jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 My boyfriend, who has been so great for these 3 months of dating so far, has been a complete gentleman. He says he does not like playboy, strip clubs, etc. well i found something on the net that he had posted, relatin to the show the real world and this pisses me off because hes acting like someone else. the person i know would not post this!! Posted - 10/08/2003 : 10:37:19 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- post 1 I just watch that show for Mallory and Christina. Whooo....I can't wait till they do playboy. post 2 I just watch that show for Mallory and Christina. Man they cute. ---------- So, i just feel kinda lied to. i have MAJOR trust issues with someone acting like someone they arent, i have had that before. am i wrong to be pissed? i mean if h elikes naked women in mags- ADMIT IT. dont lie to me and say you dont. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 He could be lying. He could be ashamed of himself and not want you to know. A surprising amount of men are actually ashamed about their carnal side. Ask him before you tear a strip off him. Of course, if he knows you hate guys who like that stuff, he'll not want you to know that he likes that stuff because you might dislike him. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 thanks for the idea, i just cannot beleive it! men actually lie because they are embarassed of being perverted? wow Link to post Share on other sites
Girlinterrupted Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 The fact that he stated that he likes these chicks on the realworld and would like to see them do playboy does NOT by far make you bf a pervert. C'mon girl get with it! What guy can honestly say he does not like to look at pretty naked girls in magazines. I'd be more worried if he didn't, he probably lied to you becasue you seemed so uptight about the situation. Did you tell him you disliked guys who like that before he stated he didn't like it? Think about it, when this conversation came up, how did it come up? I'm sure he didn't just say out the blue one day "I don't like nudy mag'z" right? I say ease up and don't worry about that. That's one of those things we call a "white lie" . Now if you go in his house one day and discover a porn stash under his bed with a bottle of vaseline next to it, then worry....eeewww...LOL Obviously he was chatting w/ another male at the time...it's just guy stuff. NO need to worry. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 actually, it was all from him, so dont tell me to chill out. he made himself seem to be very respectful towards women. claims on his bachelor party, he just wants to golf, doesnt want the strip club scene. when he sees naked women on tv and i am around, hes like, "ah, they are just women, naked, who cares". so yeah, its a damn lie. i hate liars and i will get to the bottom of this. and i dont really think what he said was respectful to me either, i demand respect. do no other women? Link to post Share on other sites
Girlinterrupted Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Well I get respected because I respect as well...I don't know about the demanding part, I don't think I would deal with anyone that I had to demand anything from. Anyway all I was saying was that it is a natural thing for guys to be into that stuff but on the other hand if he out of his own free will just started going on about how he does not like it then he was just being fake and yes you should look out for that. If your basing this on the comments he makes around you when he sees a naked girl on tv well then you should know that he is not going to be all "wow, look at them tit's" in front of you and yes it is just a naked girl when your with your girl friend. When he is with his boys though I bet it's completely different, they could be watching sports and if a Victorias Secretes commercial come's on him and his boys would probably go ga-ga over it....again that's perfectly normal....there is a place and a time for everything. Golf for his bachelor party? How old is he? You see I would of seen right through that one from the jump! So my point is...if he goes out his way trying to act like a "saint" and then behind your back he is actually a "normal guy" well then I guess that's deceitfull. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Originally posted by Girlinterrupted Golf for his bachelor party? How old is he? You see I would of seen right through that one from the jump! are there no men that arent perverted and just want to golf for their bachelor party? is that impossible or something? i honestly thought and still for the most part, do think hes different from the rest. but that will be finalized when i talk to him today. not ALL men drool over naked women, they are not all drooling pigs. there are many quality men out there, and im not gonna lose faith in that Link to post Share on other sites
Girlinterrupted Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 No one said he was a drooling pig....boy you realy do take things things in a bad way. I only said that it's not abnormal or perverted for a guy to want see a pretty girl naked specially when he is expressing this to another male. What where you doing going through his post, does he know you did that? And that would kinda make you a snoop, don't you think he will get mad at that. In fact I think that's worst! And yes I am very aware of the fact that there are plenty of gentlemen out there and I still say that a man who likes to see a pretty naked girl is not any less of a gentleman then one who would rather golf on his bachelor party....hi hi hi...sorry I could just barely say that with a straight face....Anyway, I would be more concerned with him thinking your a psycho when he finds out you've been snooping around on him..... I think you should concentrate on your doing something about your "trust" issues before you can share your life with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Originally posted by Girlinterrupted No one said he was a drooling pig....boy you realy do take things things in a bad way. I only said that it's not abnormal or perverted for a guy to want see a pretty girl naked specially when he is expressing this to another male. What where you doing going through his post, does he know you did that? And that would kinda make you a snoop, don't you think he will get mad at that. In fact I think that's worst! And yes I am very aware of the fact that there are plenty of gentlemen out there and I still say that a man who likes to see a pretty naked girl is not any less of a gentleman then