Apart and shaken

[TrustInYourself]

Only by being out of her life is she going to realize her mistake. The less contact, the more she can sort out her feelings.

 

You can't tell someone or explain to them what they are feeling. Listening is a very passive action, and it's nearly impossible for most people to do, especially men who wish to "Fix Things". It's an attitude adjustment and it's not easy.

[lupa]

Ok, folks, this is ridiculous...

 

Now my brain is telling me that she was/is having an actual affair. None of this emotional affair BS, but a real one.

 

Is this part of the process? Is it normal to be schizophrenic about your world at this point?

 

Am I going insane?

 

I had a good day yesterday...got stuff done, played golf in the afternoon, had some fun. Then, on the way home, looking forward to sleep for the first time, my brain opens up on me. It is like I'm sabotaging any recovery I have...

 

GRRRRRRR.

 

At least I didn't wake up heartbroken again today, now I'm just jealous, angry, and betrayed.

 

Nice.

 

Screw this, I'm going to play more golf (big event this weekend, and I'm not going to let her **** this up for me).

[tojaz]

Yes, it's normal. Just keep doing what your doing. Your mind will wander to some very bad places during this. You'll be angry, you'll be sad etc. Your imagination will run wild. Just keep your cool and keep living, it's about you, not about her anymore.

TOJAZ

[broken hearted]

Your situation sounds unbelievably similar to mine! My husband up and decided he was going to stay at his parent's house because I have hurt him so much in the past and he doesn't know how to get past it. No, I've never cheated, nor would I ever cheat. We have a two year old together and I am 7 months pregnant with our second child. I was totally in the dark until he unleashed this bomb on me one day and walked out. I am left to take care of our house, our two year old, our dog, and the baby I'm carrying while being a complete emotional wreck. Everywhere I go, everyone I see, everything I do, reminds me of him or some memory that we have together. I'm trying to keep my head up for my child and the baby I'm carrying but I can't help but think that there is absolutely no need for this to be happening and that if he hadn't held everything in over the years and just told me how he felt, than I could have worked on it then. It's been 4.5 months of separation already, although he did come home for about 3 weeks in March/April. I am so crazy in love with this man and when I married him, I too married him until the day I die. It seems as though you're gaining strength and I wish I could say I was doing the same.

[Gunny376]

Yea, that's pretty much par for the course.

 

Divorce/Separation is aka "Crazy Time" ~ in fact there's a book by the same title. Some pretty hairy stories in there as well about going through divorce/separation.

 

In short don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see!

 

You get through this / survive this?

 

You can call yourself a MAN!

[lupa]

You people rock, you really do. It is unreal how there are so many folks out there going through this, but everyone feels like they are the only one...well, I don't, not anymore.

 

In my schizo phase the other night, I asked a mutual friend if there was any reason to suspect my wife and "other" of having an affair. In his deft way, he asked "other" and then my wife. So she called me screaming that I was spreading rumors about her and eliminating friends. I apologized that it got out of hand, and explained that I asked, specifically (which is true), "I mean, I just donm't know anything anymore...could it be possible that they are having an affair??"

 

That's not what she heard.

 

Every time this woman talks to me now, she is angry. Mad. Hateful. Spiteful. It is like an evil alien just took over...

 

So last night I came home, and the blanket that I proposed to her on was on the floor of the walk in closet, instead of where it normally sits up on the shelf.

 

In my blatant stupidity, I called and said, "Hey, I see you were here...is there anything else you did/went through other than get some things?"

 

I guess she heard, "STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE."

 

God, last night's fight didn't even make sense. I was just asking so that I wasn't surprised if something was missing, like her bike...which I found out in the conversation, was also taken. I don't care that she took it, I just wanted to know. Something like a couple hundred dollar bike is missing from a garage that actually can be broken into easily (our security system doesn't cover it, only the door to the house), and you notice.

 

well, then she said, "Do I have to ask for MY OWN BIKE??"

 

I had been debating no contact, and well, here goes. I'm done talking to her.

 

In the meantime, I'm seeing a lawyer on Tuesday. I don't exactly know what I'm going to do...I certainly am not going to be serving papers any time soon...but I want to have my ducks in a row in case something goes down. Also, I want to figure out how to protect any assets, deal with credit cards, joint bank accounts, etc. She doesn't have a job, and unemployment is going to run out here in a couple of weeks...

