Apart and shaken

[lupa]

Well, I redid the spousal support calculation and realized something...I was WAY low on my initial estimate. WAY low.

 

So, I broke down and talked to the lawyer today. Just frigging great. I have to pay him to make sure I don't overpay her. What a crock.

 

Oh! Oh! Good story...the girlfriend (yes I decided to call her that now) missed meeting the wife by about 15 minutes this morning. The wife was supposed to come over to get some paperwork, and she was early. Fortunately the gf had left a little earlier than we talked about, and I was on my way out the door.

 

The poor wifey looked miserable today. Just awful, and I feel bad for her. How lame is that? I care about her still so much that I feel bad that she doesn't look good...like she looks unhappy.

 

I don't know, I'm not the one in charge of this..she had every opportunity to stop it along the way.

 

Anyway, I'm sure she figured something was up with all the pots out from us cooking lobster last night, two wine glasses in the sink, two coasters out, two plates, two...etc, etc. The dishwasher was running, so it wasn't like I did this on purpose.

 

Anyway, she was supposed to call me today when she was done with her meeting with her lawyer, I haven't heard. I'm sure she's all pissed off now...so I decided to get me a lawyer. I finally pulled the trigger because of that.

 

I hate this whole thing so much...I guess I'll never be able to understand where my wife went and where this two-headed alien psycho hose beast came from.

 

My new/old/ex/current girlfriend and I are...just so nice together. I'm wondering how that is going to go...

 

[LisaUk]

Hi Lupa

 

Pleased to hear you got a lawyer, I think that is very wise, espically if she suspects the GF. I know she chose to leave, but she probably won't be too happy you got involved with someone else so quickly.

[Chrome Barracuda]

About F-ing time!!! congrats on getting a lawyer.

 

And lupa why are you trying to start drama? Your trying to accidently cause the stbx wife and the new girl to inadvertnly meet? Come on man, have more tact. Be discreet with yours, there's no need to rub it in her face. as hilarious as it may seems. lol.

 

Just be humble about it. get out of the marriage and have your dignity intact.

[lupa]

About F-ing time!!! congrats on getting a lawyer.

 

And lupa why are you trying to start drama? Your trying to accidently cause the stbx wife and the new girl to inadvertnly meet? Come on man, have more tact. Be discreet with yours, there's no need to rub it in her face. as hilarious as it may seems. lol.

 

Just be humble about it. get out of the marriage and have your dignity intact.

I didn't really mean to have them come so close together, but realistically, if the wife has a brain in her head (and I used to think she did), she's figured it out by now.

 

There are just too many indications, not the least of which are the dual wine glasses sitting in the kitchen sink that are hand-wash only...I haven't gotten to them yet. There are things around here that should clue her in.

 

Right now I'm just friggin pissed off because the STBX won't return a phone call to discuss things like adults. Why does that matter to me? Because I think we should have respect for each other...but I guess I'm wrong.

 

I can't understand who I'm dealing with...I'm a smart guy, pretty accomplished, and I can't figure it out. A random friend who is only tangentially involved with the situation, but who has known my wife and I for a few years even said to me on the phone today..."I have no idea where [name] went. It is amazing."

 

I spent the night at the gf's apartment last night, and we didn't even have sex! I helped her hang curtains, put together a tv stand, and then we watched part of a movie as she fell asleep in my arms. Then we went to bed...

 

...she's basically, well, I wonder if I was supposed to be with her this whole time.

 

I'm a headcase today. Really I am.

 

I should cut the grass or something.

[lupa]

F*cking b*tch wants $43000 from me. We've been married 3.5 years, and she wants $43,000.00.

 

To wit: All of her clothing and shoes that were still here in closets are in the front yard. My parents convinced me to not toss her furniture out there, too, but I'm not too convinced that wouldn't be very cathartic. Next step would be christmas decorations and other stuff.

 

Oop! mom and dad are here!

[tojaz]

F*cking b*tch wants $43000 from me. We've been married 3.5 years, and she wants $43,000.00.

 

To wit: All of her clothing and shoes that were still here in closets are in the front yard. My parents convinced me to not toss her furniture out there, too, but I'm not too convinced that wouldn't be very cathartic. Next step would be christmas decorations and other stuff.

 

Oop! mom and dad are here!

 

What does your lawyer say about that number?

[lupa]

What does your lawyer say about that number?

we have an appointment scheduled for friday. I'm sure I'll be calling him on monday, though.

 

My mom went outside and picked up all her sh*t, bagged it in white garbage bags, put it in the garage.

 

I'm sure it looked cool for a little while, all of her stuff in the front yard. I feel bad for reacting so badly, but my dear lord, all i ever did was give her everything that she wanted. I guess I created a monster.

 

I told her to get the cats, she said she'd have to put the one in the pound...I told her they'd euthanize her birthday present, then asked if she was cold enough to let that happen. No response.

 

I'm going to Lowe's, changing all the locks on the house. B*tch isn't getting in without my permission, now.