one who would rather golf on his bachelor party....hi hi hi...sorry I could just barely say that with a straight face....Anyway, I would be more concerned with him thinking your a psycho when he finds out you've been snooping around on him..... I think you should concentrate on your doing something about your "trust" issues before you can share your life with someone else. ah, just forget it girly, i did nothing wrong, everything is legit. Yes i have trust issues but that comes from my past, its just how it is. Thanks for trying to help, but this issue wont be clear to anyone unless they are in my shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlinterrupted Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Alright sweety but let me leave you with one more important bit of advice "let go of the past". Holding what someone else did to you against the next person can lead to no good. These "trust" issues only hurt you in the long run, no one else, only your self. If you cannot love with an open heart then it's not worth loving at all. b/t/w searching for your boyfriends post on the net is not too "legit" I'm really not trying to be rude or mean to you hun I'm just honest and I like to keep things real. Well good luck anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 it wasnt searchin!!!! he goes to these sites on my computer, i wanted to see what he goes to, because hes a DJ and i like to learn abotu this stuff. so it is legit! if he goes to them on my computer, why wouldnt i be allowed to just have a look too? Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Okay, I'm a woman and I have to say that in my opinion it is not "perverted" for a healthy young guy to say something like what your boyfriend said. And so what if he's attracted to a couple of girls he sees on a show on TV? What's the big deal? It's not like he has any intention of hooking up with them. My son is almost 23 and I've raised him with good morals and to respect women. He has a girlfriend of 3 years. They have very open communication and are in love. It doesn't bother her at all for him to say someone on tv is good-looking (or hot or whatever), and vice versa. I mean, it's realistic to think that everybody is going to see someone at one time or another that they think is attractive. It does not mean they love or respect YOU any less. And I know that he's looked at magazines such as Playboy from time to time (as has she). If you're comfortable with your sexuality and have good self-esteem these things won't get you all upset. But maybe some of that has to do with maturity and you will get there someday. For your sake, I hope so. If you continue to make a big deal out of such things, it will just make your boyfriend more secretive. Let him be who he is. If you can't handle it, look for another boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 ahh! you MISREAD EVERYTHING jesus! this is not a damn SELF ESTEEM ISSUE. this is an honesty issue. READ woman READ Link to post Share on other sites
Frodo Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Jalexy, You reall are making a mountain out of a molehill. All your boyfriend has done is expressed interest in two television personalities. They aren't even real people. It doesn't mean that he's a pervert, reads playboy, goes to strip clubs, or any of that other stuff you're pulling out of the blue. it only means that he likes women. Congratulations, you have a normal straight boyfriend. All straight men like seeing women. They may or may not look at porn depending on their personal values, but the physical desire is there, and there's nothing wrong with it. It's not disrespectful at all, unless you think that it's disrepectful for a man to like a woman. No no no. He's actually being respectful to you because he doesn't push these things on you. If he had porn lying around when you came by you'd probably feel insecure or uncomfortable. But it's not any different than if a girl has romance novels on her shelf. The important thing to remember is that there is a separation between a person's fantasy life and real life. And if he's going out with you, it means that he accepts you as a real person. The other stuff is meaningless fluff. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlinterrupted Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Jalexy, It was unrealistic to think that a young man would not be into those things and I really belive that if he did say something to the contrary it was simply out of fear that you would disapprove. It's pretty naiive of you to belive that a guy in his 20's would prefer to "golf" rather than to have some good old fashion fun with the guys....... Maybe you should re-read your own post and make sure your expressing your self correctly because your getting advice according to what you your self wrote. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 Originally posted by jalexy thanks for the idea, i just cannot beleive it! men actually lie because they are embarassed of being perverted? wow Look at your post Jalexy. If I was going to be treated like a pervert, I'd lie too. Don't you get it? And it's not necessarily that he's embarrased - hell, he's normal. But if he tells you the truth, you don't like that. If he tells you what you want to hear, you don't like that either. Sounds like this poor guy can't win. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 If your basing this on the comments he makes around you when he sees a naked girl on tv well then you should know that he is not going to be all "wow, look at them tit's" First of all, have you not read the umpteen zillion posts here from women who FLIP when their men look at photos of other women because they are terrified the men like the photos better? Secondly, you keep using the word 'perverted'. If, to you, a man who likes looking at naked woman and likes sex is 'perverted', then you got issues to work out. No point in biting people's heads off. They're telling you you're making too big a deal about it and they are right. You are over-reacting and that means there is a deeper issue here. Do you suspect he lies in other situations or are you just visiting the sins of former boyfriends on him? Do you have issues about sex being 'dirty'? Whatever you do, ask him before you accuse him. I'm never very impressed with someone who should know what sort of person I am but leaps to a negative assumption of me based on little or no evidence with no input from me. Jump down his throat on this and he will consider you unreasonable, and rightly so. Link to post Share on other sites
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