 

Damnit if she would just come home and chill out, we could start again...it is like she is blaming me for all that is wrong in her life, and I keep standing up and painting a big target right on my chest for her to blast at.

 

Done and done.

 

I'm weak, I've screwed this up since the get go. Time for me to start taking solid action (by which I mean not contacting her at all, ever). Also, I'm going to take up boxing. I figure, if my mind starts wandering or thinking about her, I'll get punched in the face. Nothing like a good punch in the face to bring you back to reality.

 

Ha!

 

Get busy livin', right Gunns?

[seibert253]

Lupa sometimes it takes a good wooping for us to get it. Glad you got it.

Dude this is not about her, what she wants, what she feels, yada yada, Dude this about YOU!

 

Contact an attorney, get your ducks in a row and go NC.

Don't return her calls, don't call her, as far as you're concerned, she fell off the face of the earth and was abducted by space aliens. Because, she has. The woman you married no longer exists.

 

As far as OM, if she's "seeing" him in the physical sense, who cares anymore. I think it's save to assume she is.

 

Now I wouldn't go broadcasting to the world why your marriage is crashing, but if someone asked, hell yeah I'm gonna tell them. She gets angry when you do because it's calling her out and making her feel guilty. She should, she made this bed, she can sleep in it.

 

Don't remember reading this, but is OM married or in a relationship? I would tell his significant other what was going on and drop the dime.

 

Trust me my friend, it's gonna get harder before it gets better, but it will. Eventually you will get to the point that you don't give a sh#t what she does and you get pizzed when you even think of her. That's a better place to be.

Eventually everyday you will feel a little better. That's when you know you're on the road.

[LisaUk]

Wow. I just spent the best part of hour reading this thread and it has helped me so much. I wasn't married but my partner of 18 years left me without explanation 3 months ago calling off our wedding for this December, I've been feeling EXACTLY like you. I keep thinking why would he give up on us? I commited myself to marrying him years ago and thought he had done the same, for me it's been like a divorce without the marriage ceremony if that makes sense. Yet he acts like we've been dating for a few months, not together 18, living together 10 and engaged 8 years! God this thread has helped me so much, I've been sat here for 3 months going round and round it in my head, for the first time I get it, it's not about him now, it's about ME.

 

Sorry to jump your thread Lupa, but if any of you guys could help me on my thread "May I post here" I'd be so grateful, I've been sinking into the pit of despair and this thread has already helped me to start climbing back out.

 

Lupa, you're not alone!

[LisaUk]

Just to say, I've posted under a new thread if any of you guys can help. I think my previous posts have been to concerned with the why rather than the focusing on how I get through this, deal with my emotions. If any of you would be willing to help I'm posting under "I get it". Again Lupa, sorry to take up your thread.

[lupa]

The more the merrier, Lisa...misery loves company. lol.

 

I seriously feel bi-polar, except I'm not manic-depressive, I'm hurt-angry. I think I just had an anxiety or panic attack at my parents' house for father's day dinner.

 

My grandma was there, and I had to lie where the wife was. My cousin showed up...I dunno, I just folded into my own head.

 

I tried telling myself "STOP IT." I tried thinking of other things. Nothing worked, my heart rate went up, my blood pressure changed, I started freaking sweating. Woof.

 

I had to get out of there, so I came home. Couldn't take it any more.

 

I'm thoroughly convinced tonight she is having an affair, because in my brain I've connected all the dots of her anger as her blaming me instead of feeling guilty.

 

I WANT THIS BRAIN TO STOP. GODDAMNIT BRAIN, STOP! STOP!!!!

 

Sheesh.

 

I'm not going to call her.

 

I sent her an email earlier today that apologized for behaving immaturely after the phone call the other night, nothing more. I'm ok with that, it was deserved.

 

Anyway, I still think I'm going to find a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist or whoever it is that can get me some sleep pills. I fall asleep ok, but I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain starts on me again. Plus I can talk about all my fears and problems. Whatever. I already know what it is my head, some shrink might as well get a crack at it, too.

 

I will say this -- I'm becoming more convinced that the pain I feel has hit its limit. I cannot do it this way any longer.

 

Grrrr.

[tojaz]

Don't let it get to you lupa. Whenever it gets to me, I take a long walk, work through it in my head. Or do some yoga, it helps relax you. The counselor will help. It's good to have a safe place to vent, I actually look forward to it. I enjoy learning about myself. Understanding makes it easier.

