seibert253 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Ok. Will do. I'll go against what I want to do. I'm George Costanza...my instincts have been wrong in every case so far, so like I said, I'm in your hands now. lol. I really do hate this all so much, but again, thanks for the help, people. So you really are Art Vandelay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 So you really are Art Vandelay. ...and you want to be my latex salesman!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 ...nothing from her yet. In wait mode. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 ...nothing from her yet. In wait mode. Don't wait by the phone man, It'll drive you insane. Get out and get it off your mind. I still literally jump out of my skin and run to my cell whenever it goes off. I think I'm back sliding today, really feel it for some reason. Don't let it happen to you man, Stay Strong it's working. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Sufferin_Succotash Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I'm George Costanza... Did you ever see the episode where he did everything opposite of his instincts? He needed up going on a great run... until he screwed it up by following his instincts again. Food for thought. Not saying you don't know what you are doing, but sometimes we are WAY to close to see what's right. Good Luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Don't wait by the phone man, It'll drive you insane. Get out and get it off your mind. I still literally jump out of my skin and run to my cell whenever it goes off. I think I'm back sliding today, really feel it for some reason. Don't let it happen to you man, Stay Strong it's working. TOJAZ Sometimes I wonder if it is working. Playing golf, thinking less and less about it. This is just so draining. You stay strong, too, man. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 ...nothing from her yet. In wait mode. Wow, I would have put money on it, maybe she's still playing hard ball? OK, go ahead and text her, has been almost 24 hours? Just be brief though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 I dont even know what to say now. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Just say thanks for letting me know about the cats. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I always feel like something of an imposter when I post on the sep/div board because I've never gone through one. But I don't see the value in responding to a silly text about the cats. I'd be inclined to ignore it; what's to be gained by replying? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Parris Island doesn't have any Artillery, they do have five rifle ranges (last time I was there) a pistol range, and a grenade range. I can't imagine what you heard thirteen miles away? Of course its been years since I was stationed there? How did you like the sand fleas? Next time your out and about, if your rub yourself down with a 50/50 mixture or rubbing alcohol and Avon Skin So Soft they will leave you alone. Although this time of year, they're not as bad as when their swarming in the springtime. I wouldn't text nor call the DW, the longer you can hold out the better off you. Your NC is the reason she's contacting you about of all thing the cats. You've got her thinking ~ "What's he doing? Who's he doing it with? What's he thinking about? And, why isn't he thinking about me?" I'm telling you NC works (I didn't say a thing about LC). I stumbled upon it when I went through a bout of depression? (I guess that's what it was? When I've got things on my mind? I tend to 'cave' and shut out everyone and everything.) Anyway, when I would do this? The GF's I was with couldn't come running soon enough. One of them drove all night from NC to Ala. If you will just 'fall off the face of the earth'? She may come back and want to reconcile. If she doesn't? So be it. (That's easy for me to say because (1) I've already gone through what you've gone through, (2) I'm not you. The really good thing that does come about from all of this is that its like catching the measles or the mumps? Its hell while your going through it. But once you get through the other side of it? You build up a certain amount immunity to it for most people? Me? I've got 100% now that I've gone through what you might say was twice. There's not a woman in the world that I can't walk away from and get to 'steppin' Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Just ignore the text Lupa! She's sending out bait, trying to pull you back into the cycle, you text, then you call, then she can slam on you some more. I did it, it blows! She would call, all happy like and entertain my thoughts of MC or whatever I was trying at the time......then WAMMMO!!! Out comes the other wife and I'm cornered! Just let it go until she says something important or wants to talk about the relationship, and even then take it sloooooooow! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 I haven't done or sent anything, and there has been silence from the other side since yesterday. I need to lay down a little bit of an ultimatum -- I want us to start spending time together to see if we can get along or I'm going to ask her to file. How do I proceed? Should I invite her over to the house for dinner? ...or should I just not say anything and start dating? I can't keep this up much longer, waiting, confused, hurt, etc. I know you guys all say "start living" but does that mean closure first? Gunny -- maybe Parris Island is closer than I thought...just across the sound, I looked it up on Google maps. I guess we could hear the rifle practice. Pretty cool, actually. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 I haven't done or sent anything, and there has been silence from the other side since yesterday. I need to lay down a little bit of an ultimatum -- I want us to start spending time together or I'm going to ask her to file. How do I proceed? Should I invite her over to the house for dinner? Gunny -- maybe Parris Island is closer than I thought...just across the sound, I looked it up on Google maps. I guess we could hear the rifle practice. Pretty cool, actually. She's going to run if you give her an ultimatum. Wait until she wants to talk about it, then lay that on her. If you initiate it, then your back to square one. NC zero days and counting!!! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Then I'm just going to start finding dates or something. I can accept that this is coming from a position of weakness, but I at least don't think about all this bull**** when I'm in the presence of a beautiful woman...so, there you have it. I won't initiate contact, if we do talk I'll suggest we get together, but nothing major, and I'll just drop everything else. Finally I feel ready to work on me. Sheesh...took long enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 As I was sitting here, reading other threads, I just got another text from her: "Id like to know what time you'll be home tomorrow so I know when to take care of the cats next." Alright people, I'm back at around noon -- how do I respond? Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Just give her the time, nothing else! Link to post Share on other sites
MrMayI Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 noonish. that's all that needs to be said. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 TOLD YOU SO TOLD YOU SO I knew it! See, really lame reason for texting, but she had to, the NC is killing her! Yep, just put around noon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lupa Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Ok, then what? Sit and wait again? I feel like I'm making more out of this than there is. Maybe she just wants to avoid seeing me..? Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Yep! You got to wait till she approaches you about sorting out the issues in your marriage, just keep doing what you're doing. You're doing great, just one small point though, your post above about other women, personally I think a BAD idea, if she gets wind of it, you can literally kiss her goodbye! If this doesn't work out, you will have plenty of time to date after papers are served. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Ok, then what? Sit and wait again? Man. Pardon me for chiming in again, but stop this "sitting around and waiting" business. Get on with your life. Do what you want to do. Go play golf. Go fishing. Hit up women at WalMart. Whatever, just get busy. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Ok, then what? Sit and wait again? I feel like I'm making more out of this than there is. Maybe she just wants to avoid seeing me..? If she wanted to avoid you, she wouldn't be texting you. Asking how your trip was. If this was the first text you had gotten, then maybe. But it isn't! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Man. Pardon me for chiming in again, but stop this "sitting around and waiting" business. Get on with your life. Do what you want to do. Go play golf. Go fishing. Hit up women at WalMart. Whatever, just get busy. Hi Gorilla, it's all part of a bigger game plan! Lup's means he's not gonna text back, wait for her next move when presented with LC. He is getting out and about, he was playing golf earlier today! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 If she wanted to avoid you, she wouldn't be texting you. Asking how your trip was. If this was the first text you had gotten, then maybe. But it isn't! TOJAZ Agreed!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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