa if you can come to an agreement, write the check and be done.

Yeah it will cost you some bank, but Oh you'll feel so much better when it's done.

Yeah I'd be spending some Wednesday's with the other lady. F#ck, you are the man!

 

Gunny; no rum, Jim Bean or top shelf vodka. Does the trick for me.

 

Peace,

 

When your going through the Big "D" ~ even after the ink is dried on "tha' papers" a year or two down the road.

 

Your having a Disneyland type day, the sun is shinning, the bluebirds are singing, everything is right with the world.

 

And then BAM! Out of no where as if you had just been hit head on by a Mack Truck?

 

You find yourself stumbling and fumbling in the nearest liquor store telling the store clerk to just give you two fifth of anything, you really don't give a damn.

[Gunny376]

Just had a long convo with the soon to be ex. I've come to the conclusion that I am done, even done doing the "180" way of communication or anything like that. I am only looking out for my personal sanity now.

 

She is (supposedly) coming over on Monday night to discuss bills, finances, and possessions. I'm fine with that. I'm putting nothing, nothing, down in writing, this is just where I float some test balloons to see where she stands. She can take whatever notes she wants and then confer with her lawyer. I, truly, do not want the lawyers to have the first conversation, because mine is $150/hr or something, and needs a minimum retainer of like $1500 to even begin.

 

I'd like to propose that she gets somewhere around 33% and work from there. The major asset is the house, and I have to decide if I want to sell or not. I do, but not in this market. We also fought again about the cats.

 

I like the one a lot, but he was a gift for her birthday and is an outdoor cat now in this neighborhood. I don't know where I am going, but chances are I'm not going to end up somewhere with a yard, or at least, not yet.

 

He has destroyed so much furniture, etc, until we let him roam free, and I'm not going through that again. She keeps saying I should keep him, but I'm not going to. Too bad.

 

I do like him.

 

The other cat can go f*ck himself, I didn't want him at all, and he's really at the root of a lot of our original arguments. Because of him, the other one would act up, and she would never clean up behind him. The downward spiral started right about then, I'm not lying. I would be so annoyed while I had to clean up behind the freaking cats that I never wanted. Funny how a little thing that isn't addressed can just fester and grow.

 

Anyway, I'm going to propose that I just cut her a check (low) and say see ya. See if we can fast-track this whole deal. There is nothing about this woman to love any more, and each day the guilt I feel turns into disgust. Funny how that works.

 

there is a weird strength coming back, I don't know what it is made out of. I sometimes think I just have had enough, and sometimes I think that I was unhappy for so long but didn't realize it. My friends keep being awesome to me and for me, and that is a source of power, same with my family.

 

Didn't hurt that I ran into the ex that I really liked all those years. It also didn't hurt that she invited to stay over her place downtown on weds.

 

For all my flaws, I'm a good person who never hit or abused her, tried to provide, didn't understand how to communicate (who does at first?), and wanted the best. I guess she just can't see that in me, and I guess this is for the best.

 

I'm going to be happy with my family some day, they just aren't going to look like what I thought they would.

 

What a weird that thought is.

 

When you first posted and this thread first begin, you struck me of the leadership type, (having been exposed to so many over the course of the years in the Marines ~ truly inspirational and true leaders)

 

They don't generally let professional and personal setbacks hold them back for much than a split second. They get knocked down they get up again and keep fighting the good fight.

 

As I've already stated you don't strike me as the type that sits around and waits for things to happen ~ but rather of the type that makes things happen.

 

As such, I didn't see you waiting around for very long for the STBXW to come back around, before you moved on to bigger and better.

 

Not really a cat person ~ more of a dog person. The ones I like the best? Daschunds. I saw one yesterday ~ a long hair ~ that is calico colored.

Beautiful!

 

I like daschunds because they make good companions, their the "clowns" of the dog family, and they're very devoted.

 

A lot of people make fun of 'wiener-dogs' but they're actually very ferocious. They were breed to go toe to toe with badgers in badger holes!

[LisaUk]

When you first posted and this thread first begin, you struck me of the leadership type, (having been exposed to so many over the course of the years in the Marines ~ truly inspirational and true leaders)

 

They don't generally let professional and personal setbacks hold them back for much than a split second. They get knocked down they get up again and keep fighting the good fight.

 

As I've already stated you don't strike me as the type that sits around and waits for things to happen ~ but rather of the type that makes things happen.

 

As such, I didn't see you waiting around for very long for the STBXW to come back around, before you moved on to bigger and better.

 

Not really a cat person ~ more of a dog person. The ones I like the best? Daschunds. I saw one yesterday ~ a long hair ~ that is calico colored.

Beautiful!

 

I like daschunds because they make good companions, their the "clowns" of the dog family, and they're very devoted.

 

A lot of people make fun of 'wiener-dogs' but they're actually very ferocious. They were breed to go toe to toe with badgers in badger holes!

 

We call them sausage dogs! They can be vicous little things I know! I have an image Gunny, a big burly 52 old Marine with a little sausage dog on a lead! Ahh. LOL Just kidding!

[tojaz]

A lot of people make fun of 'wiener-dogs' but they're actually very ferocious. They were breed to go toe to toe with badgers in badger holes!

 

My next door neighbor has a weiner dog. The thing is about the size of my shoe but thinks it's a grizzly bear. I used to have a beautiful bull mastiff, now thats a DOG!! WOOF!!