 

Don't let your imagination control you. Whatever she is doing cannot control your life. You will get stronger from this, whenever it gets to you, send us a post. Thats what I do.

Keep fighting Lupa, Tojaz

[Gunny376]

You've got to get seriously physically active. The house? The house is for only a couple of thing right now as you go through this.

 

1. Sleeping

2. Showering

3. Changing clothes

4. A place to store your trash

5. Maintaining.

 

Other than that? You should be out and about, getting with friends and family. They always can use an extra pair of hands for a project. If not they? Perhaps an elderly neighbor.

 

Plenty of folks out of work that could use a helping hand. Volunteer. Helping others less fortunate than you will return ten fold to you.

 

It well help you count your blessing instead of your troubles.

 

Habitat For Humanity is a good one ~ its a good solid charity, you get physical exercise, and you pick up some new carpentry, electrical, and plumbing skills.

 

If your not sleeping well, its simply because your not getting enough physical activity in your life.

 

If you get anaerobic exercise, (lifting weights, pumping iron, lifting heavy things, chopping wood) for about an hour to hour and half a day? You won't have any problems sleeping.

 

You might want to try melatonin. Its over the counter, non-prescription, non-addictive, and is the natural sleep substance our bodies produce naturally that regulates our 'sleep cycles'

 

Airline pilots that fly the 'red-eye' coast to coast use it.

 

It won't 'knock you out' and if you had to get up to say tend to a child in the middle of the night, it will enable you to do so. But you can then go back to sleep.

 

The only draw back? Its light sensitive. So you will need to completely 'black out' you bedroom. Heavy curtains + drapes so zero light is coming in through the window. Tape over any leds from radios, alarm clocks, fans.

 

You should make your sleeping quarters as comfortable as possible. If you don't have one already? Install or have installed a ceiling fan. You want the room 'cool' and the noise will help you sleep.

 

Go to ChinaMart ~ I mean WalMart and purchase a sleep noise maker. The ones that make 'white noise' and sounds like a rambling brook, rain, thunderstorm, the breaking of waves coming ashore.

 

Now is the time to invest in good quality bedding and not from ChinaMart. Go to one of the more exclusive department stores, and invest in a good expensive linen. A thick down mattress topper, plenty of pillows that recover quickly and get 'fluffy' in no time at all. A nice down comforter.

 

Even a full length body pillow with pillow cases to hug up to.

 

I'm no Martha Stewart, but there are bedsheets your suppose to use in the warmer months and bedsheets your suppose to use in the cooler months. One of them is cotton, (and you want to get the 400 thread count or higher? ~ The higher the thread count the more comfortable.

 

Me? I use to could sleep with a wool horse blanket, or in the rain with nothing but a poncho like Forrest Gump.

 

Anyway getting back to the melatonin, I found that the best comes from Walgreen's, but you can get it anywhere in the vitamins and supplement section.

 

It comes in 3mmg (micro milligrams) 3 mg (milligrams) and 5 mg ~ (Not to insult your knowledge of the metric system ~ but just spelling it out for others that read this post! )

 

I'm 6'1" and 190 lbs and take one 5 mg when I get home at night from work.

 

About 30 to 40 minutes later?

 

You'll start to yawn, your eyes will start to 'water" and you'll be thinking?

 

Forget this? I'm going to bed!

 

Oh, and if you've any worries? It will help quite them!

 

The downside?

 

If I take 10 mg's? (Its height-weight sensitive ~ in that if your a five-five, 110 woman? it could only be 3mg) I wake up pretty groggy the next morning which wears off in about 30-45 minutes)

 

Alcohol intensifies the effect. But its safe ~ unlike sleeping pills.

 

The best combination for me? Is daily one-hour exercise/activity + one 5 mg of melatonin.

[Gunny376]

You need to close any and all joint accounts.

 

Of course, you need to let her know this ~ five minutes after you've done so.

 

Contact the CC's (Credit Card Companies) and have them issue new cards in your name and your name only. Transfer the balances to the new accounts ~ doesn't matter ~ your going to end up paying them anyway.

 

Ditto with any banking accounts, (Checking, savings, IRA's, etc)

 

Until the ink is dried on the 'D' papers for one or two years you seriously need to keep a check on your credit and FICO score every three months!