 

$43K. F*ck me...the simple fact that she'd even give me that is so enraging. I just hope I don't blow it with the gf through all of this. I did call her when I was crazy earlier...bad move, I know...but she was very supportive. She was incredulous that the wife hose beast was asking for so much, but really, does she need to be exposed to this drama? I already know the answer, and it is no.

 

But! But! If she can hold out for the short term, then i'll have the acid test showing that she can be long term...seriously, if she can handle this, we could probably handle anything together.

 

Yes, I'm out of control, but it is a very elegant sort of disaster. Like watching that busload of nuns I mentioned before, go plummeting off a cliff.

 

Subtle

 

Epic

[tojaz]

we have an appointment scheduled for friday. I'm sure I'll be calling him on monday, though.

 

My mom went outside and picked up all her sh*t, bagged it in white garbage bags, put it in the garage.

 

I'm sure it looked cool for a little while, all of her stuff in the front yard. I feel bad for reacting so badly, but my dear lord, all i ever did was give her everything that she wanted. I guess I created a monster.

 

I told her to get the cats, she said she'd have to put the one in the pound...I told her they'd euthanize her birthday present, then asked if she was cold enough to let that happen. No response.

 

I'm going to Lowe's, changing all the locks on the house. B*tch isn't getting in without my permission, now.

 

$43K. F*ck me...the simple fact that she'd even give me that is so enraging. I just hope I don't blow it with the gf through all of this. I did call her when I was crazy earlier...bad move, I know...but she was very supportive. She was incredulous that the wife hose beast was asking for so much, but really, does she need to be exposed to this drama? I already know the answer, and it is no.

 

But! But! If she can hold out for the short term, then i'll have the acid test showing that she can be long term...seriously, if she can handle this, we could probably handle anything together.

 

Yes, I'm out of control, but it is a very elegant sort of disaster. Like watching that busload of nuns I mentioned before, go plummeting off a cliff.

 

Subtle

 

Epic

 

Just keep your head and you'll be alright. No more throwing sh*t in the yard. Don't sink that low man.

[lupa]

So I went out, hung out at a picnic for awhile. Folks there know me and the wife hose beast, and they were all stunned...just stunned...that she would ask for that much.

 

I'm insulted that she even gave me that number, and quite frankly, that was all I needed to stop feeling bad about the divorce.

 

My god...I married a child! Would that I could walk up to her parents and say, "Really? Really you think she deserves this money? THIS is the child you raised? Good job with all that!"

 

Sheesh.

 

I just don't even know what to think anymore.

 

I know the rest of my life will be poisoned by this ugliness...I don't know how to get around that.

 

so sad. She is dead to me now.

[Gunny376]

Not to belittle your latest post, but I figure my divorce/marriage cost me around somewhere between a 1/3 to a 1/4 of hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of the years!

 

That's over a 1/3 to 1/4 of a million!

 

Get maried again?

 

Yea right!

 

See you at the Chapel!

 

Noon sharp!

 

One @zz raping per life is enough!

[LisaUk]

Lupa, I think it depends on what the number is based on? Is it based on the value of the equity in your house and the furnitute, cars etc. Where has she got the number from? Talk to your lawyer, see what he thinks is reasonable. I get your point though, she walked!

[delajoonal]

lupa...

in california the courts go off of length of marriage, if married under 10 years,, alimony is only half that time, meaning, 1.5 years ...BUT that is only if she has NO marketable skills and no disabilities etc.

 

i know that was an outrageous request from her..but don't worry lupa, IT won't happen...you are considered short term marriage, and if she Is not disabled then the judge will make her go to occupational something or other.LOL..not sure what they call it..and the alimony will only last as long as it takes for her to get occupationally rehabiltated.

 

but the short term marriage thing is where YOU got her..in any state...

 

it will be OK

[lupa]

lupa...

in california the courts go off of length of marriage, if married under 10 years,, alimony is only half that time, meaning, 1.5 years ...BUT that is only if she has NO marketable skills and no disabilities etc.

 

i know that was an outrageous request from her..but don't worry lupa, IT won't happen...you are considered short term marriage, and if she Is not disabled then the judge will make her go to occupational something or other.LOL..not sure what they call it..and the alimony will only last as long as it takes for her to get occupationally rehabiltated.

 

but the short term marriage thing is where YOU got her..in any state...

 

it will be OK

I'm pretty sure she is disabled...mentally.

 

I know she isn't going to get anywhere near that, but we had talked about being reasonable and working together...then she goes and does this. I'm done, entirely, and I swear to god if there is a way I can make this difficult for her, I'm going to.

 

Currently, there is no way into this house except through the garage door...and the code is changed. That is all.

[Auroracoladybug]

hey lupa my H said he wanted everything to be amicable and civil that he was going to help me while we were separated, then he went into his anger tyraids, then he swore everything off on me, then he said I will only get $100/month and all I wanted him for was a paycheck...will be looking tomorrow for that lawyer again...I still can't believe that I am in this position...hell he just called and asked what time I would be off of work...

