2sunny Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Hi Again! I had a thought. What if we posted on the "Friendship" forum. I could place a post to you telling you some specific things about me that would then allow you to figure out my e-mail address without giving you all of my e-mail address. I already told you it's a yahoo.com account so I could leave that part of it out and just tell you stuff like what my favorite dog is and what my favorite number is. Would that work for you? Let me know! LKS - you would do best to start your own thread with your written circumstances... that way anyone can give you input to your situation. it's best NOT to give out your private info on a public forum. the guidelines specify against it. just start your own thread. sorry to threadjack all... Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 I haven't given you guys a lot of details on their marriage. I didn't want to bad mouth his wife. They have had a lot of struggles. They are not as happy as you guys think they are. You honestly have no idea what is going on in their marriage. You are hearing his side, and he isn't going to tell you things are awesome. And you just said she isn't really a friend of yours; just an acquaintenance -- so you can't say "well, she is my friend and talks to me about the struggles". And since you have had the hots for him for 11 years; don't you think his wife saw you; saw how you acted and purposefully has NOT befriended you? I mean, who befriends someone who is hot for their husband? IF it was truly "meant to be" like you say it is, then back the heck off, and stop the affair UNTIL both of you are divorced and have had time to emotionally heal from the marriages you both actively and intentionally chose to destroy. IF it is meant to be, it will be there after the dust settles, the divorces are settled and the kids are healed. And while you think your children will be fine with it all, because they already have guessed your romantic intentions, you don't know how HIS children will feel or act. They may tell their father "her or us". And I guarantee you, it won't be you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovekillsslowly Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 LKS - you would do best to start your own thread with your written circumstances... that way anyone can give you input to your situation. it's best NOT to give out your private info on a public forum. the guidelines specify against it. just start your own thread. sorry to threadjack all... Thanks 2Sunny for your suggestion. I did post a few details about my situation in response to another thread that someone else had posted. And the results were a condesending response from another poster who felt the need to belittle me and more or less tell me that I shouldn't be grateful for what I was grateful for at that time. So for now I don't feel like posting anymore about my situation for everyone on this forum to read. I came to this web-site for support to help me cope with the ending of a 10 month A. And the majority of posters who have been in this situation are very supportive and offer helpful advice and for that I'm grateful. But there are those select few posters who feel the need to more or less call you a liar and then proceed to lecture you with bible verses and tell you that you are fooling yourself with what you are feeling at that moment. And at this point and time I don't need or want to hear that. I already know what we did was wrong. I have beat myself up for it time and time again. I don't need others pointing out to me what a terrible person I am. Hope you can understand where I'm coming from. Once again thanks for the suggestion! I appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 My friend who knows about this whole situation is supporting me. But at the same time she is encouraging me to end it. However, no matter what decision I make, she is still going to be there for me, because she is my friend! and she gossips behind your back. you will be shocked about the things people say about there friends Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 you are aware that the married person always lies about there marriage. Always! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 and she gossips behind your back. you will be shocked about the things people say about there friends Forgive me, but has this been established in her posts or are you guessing? I really don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Forgive me, but has this been established in her posts or are you guessing? I really don't know. It might not be well substantiated, but I can believe it. People tend to not keep the juicy stuff to themselves. And let's be real, a friend who is having an affair with her child's best friend's father? That's JUICY! Human nature being what it is, I think the friend has already told at least two other people that she doesn't think will spread the word further. And those two probably did the same thing, until eventually it gets back to the OP and her OMM. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks 2Sunny for your suggestion. And the results were a condesending response from another poster who felt the need to belittle me And at this point and time I don't need or want to hear that. I don't need others pointing out to me what a terrible person I am. Hope you can understand where I'm coming from. Once again thanks for the suggestion! I appreciate it! i understand - you will get some of that on any forum. you simply start a thread and when the posters you don't want to hear from post - you put them on ignore... that's right - use the ignore button. there are plenty of good posters here who will give great advice - no matter if they've been in an A or not. Link to post Share on other sites
delirious Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Well after reading the rules of the forum they do not allow e-mail exchanges among posters. There has to be some way for us to privately communicate with each other. I have an e-mail account with yahoo. What is the time difference between the USA and UK? Let me know and maybe we can be on at the same time and figure out a way to be able to communicate with each other privately. Thanks! Sorry to interrupt HST, you click on my name in the post and you can send me your e mail private message as I am a member I think. Try it Good luck PS depends what part USA, right now it is 5.45pm. Link to post Share on other sites
lovekillsslowly Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Sorry to interrupt HST, you click on my name in the post and you can send me your e mail private message as I am a member I think. Try it Good luck PS depends what part USA, right now it is 5.45pm. Hi Delirious! I tried that but I'm not an established member yet so it won't pull up the "private message" for me. Here are a couple of things about me...my favorite breed of dog is a shihtzu so I'm a shihtzulover...my favorite number is 14...put that all together....followed by @yahoo.com and you will be able to e-mail me. Hope to hear from you soon! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Hi Delirious! I tried that but I'm not an established member yet so it won't pull up the "private message" for me. Here are a couple of things about me...my favorite breed of dog is a shihtzu so I'm a shihtzulover...my favorite number is 14...put that all together....followed by @yahoo.com and you will be able to e-mail me. Hope to hear from you soon! Too cute! I hope you don't get about a thousand emails! Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Forgive me, but has this been established in her posts or are you guessing? I really don't know. Not in post, its just the way in happens in the real world. People talk it what we do Link to post Share on other sites