 

I would recommend you spend the $8 to $10 each month with each of the credit reporting agencies until you get to the otherside of this. (Do one ~ one each quarter and its free)

 

Although generally a rip-off, you might even want to consider signing up for a monthly service like you see on tv with the guys wearing the ___________________, and complaing about working in a seafood resturant? ;)

 

Ever how you do it? Now is most definately the time to keep tabs on your FICO score and credit.

 

The second front?

 

Keep tabs on your state and Federal taxes. You could get a 'nastygram' from out of no-where from the IRS if your not careful!

[Chrome Barracuda]

Dont you ever apologize about defending your marriage or your anger. Your resolved to divorce, dont ever lie about her whereabouts. Tell people she's cheating because it's the truth!!!

 

Forget her azz.

[Gunny376]

I'm "calling you down" 'CB" as Lakeside did me!

 

A lot of these folks here?

 

Its there first time! They're first time 'in-country"

 

You?

 

Me?

 

Lakeside Dreams?

 

We've done been where they're at for the first time and back!

 

And gone again!

 

You? Me? Lakeside?

 

We KNOW the drill! We know the rules of the game!

 

Most?

 

Have not A clue!

 

Vets KNOW Vets!

[Chrome Barracuda]

I know mayn but damn how much this man has to suffer. I mean damn these guys just being fed the same rhetoric over and over. Good lord it's frustrating!!!

 

I just want guys to keep their options open when dealing with cheating women. I know their emotions be all crazy but we have a choice whether to accept the cheating or not.

 

And I want guys to be stronger when dealing with their cheating spouses.

 

Dont cry or pout over them. Especially if they aint worth it.

[Gunny376]

I know mayn but damn how much this man has to suffer. I mean damn these guys just being fed the same rhetoric over and over. Good lord it's frustrating!!!

 

I just want guys to keep their options open when dealing with cheating women. I know their emotions be all crazy but we have a choice whether to accept the cheating or not.

 

And I want guys to be stronger when dealing with their cheating spouses.

 

Dont cry or pout over them. Especially if they aint worth it.

 

Come on CB!

 

You? Me?

 

We're SpecOcps!

 

We know the drill!

[LisaUk]

Thanks Lupa. Keep posting, you are helping me so much just expressing your feelings and venting, you and I could be the same person, I feel EXACTLY like you do. Helps to know I'm not alone!

[lupa]

Dont you ever apologize about defending your marriage or your anger. Your resolved to divorce, dont ever lie about her whereabouts. Tell people she's cheating because it's the truth!!!

 

Forget her azz.

Well, in all honesty, I behaved like a 15 yr old after she hung up. I kept dialing and dialing and hanging up, just to piss her off. That was immature, but I had a couple of scotches, almost won the golf tourney I was in (lost on the 4th playoff hole, after 45 holes of play...team event, the other guys got a handicap stroke, we did not. Bullsh*t), and my wife was yelling about needing permission to come into "her own" house.

 

I just snapped and behaved poorly.

 

I also put my foot through a standup mirror and just demolished the radio she kept in her bathroom.

 

Good thing I didn't hurt myself.

 

She doesn't know about the last two parts of this yet. Whatever.

 

I try to think of all the things that have gone on that pissed me off over the last year, I really do. But here's what happens...I end up thinking about how great it is when we laugh. We laughed all the time! we had fun all the time!

 

She was just at home for 5 months, no job, bored out of her mind, and lonely evidently. I didn't know it, because I was busting my ass to support us. I'd come home exhausted, and end up sleeping on the couch. So, after I ended up in bed, she'd spend the next three hours on the internet. Then, when I'd get up in the morning, she'd sleep until 10 or 11. During this time, she figured out how to blame me to make herself feel better. She hung out with our other unemployed friend during the day...I didn't know.

 

Of course I'm going to think they are cheating! ESPECIALLY after hearing her say we weren't intimate enough because I don't know how to listen. Evidently this douchebag DOES know how to listen, so you people connect the dots. What is the next assumption?

 

I don't want a divorce, I want my life back. Of all the things I can do, it is learn -- hell, I went to the top university in the country (I'll give you a hint, not Yale). I told her I'd like to try, I told her I can listen...she just pulled away. Everything I do, she pulls away.

 

No more.

