Not feeling hopeful today.

[brown_cow_eyez]

This is my first time posting a thread so bare with me.

I met a guy online in an online poker app. a little over a year ago. We've been through some major stuff together and hes always been there for me. Here lately though it feels like my instincts are telling me that there is something else going on.

It's very hard to explain so if I confuse anyone let me know.

He's my best friend and I love him dearly. Note: I've never met him and he lives in California which is like 2400 miles away.

We argue constantly anymore about some of the stupidest shi*t and he breaks up with me probably everyother week or so. I go and add multible guys to my myspace which is completely childish and moreso a cry for attention from him. ANYWAY

Lately he doesnt say I love you to me, he doesnt spend so much time online with me, he fights with me about everything, He hardly ever answers his cell when I call.. Does anyone else think that the sudden changes are weird?

We never talk about meeting.. I do but he wants me to come there. I have two children from my previous marriage and its not likely that I can travel without them. Plus I really dont want to travel 2400 miles and be alone in a huge city if things dont work out.

Ive mentioned buying web cams and even offered to buy him an inexpensive one if he will consider using it and he says "no." Thats a big step for me but Im willing to do it because I love him and am scared to death hes not going to find me attractive IRL but Im not sure how to convince him that its private because he says its "not a private thing".

I only have a handful of pictures from him and he has about 200 of me and about 30 videos..Hes going out with his friends gettin drunk at their houses and their friends houses and doesnt want me out at clubs once a weekend or so.

This whole thing just doesnt seem fair to me anymore. It just seems like its lacking honesty.. Maybe its me projecting some of the unfair and unhonest things ive done to him and getting paranoid.

Sorry I suppose this turned into a post about me letting out my frustrations.

lol someone feel free to agree,disagree,tell me Im not alone or just comment.. whatever.

[sunflower89]

It's irrational to be even thinking about meeting until you both get a webcam. Coming from someone who has lied to people on the internet (i'm not proud but my story may help you) it is very easy to use other peoples photos.

 

I did, for many months, leading multiple people on, promising to meet them when obviously I couldn't and sending fake photos to people. Why wont he buy a webcam?

 

 

He is backing away from you it seems, and you need to find out why. You seem to be fighting an insane amount which isn't good for a healthy relationship, especially a LDR one where you can't see eachother face to face to resolve fights. He seems controlling and I don't think he is being honest with you.

 

I'm really sorry but this relationship does not seem healthy, nor do I see a future in it. I hope I'm wrong, but I know too much about lying and fakers to have much hope for you and him.

 

I'd suggest telling him that he NEEDS to get a webcam if you do persue this relationship, although I would be seriously considering leaving him if I were you.

[brown_cow_eyez]

*sigh

I started this post so I might as well be honest. He is a little on the controling side. He's also quick to be rude and name call..etc. I honestly didnt know someone could do so much wrong in a relationship.

I've actually been quite pushy on the web cam subject the last week but it isn't really getting me anything he still says "hell no."

Somedays I'm ready to quit but I always end up back online or calling him and vice versa. We love to hate each other sometimes.

Like I said though Lately it just feels like something is off.. I want to play it as paranoia but its not easy. Maybe he and I should take a break with things .. I dont know exactly whats going on in my head at the moment lol

I think youre exactly right with the web cam though I don't see what the big deal is Im not asking him to get naked and do insane things Im just asking for a video chat. Especially if we are going to meet.

[Rollercoasterr]

Lord honey don't you know that we Kentucky girls don't take that crap from no one?

 

Really. If you sense that something is up, it more than likely is. The webcam issue is a big one for me. It always seems to come up, and it's such a teeny tiny little thing. The webcam doesn't have to be used on a constant basis, but it helps in the fact that you'll know who you're talking to. After that you can use it or not, it's up to the couple. Mathew and I love it(mostly cause we like to make silly faces at each other), but I can see how some people don't. His unwillingness to do something so small is enough for me to end the relationship. If he's like that on small issues now, the issues will only get bigger and bigger.