[Auroracoladybug]

I need to add the call was so I can get the baby...oh and the daycare provider is sick tomorrow as well (and she called both of us because she knows what is going on) so I got my dad to watch...J didn't offer...and the last two times that the baby is sick I have taken off...I do everything for that boy (register him for extra things like gymnastics, swimming lessons, find daycare twice...etc)

[lupa]

hey lupa my H said he wanted everything to be amicable and civil that he was going to help me while we were separated, then he went into his anger tyraids, then he swore everything off on me, then he said I will only get $100/month and all I wanted him for was a paycheck...will be looking tomorrow for that lawyer again...I still can't believe that I am in this position...hell he just called and asked what time I would be off of work...

I now believe that they have to get mad at us, even though there is nothing to be mad about, so that they can live with themselves.

[tojaz]

I now believe that they have to get mad at us, even though there is nothing to be mad about, so that they can live with themselves.

 

I've witnessed this myself!

[broken hearted]

I now believe that they have to get mad at us, even though there is nothing to be mad about, so that they can live with themselves.

 

This is VERY VERY VERY true!!!!

[tojaz]

I now believe that they have to get mad at us, even though there is nothing to be mad about, so that they can live with themselves.

 

I've witnessed this myself!

 

This is VERY VERY VERY true!!!!

 

Just remember, it's inevitable that eventually they see the truth and have to live with that and what they have done, for the rest of their life.

TOJAZ

[2.50 a gallon]

lupa

 

$43,000? Let's review. 3.5 years of marriage, that comes out to a little over $1,000 a month.

 

I think she is getting her estimate from the High Gold Diggers Bluebook. Who says she is entitled to High Bluebook? Does she have popup headlights? From what you have described it should be more like Low Gold Diggers Bluebook. Also didn't she began pulling out of the marriage about 6 months ago? That is 6 months you can knock off there. Also what about depreciation?

[lupa]

lupa

 

$43,000? Let's review. 3.5 years of marriage, that comes out to a little over $1,000 a month.

 

I think she is getting her estimate from the High Gold Diggers Bluebook. Who says she is entitled to High Bluebook? Does she have popup headlights? From what you have described it should be more like Low Gold Diggers Bluebook. Also didn't she began pulling out of the marriage about 6 months ago? That is 6 months you can knock off there. Also what about depreciation?

You mean like how her ass got fat from all the Mrs Field's Frozen Fishtsticks?

[Chrome Barracuda]

Why are you letting this get you angry L? You should be laughing aint no judge in his right mind gonna grant that insane amount for such a short marriage!

 

It's funny. Dont take things personally her madness has nothing to do with you. And yes anger comes from the WS because they use it to mask their inadequacies. but I thought you knew that by now reading all this stuff on this board for a long time. it's a pattern....

 

Laugh and be happy lupa. it's coming to a end. be resolved to finish it.

[lupa]

Why are you letting this get you angry L? You should be laughing aint no judge in his right mind gonna grant that insane amount for such a short marriage!

 

It's funny. Dont take things personally her madness has nothing to do with you. And yes anger comes from the WS because they use it to mask their inadequacies. but I thought you knew that by now reading all this stuff on this board for a long time. it's a pattern....

 

Laugh and be happy lupa. it's coming to a end. be resolved to finish it.

I'm mad because of all the turmoil she is causing me and my family. I work at my family's engineering company...dad started it 30 some years ago, we do well. Mom is here, sister runs a division out of another city, we are expanding, etc, and THE COMPANY GOT SUBPOENAED.

 

The b*tch's lawyer has the gall to accuse us of hiding money, when all my family ever did was pay for sh*t my wife's family couldn't afford...like the Princess Wedding she wanted. Her family was Fire Hall wedding, mine posted up another $20K without them knowing so we could have it at the country club. Nothing was ever said.

 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 

I know, I know, no judge would ever award this, but I thought we were going to be reasonable people about everything. How wrong I was there, huh? She could have proposed $25K, and I would have said sure.

 

She is on crack.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Yeah but lupa. is the company even owned by you, it's a family started business, which means that it's family owned and even though you work there, you dont really own it. a small percentage maybe because your family. but by extension of marriage, in some states she wouldnt be entitled to much anyways'. L I know you mad about the money.

 

You worked for so hard to make it, and come to find out she's being selfish and wants be unreasonable and take what isnt rightfully hers when she's contributed nothing.

 

Relax L dont let it get to you, the mintue you build thicker skin you could just laugh it off. She does these things probably specifically to get a rise outta you. You gotta show her you wont back down. but dont be so forcefull about it. Kinda like force without movement. intent without physical movement.

 

You gotta be beyond that petty crap. detach from it.

[lupa]

Holy crap you sound either like Yoda or Bruce Lee...and you are right in either case.

 

I was just mad that we could have gotten through all this without lawyers and courts and wasted time and energy, but instead she went and got greedy.

 

Each day that passes I see a side of this thing, this beast, that I'm surprised I missed in the first go around, and now it is making me question my own ability to judge people.

 

I offered a way to get to the finish line without any of this, and she is just being a c*nt.