lovekillsslowly Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Too cute! I hope you don't get about a thousand emails! Thanks! I plan on deleting my yahoo address as soon as I hear from delirious and creating a new e-mail address. I will then e-mail her my new e-mail address and we will be able to e-mail each other and talk about our own personal experiences with this whole A mess we got ourselves invovled in! If nothing else good came out of the whole A thing at least maybe I gained a new friendship out of it from the LS forum! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 It might not be well substantiated, but I can believe it. People tend to not keep the juicy stuff to themselves. And let's be real, a friend who is having an affair with her child's best friend's father? That's JUICY! Human nature being what it is, I think the friend has already told at least two other people that she doesn't think will spread the word further. And those two probably did the same thing, until eventually it gets back to the OP and her OMM. A friend told me once that there's only two kinds of secrets - the ones that seem so unimportant that you tell other people and the ones that are so good that you can't wait to tell other people. This seems to fall into the latter category... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
HisSweetThing Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 A friend told me once that there's only two kinds of secrets - the ones that seem so unimportant that you tell other people and the ones that are so good that you can't wait to tell other people. This seems to fall into the latter category... Mr. Lucky The friend I have talked to lives out of town and doesn't know any of the parties involved. Link to post Share on other sites
HisSweetThing Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Okay I would like to private mail you, but cannot see how. I do not want to hijack the post. Do you know I really do not know if he has a Catholic background, I do not think so, but just loves his family, which can be stronger than religion.; how can I privately mail you? I do understand HST. It is quite a surprise to see others experiencing the same amazing feelings, well some amazing, some terrible and feeling that you have met your soul mate, your exact male opposite. I have cried for the first time in ten years and can't seem to stop crying, but I have to stop this for everyone's sake. My OM's guilt seemed to get worse and worse that he could not deal with it anymore, mainly due to his children's reaction to him. Obviously he must have been showing symptoms that they picked up on, they are not young kids. Let me know how I can email you. Don't worry about hijacking the post! I'm glad you guys have found each other. I am going to go back and read your old posts to try to figure out your story. Link to post Share on other sites
lovekillsslowly Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Don't worry about hijacking the post! I'm glad you guys have found each other. I am going to go back and read your old posts to try to figure out your story. Thank you so much HST! As they say "everything happens for a reason". Maybe part of the reason the A I was involved in happend was so I could gain some new friends from LS that will accept me for the mistake I made, understand me and what I'm going through, and not judge me because they are in the same boat. Link to post Share on other sites
delirious Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I don't know if it is those chemicals in my brain working overtime, but when we talk about finding 'the one' the soulmate, the person you seem to have known all your life. We would not have As with just anyone, it is not like a single relationship, because it takes a hell of a lot more guts to start an A when you are already committed or they are. So there is that enormous push which we have both admitted to, not just physical but a connection (without wanting to use a cliche) that we all feel in these affairs. What the hell is it, I have never felt anything like it. It, for me, is like I am in touch all the time mentally. I can't explain it, I feel strong vibes. Does anyone else have these feelings? That is why HST I found your statement saying that you were not deluded, that you feel this strong and you know he does, it's interesting. It feels like you (we) are some crazy person when you think that or say that, but we both know we are not. We are feeling some kind of sixth sense emotion. Does anyone know what I am talking about, or am I really completely barking. PS LKS I have e mail you, it is 5.45pm here. Link to post Share on other sites
HisSweetThing Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I don't know if it is those chemicals in my brain working overtime, but when we talk about finding 'the one' the soulmate, the person you seem to have known all your life. We would not have As with just anyone, it is not like a single relationship, because it takes a hell of a lot more guts to start an A when you are already committed or they are. So there is that enormous push which we have both admitted to, not just physical but a connection (without wanting to use a cliche) that we all feel in these affairs. What the hell is it, I have never felt anything like it. It, for me, is like I am in touch all the time mentally. I can't explain it, I feel strong vibes. Does anyone else have these feelings? That is why HST I found your statement saying that you were not deluded, that you feel this strong and you know he does, it's interesting. It feels like you (we) are some crazy person when you think that or say that, but we both know we are not. We are feeling some kind of sixth sense emotion. Does anyone know what I am talking about, or am I really completely barking. PS LKS I have e mail you, it is 5.45pm here. We would not be doing this if we didn't feel so strongly! It is so good to find some people on here who understand that. If it's chemicals in the brain - they only seem to work with this one person! Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 We would not be doing this if we didn't feel so strongly! It is so good to find some people on here who understand that. If it's chemicals in the brain - they only seem to work with this one person! i had a joke w my xMM about his "psychic ring tone" - i could be in a dead sleep with my ringer off and would wake up for no reason, look over at my phone and see that he was calling. happened at least 5 times. i know it is just so hard to comprehend having that kind of connection and it not working out. the brain (which is, by the way, absolutely SOUSED on those chemicals we keep talking about) cannot seem to compute having felt that love and then losing it, for whatever reason. eventually that feeling of shock and incomprehension fades. there is the temptation to assume you made it up if it ends, or even to cling to an unrealistic hope of reconcilliation because it just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE that you could love someone like that and lose them. this seems to be the theme on LS today. i know where you're at, kittens. "farther along we'll know all about it farther along we'll understand why cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine we'll understand it all by and by." i'm actually singing this to y'all in front of my computer. too bad we don't have audio. love to you. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedinkansas Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 and she gossips behind your back. you will be shocked about the things people say about there friends Ha! There are people who talk & gossip about others behind their backs ALL THE TIME....... Seems we are all grown ups here - We should AT THE VERY LEAST know that by now. You can't stop them from talking about you! They'll find a subject, even if you don't help them with one. DUH! Link to post Share on other sites
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