 

Also, if he's rude and name calling to you then he definatly needs an attitude adjustment.

 

I realize that you're just ranting because you said you were, but I think I'd really consider kicking this one to the curb.

[brown_cow_eyez]

lol I wish I could post his good morning to me.. its going to be a fun day with him :|.

He has an unwillingness to send me pictures too. I think it has a lot to do with his physical appearance since hes changed a lot since we first started talking. No big deal to me. I told him that too (the not using it on a regular basis)

Maybe he's pulling away because the last month or so I've started "gettin lippy" as he calls it..lol but I am a Kentucky girl as you said and can only take so much.

I'm at that point where I want to see him and think that I deserve the same that I give him. I give him pictures and videos and I want whats due to me. The old "my camera button is broken" excuse aint workin' , since I know his mother has a camera she brings EVERYTIME she visits him.

[Rollercoasterr]

My fiance likes to make fun of me when I get mad cause he says I talk more country. Well, maybe I do. But he knows not to mess with me when I get really angry. My brother-in-law is actually terrified of making my sister angry because my dad told him that there were enough mountains around that no one would ever, ever find his body. Maybe your guy needs to have that speech as well.

 

And what's wrong with his appearance? Does he look like a MAC truck ran into his face? If not, then his excuses are just excuses. If you love someone and are planning a future with them, then they will see you at much worse appearances than what you are right now. Looks fade, and they WILL fade. The goal is to find that person who looks at you when you're 80 and still sees the person they first fell in love with. That's true love.

[Computer Chip]

I keep my meetings brief with my girl because she will be disappointed when we meet.

 

I dont know if she will have sex with me. She doesn't think of me the same way like I think of her.

[brown_cow_eyez]

lol hes gotten chubbier..which I think is cute but eh if he thinks its not cool and wants to blame me for it .. oh well. lol Yea he loves to laugh at me when I'm mad and call me a hillbilly :| I'll try to give him the "Its Kentucky we'll hide your body" speech again, Hes from California though and I think he underestimates us country "hillbillys"

He has a huge attitude problem though.. he also has a drinking problem. Despite those problems we are still together though. *bows and takes credit*

[Raderick]

lol hes gotten chubbier..which I think is cute but eh if he thinks its not cool and wants to blame me for it .. oh well. lol Yea he loves to laugh at me when I'm mad and call me a hillbilly :| I'll try to give him the "Its Kentucky we'll hide your body" speech again, Hes from California though and I think he underestimates us country "hillbillys"

He has a huge attitude problem though.. he also has a drinking problem. Despite those problems we are still together though. *bows and takes credit*

 

It seems that he's very insecure with himself more than anything. So when or if you see him, he will think you don't want to date him because he is chubby. If that isn't an issue to you, tell him that.

[brown_cow_eyez]

I do tell him that. His insecurities cause a lot of problems. Hes always thinking that I'm trying to find someone else because he isn't good enough. I always try to tell him he's it , I love him.

[Rollercoasterr]

lol hes gotten chubbier..which I think is cute but eh if he thinks its not cool and wants to blame me for it .. oh well. lol Yea he loves to laugh at me when I'm mad and call me a hillbilly :| I'll try to give him the "Its Kentucky we'll hide your body" speech again, Hes from California though and I think he underestimates us country "hillbillys"

He has a huge attitude problem though.. he also has a drinking problem. Despite those problems we are still together though. *bows and takes credit*

 

I tried to get my fiance to come in for Hillbilly Days, but no dice on that.

 

A little weight is nothing. Take older people for example. My great aunt and uncle were GORGEOUS people back in the 40's. I mean, really. My Aunt Pearl was a knockout. At the time of her death she had gained about 100 pounds and didn't look a thing like what she did in those pictures. My uncle either. But I thought it was so sad because the last time I saw her was a day before she died and my uncle was holding her hand and she was telling him that he looked so handsome in his army uniform. I guess that in her final moments she was delusional and seeing those things. He told her he'd be wearing it in heaven for her. Brought tears to everyone in the rooms eyes.