 

I'm lost, but I know what needs to be done.

 

I'm tired, but I know I can get some rest.

 

I'm weak, but I know I can be strong.

 

I don't see a light in this darkness anywhere, but I know I can make my own.

 

Date, don't date, go out, stay at home...none of it is going to let me escape my own head. I need to find peace with myself, peace with my life, and heck, peace with my wife...even if in the end we are just acquaintances.

 

Doesn't make this hurt any less...doesn't make me miss her any less.

 

But as you've all said -- come here, brain dump, feel better. At least for a bit.

 

I'm going to ask this (young) cutie at work to get drinks with me today. Ha!

 

I'm like the kamikaze, going down in flames. It's the sudden stop at the end that kills ya, but holy cow will this be glorious.

[LisaUk]

Lupa, your life is my life in reverse! That is to say I am a women and you're a man, but are thoughts and feelings are mirror images of each other (not the one you just put your foot through though-ochh:rolleyes:).

 

I know what you mean about you can't get away from your own head. I went out on saturday with a friend I've had since school, my only frined who knew me before my relationship. I so didn't want to bring her down, she has her own problems, could I do it? Could I let this day take my mind of it all and enjoy myself with her. NO:mad:. I tried, I really did. I just can't stop thinking about it, about the way he just bailed on us, and like you I keep remembering how happy I was, we were, how great my life was just 15 weeks ago, planning our wedding together. It made me so sad.

 

He acts so cold to me now (although we are now NC), emotionless, went so far as to say since he split with me he feels liberated, free. Even told me he doesn't miss me at all now he is back in what was our house, said he misses aspects of our relationship, but is enjoying building a new single life for himself. That hurt!

 

I don't know what the answer is to stop these thoughts in your head, I wish I did. I know it helps me to know you are doing it too, so perhaps it helps to know I'm sat over the pond in England doing the same?

 

Hope the hotty says yes, just don't do anything you will regret tomorrow!

[Gunny376]

Well, in all honesty, I behaved like a 15 yr old after she hung up. I kept dialing and dialing and hanging up, just to piss her off. That was immature, but I had a couple of scotches, almost won the golf tourney I was in (lost on the 4th playoff hole, after 45 holes of play...team event, the other guys got a handicap stroke, we did not. Bullsh*t), and my wife was yelling about needing permission to come into "her own" house.

 

I just snapped and behaved poorly.

 

I also put my foot through a stand up mirror and just demolished the radio she kept in her bathroom.

 

Good thing I didn't hurt myself.

 

She doesn't know about the last two parts of this yet. Whatever.

 

I try to think of all the things that have gone on that pissed me off over the last year, I really do. But here's what happens...I end up thinking about how great it is when we laugh. We laughed all the time! we had fun all the time!

 

She was just at home for 5 months, no job, bored out of her mind, and lonely evidently. I didn't know it, because I was busting my ass to support us. I'd come home exhausted, and end up sleeping on the couch. So, after I ended up in bed, she'd spend the next three hours on the Internet. Then, when I'd get up in the morning, she'd sleep until 10 or 11. During this time, she figured out how to blame me to make herself feel better. She hung out with our other unemployed friend during the day...I didn't know.

 

Of course I'm going to think they are cheating! ESPECIALLY after hearing her say we weren't intimate enough because I don't know how to listen. Evidently this douche bag DOES know how to listen, so you people connect the dots. What is the next assumption?

 

I don't want a divorce, I want my life back. Of all the things I can do, it is learn -- hell, I went to the top university in the country (I'll give you a hint, not Yale). I told her I'd like to try, I told her I can listen...she just pulled away. Everything I do, she pulls away.

 

No more.

 

I'm lost, but I know what needs to be done.

 

I'm tired, but I know I can get some rest.

 

I'm weak, but I know I can be strong.

 

I don't see a light in this darkness anywhere, but I know I can make my own.

 

Date, don't date, go out, stay at home...none of it is going to let me escape my own head. I need to find peace with myself, peace with my life, and heck, peace with my wife...even if in the end we are just acquaintances.

 

Doesn't make this hurt any less...doesn't make me miss her any less.

 

But as you've all said -- come here, brain dump, feel better. At least for a bit.

 

I'm going to ask this (young) cutie at work to get drinks with me today. Ha!

 

I'm like the kamikaze, going down in flames. It's the sudden stop at the end that kills ya, but holy cow will this be glorious.