[lupa]

I plan on getting a border collie some day...supposed to be the smartest dogs out there.

 

I don't know what the hell came over me just now, but I was playing golf with my dad -- he's out of the hospital. (I lost the second round of the championship...guy shot the round of his life). Dad was moving slow this morning, they put him on beta blockers for the short term. well, I was real concerned about him, but shot a 36 (even par) on the front nine. We stopped and ate, the color came back into his face, we get to the back nine, and proceed to have a game going! He was a whole new person, moving with energy, hitting some great shots, looking like normal, and it was great. I was still playing well, but I started thinking about what is coming over the next few days, and I guess not worrying about my dad anymore let me worry about my whole bullsh*t situation again.

 

To make a long story short, I just cried when I got back in my house. My chest had that heavy weight feeling throughout the back nine (I ended up shooting 74, 2 over par) and it kept getting worse as I drove home. I guess because driving home after golf always used to start the day together, and I am nostalgic for all that.

 

I just can't wrap my head around how she thinks I made her unhappy. That still hurts. I know I'm the only thing in her life -- this relationship is the only thing in her life -- that she has control over, but c'mon, running from it isn't the answer!

 

I know, I know. I just think this is a backslide for a little bit. I have a lot of good things going, but shaking this is going to take a long time.

 

So yeah, I cried. Twenty seconds, a couple of wails, and one hearty "F*CK!" Then I was done.

 

Gonna do laundry, maybe go for a run, and then there is a chance I might catch a late dinner with the ex. Some friends are going to a restaurant that she and I talked about (Ethiopian food, you gotta try it -- AWESOME) and I texted asking if she would be up for it. She works today, though, so that might be tough. She said she'd let me know if she could get out early.

 

I'm so mixed up in my head -- I really like the ex, and I have for years, but i was committed to a lifetime with my wife. I know she is the one screwing this all up, and rationally I am fine with the situation. Emotionally, however, this is just going to be so freaking hard.

 

Bleh.

 

I guess I'll just turn on some tv's for background noise, do my laundry, and prepare myself for the week. What a world, what a world...

[lupa]

The ex juest texted: "I get out of work early, can I come out and play?"

 

 

...

 

 

I just have to have a little patience, take my time, and understand that I don't have to fix this whole thing today. We do have some time, and I think I just have to keep the image in my head of the old bull sitting on top of the hill, surveying the world and letting everyone come to him.

 

I have to be the old bull, the wise bull.

 

I can do this, and you guys always help. I find myself thinking about stuff said here when I'm out in the world.

 

Thank you all...

[LisaUk]

Hey Lupa, don't beat yourself up we all backslide. You have this evening to look forward to now as well, I'm so jealous. I want someone (read my ex).

[lupa]

Hey Lupa, don't beat yourself up we all backslide. You have this evening to look forward to now as well, I'm so jealous. I want someone (read my ex).

I got lucky, there's nothing more than that...and if you remember, I almost didn't walk up to her because I'm a wuss!

 

I'm sure you're going to find yourself someone who deserves someone as caring as you...I think the only way is to get out there and see who that is.

 

I'd take you out if I were there...

[LisaUk]

I got lucky, there's nothing more than that...and if you remember, I almost didn't walk up to her because I'm a wuss!

 

I'm sure you're going to find yourself someone who deserves someone as caring as you...I think the only way is to get out there and see who that is.

 

I'd take you out if I were there...

 

Well that's nice.

 

I'm so pathetic though, I hope I will meet someone in time, but right now, I just want my ex, no one else, just him. The way he was though, before all this, not how he is now.

 

Anyone got a time machine? Oh, and a cure for CP?

[tojaz]

 

I'm so mixed up in my head -- I really like the ex, and I have for years, but i was committed to a lifetime with my wife. I know she is the one screwing this all up, and rationally I am fine with the situation. Emotionally, however, this is just going to be so freaking hard. .

 

The Emotional part is the one that will do the most damage. Thats why I said take it slow and be sure. Once the line is crossed, it's hard to go back and someones gonna get hurt.

 

The ex juest texted: "I get out of work early, can I come out and play?"

 

 

...

 

 

I just have to have a little patience, take my time, and understand that I don't have to fix this whole thing today. We do have some time, and I think I just have to keep the image in my head of the old bull sitting on top of the hill, surveying the world and letting everyone come to him.

I have to be the old bull, the wise bull.

 

I can do this, and you guys always help. I find myself thinking about stuff said here when I'm out in the world.

 

Thank you all...

Sounds like a good healthy strategy Lupa, stick to it.

TOJAZ

[lupa]

Yeah...take it slow.

 

She does give me something to look forward to right now. What a strange thought-- three months ago I would have never pictured myself here...

 

I swear half the time I feel like I am going to wake up from this dream.

[tojaz]

Yeah...take it slow.

 

She does give me something to look forward to right now. What a strange thought-- three months ago I would have never pictured myself here...

 

I swear half the time I feel like I am going to wake up from this dream.

 

At least it's more of a dream and less of a nightmare.

[lupa]

At least it's more of a dream and less of a nightmare.

Touché.

 

It is just crazy.

[tojaz]

Touché.

 

It is just crazy.

 

It will probably get crazier as time goes on. Just keep that positive mindset and you'll be fine.

TOJAZ