sumdude Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Been a while since I posted an update. Been lurking here occasionally but life's been one whirlwind after another lately. Quick recap of the last few years: Met ex-wife in '99, moved in together '00. Proposed in '04 and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Married in '05 Mom passed away in '06 and we were trying to have a child. Ex went through fertility treatments. I was grieving, stressed, depressed and drinking too much. Jan '07 my ex-wife suddenly moved out.. no warning & no note just secretly moved out one day after a few months of acting.. strange, distant and generally angry to me. Disappearing at times too so I suspected something else. Aunt and uncle passed on '07 and officially divorced in Sept. '07 I went on a self improvement program and lost about 50 lbs. '08 Dad's health really went downhill and I was spending a lot of time taking care of him, he passed away around Thanksgiving. The last time I saw or spoke with my ex was after that. That's when she let me know she was already remarried.. lied about who it was LOL but I know it was the guy I suspected way back. So here's 2009.. had to get the family home on the market because me and my siblings can't afford to keep. Spend a couple long hard months emptying the place of 40 years worth of 7 peoples lives. Fixing, painting and just getting the place in shape. It went on the market last weekend finally. It's been a long, strange trip.. My life barely resembles what it was just a couple years ago. A lot of my family is gone along with the ex.. sometimes it was hard to tell just what or who I was greiving because it was all connected in ways. I'd be going through family pix at the house and see mom, dad and my ex. Had a few little flings since the sep & divorce but nothing serious or long term. Started seeing a woman just a couple months ago. Things are OK with her but I'm not getting a huge feeling about it. Maybe just guarded but we're having some fun. Thing is even with the losses in my life I know life is good if I choose to feel that way about it. Sure it's natural and normal to grieve, feel sad and miss things I've lost but that's just life. It ain't always going to be a picnic.I've had so much to learn and adjust to I feel like a different person at times. In some ways better and stronger and in others a bit like I've lost a little of that excitement about life. But it hasn't been that long since dad passed away so it's normal to be a bit down after all that. Things are sure looking up in other ways and I can see the sun rising and appreciate the good stuff. For all of you going through the hard part, the first part when you can't sleep and your heart's just a pile of rubble.. When you're life looks like Hurricane Andrew blew though it and you can't find anything. It's gonna be OK if you keep moving, keep living, keep hoping and learn more about yourself and life. Accept what you can't change and get to work on the things you can change. Link to post Share on other sites
TroyNJ Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Thanks for that post, I lost my Dad last October and now my Wife no longer wants me, I can only hope for a fast recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Sumdude, it is great to hear from you....You are so right in what you say... Good luck in 09 for you, it's time things change around for you..... Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 You're A CLASSISC example of either get busy living your life or get busy dying! You've been tested and tempered! Your 'steel' is stong! You've been through the Hell, fire, and brimstone! And come out the otherside! When going through Hell? Get to steppin'! Link to post Share on other sites
hurting_in_nw Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 That's great to hear sumdude. I remember you from when I first found this place at the beginning of my divorce...now already two years behind me. Your positive attitude is an inspiration! Link to post Share on other sites
fabulous_chk Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 You are an amazing and courageous person and an inspiration to all of us here in LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sumdude Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 You're A CLASSISC example of either get busy living your life or get busy dying! You've been tested and tempered! Your 'steel' is stong! You've been through the Hell, fire, and brimstone! And come out the otherside! When going through Hell? Get to steppin'! Thanks Gunny, You're posts back in the day helped me out with a kick in the pants, heavy dose of reality and fed my inner drill Sgt. Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 My story pales in comparison to your story, but I feel like I've had my teeth bashed in anyway...youre an inspiration to me, and right now I wish I could say reading this makes me feel better. It doesn't make me feel better, it doesn't make me feel stronger. It doesn't lift me up and show me the way. But it does give me a little hope, and right now a little hope is more than I got. I'm coming to the conclusion that it is over for me and my wife, and even though this is premature enlightenment and I'll probably go back to being devastated, right now your story is giving me a glimpse of hope. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
hopeful26 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 It's gonna be OK if you keep moving, keep living, keep hoping and learn more about yourself and life. Accept what you can't change and get to work on the things you can change. That's the truth right there, folks. I'm living proof! I chose to accept what I couldn't change and get busy living and life is now better than ever! Hard to imagine when you're in the midst of all the pain, I know, but if you focus on living (not dying!) you're guaranteed to succeed! Link to post Share on other sites
Itsnotme Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 You are an amazing and courageous person and an inspiration to all of us here in LS. I second that and wish you every happiness in the future. x Link to post Share on other sites
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