 

Your going through "Crazy Time" ~ divorce?

 

Your emotions are going to be all over the place!

 

The in-field, out-field, the bleachers, the dug out, the freaking parking lot!

 

Be carefull and don't make any life alerting decisions!

 

What your expercing is "normal" par the course!

 

And yea!

 

"I just want my life back!"

 

Is so much a part of all this!

 

You could spend months upon months on that one alone!

 

Stubbling and fubbling through the dark constantly asking WTF! Just trying to get through the 'goal posts of life?"

 

Its one Hell of a train wreck, I' here to tell ya!

 

Lakeside can tell you!

 

After all I've been through?

 

All I've gone through?

 

All I've seen?

 

How is it, a 110 pound woman can bring me to my knees?

[lupa]

I think I just figured it out (and I know you people already know, don't make fun of me for being slow). This isn't a "separation to figure things out and find herself" this is a "trial divorce." She's calling up old friends, trying to have a life without me. She f'ing left our house, our "family" such as it is (she wanted both cats), our shared life.

 

I thought this was her time to reflect and think on the past 6 years. It isn't! This is her time to go out and be 22 again...which she f'ed up the first time by dating some older guy when she was still in high school (can you say statutory?) then through college and beyond. She swears she isn't dating, and I guess I believe that, because she has only been hanging out with old girl friends, or that one 'mutual' guy friend who must just be a woman because he "listens so well." Men don't know how to listen, at least at first...we can learn. But I digress.

 

Anyway, this is BS. I'm sitting here hurting so bad, and she is going out in the world. Part of me just thinks, "let her go do it. Let it be a phase. She's a good person at heart who is just lost...let her miss you." Another part of me is all, "You're an idiot. Bang a hottie, right now." The last part of me is saying, "You settled down with this one, started to get comfortable and ready for a real family. Why would she do this to you?"

 

Everything else in my life is getting 4% of my attention. Let me be the first to admit that this is actually good, because for a while it was .1%.

 

My family is great, but they keep telling me "pull it together!" when all I want to hear is "it will be ok, no matter what happens. It will be ok."

 

By the way, I left work to run an errand, stopped by the house, and cried for like 30 seconds. I don't feel any better about the situation, but the compression in my chest subsided.

 

Gonna get mean. Gonna get tough.

 

...soon.

[LisaUk]

It's freaky really, my ex says he feels like he has been married for 18 years, he wants to be free to experience new things, do what he wants when he wants and not have to consider another person. He wants to go out and get a motorbike! Mid life crisis or what?

 

Yet, I'm left thinking we were a family, I thought of you as family, for life. ( we had a cat too , she lives with me now, the g*t made me take an 18 year old cat with kidney problems on a 5 and half hour car journey, selfish or what? Still I'm glad I have her, she is a great comfort to me).

 

Heaven only knows what's going through your wifes and my ex's minds, but I'll tell you one thing for sure, they both have no commitment, no substance, no moral code, no ability to face up to their choices, obligations and commitments they have already made. It's a case of me me me, when the tough gets going the WEAK get going. Anyone with an onnce of integrity, moral decency or empathy would stay and try and work things out before just throwing in the towel and walking away.

[Gunny376]

It's freaky really, my ex says he feels like he has been married for 18 years, he wants to be free to experience new things, do what he wants when he wants and not have to consider another person. He wants to go out and get a motorbike! Mid life crisis or what?

 

Yet, I'm left thinking we were a family, I thought of you as family, for life. ( we had a cat too , she lives with me now, the g*t made me take an 18 year old cat with kidney problems on a 5 and half hour car journey, selfish or what? Still I'm glad I have her, she is a great comfort to me).

 

Heaven only knows what's going through your wifes and my ex's minds, but I'll tell you one thing for sure, they both have no commitment, no substance, no moral code, no ability to face up to their choices, obligations and commitments they have already made. It's a case of me me me, when the tough gets going the WEAK get going. Anyone with an onnce of integrity, moral decency or empathy would stay and try and work things out before just throwing in the towel and walking away.

 

I love Brit Logic and thinking!

[Gunny376]

By the way, I left work to run an errand, stopped by the house, and cried for like 30 seconds. I don't feel any better about the situation, but the compression in my chest subsided.

 

Yea! That's par the course!

 

Normal!