kclay21 Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 This "game" we play in relationships as humans is wearing me down... Last week, I had pretty much cut contact with the ex. No texts, calls, etc. I had to stop making advances to only have her reject me. It was killing me. It was very hard to do for the fact that we have a 3 year old that is with her. I cut all contact on last Wednesday. I get a text message yesterday from her with some lame excuse to come over. So I agreed she could come to pick up some toys and things for my daughter. Long story short, we talked about our relationship. She stated that she wanted to be friends without me pressuring for us to get back together so soon. She said that she wants to hang out with me and spend time, but she needs to still heal from the things that happened in the relationship. Which is cool...but we made love after we talked. Boy, did we... Doh! I digress! I am wondering, though, is she just wanting a friends with "benefits" relationship with me, or is she truly wanting to be friends conscientiously trying to get back to being in this thing? I told her that we should just play it by ear. I don't really want to make love anymore with her, because it feels awkward to do that and she still leaves later. Of course I didnt tell her this... I feel like I'm heading toward a lot of hurt and resentment if we keep this path. Complications will definitely arise. Should I stick to my guns and JUST be friends, or should I just be thankful for the step that we progressed and take it for face value? Am I over-reacting? I dont know how to feel...I feel numb rather than excited that we made love for the first time in 2 months... Need advice, guys... Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 You already stated how the "friends with benefits" makes you feel. Definitely follow your feelings. They never lie!! It would not be healthy for you to continue this behavior with your ex. It seriously isn't a good thing if you ever hope to reconcile. Stick to you guns and remain JUST FRIENDS. I did the benefits things with an ex of mine and it ended up in disaster. He apparently gave it more depth then I did and when I told him I was moving on for good, he was devastated. I looked at it as more of way of separating from one another slowly, not as a means to get back together. You never know how she views it and instead of driving yourself crazy by reading into it, just keep things simple and strictly on a friendship level. Your heart will thank you in the long run. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 I don't know if friends with benefits is gonna work out for you. You say that you were excited when the two of you slept together, but at the same time, you were probably hurting. If you continue this, hoping for some sort of reconciliation that probably won't happen anytime soon, you'll be torturing yourself. In the meantime, just be friends and let nature take its course. Link to post Share on other sites
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