 

Men are so weird sometimes. If they put on 10 pounds you'd think it was the end of the world for them. But I guess girls are the same way.

 

Don't let him be mean to you. There are tons of guys all over the world who would love to tell you sweet things and not treat you like crap. This guy is just an ass from start to finish. You would think that if he thinks he's so horrible because he's gotten chubby that he would want to make up for that part by being a nicer person or making you fall so madly in love with him that you'd never notice the weight. Instead he does this...

[brown_cow_eyez]

I don't think so, Thats why I love being online so much. People don't judge so harshly by looks.. I don't anyway I see it as an opportunity to get to know the person. He's just gotten to be a big bully. Everytime I have a problem he somehow manages to twist it around and make me feel guilty and make me apologize.. wtf right? He doesn't like any of my friends or doesn't want me to talk to guys ( I understand that since I get jealous myself.) This morning I didnt say "good morning" so he woke up and said something along the lines of "Wow, youre being a b!tch this morning not a f#cking peep out of you." I guess I wouldnt be on this site if I wasn't a little tired of it.

[Raderick]

I don't think so, Thats why I love being online so much. People don't judge so harshly by looks.. I don't anyway I see it as an opportunity to get to know the person. He's just gotten to be a big bully. Everytime I have a problem he somehow manages to twist it around and make me feel guilty and make me apologize.. wtf right? He doesn't like any of my friends or doesn't want me to talk to guys ( I understand that since I get jealous myself.) This morning I didnt say "good morning" so he woke up and said something along the lines of "Wow, youre being a b!tch this morning not a f#cking peep out of you." I guess I wouldnt be on this site if I wasn't a little tired of it.

 

Run.

 

Run like the wind.

[Rollercoasterr]

Yeah, really girl. Run as fast as you can. The second that you two get in person together it isn't going to get better. It's going to get worse. I fear for your future if you do continue with him. There is no reason for him to act like this, chubby or not.

[bettedaviseyes]

brown cow eyes, I'm going through something similar, only I don't have children. Its made me into an emotional wreck when he would not answer my calls, text or instant messages, even if I see he is online. I feel silly that I have sent him more pictures than he sends me. We've talked about meeting, but I doubt that will ever happen. Watch out for these sudden changes, because he might be going through something, and you don't know, or he might just end up being a jerk. I loved my long distance boyfriend, but he would always ignore me, and the feeling isn't right. I hope you gain enough strength and brace yourself for whats to come next. Good luck with it.

[carvidep]

Brown cow eyez, listen to these people. After reading your first post, everything sounded wrong. Red flags all over the place. I don't trust him one bit, and I don't think you should either. Plus, do you want someone that rude and manipulative around your kids?

 

He doesn't deserve any of your time.

[Island Girl]

I met a guy online in an online poker app. a little over a year ago. We've been through some major stuff together and hes always been there for me.

 

You have invested time and feel that you have had someone there through troubling times.

 

The danger always is that TERRIBLE behavior - abusive behavior - will be excused away because of these things.

 

I see you in this trap already. And it saddens me.

 

He's my best friend and I love him dearly.

 

SORRY. But this isn't true.

 

You can say - you can think it - but it isn't true.

 

Someone who is your FRIEND would not set you up with double standards, treat you the way that he does (which again is HORRIBLE), shut you down, and not give you what you really need in your life.

 

We argue constantly anymore about some of the stupidest shi*t and he breaks up with me probably everyother week or so.

 

He breaks up with you every other week?!! And you get back into this relationship?!!

 

By doing this he constantly puts you in a position of anxiety. You are much easier to control when you have underlying angst and your self esteem is getting blow after blow.

 

It is a classic abuser pattern where you somehow cling to the idea that you really are lucky and you are to blame for any issues.

 

I read through this whole thread and was shocked at how he treats you. You write it like it is "just something you deal with and everyone has problem" -- like this is minor.

 

IT ISN'T.

 

You do not have someone committed to you or your well being. You have a relationship with a man that is abusive and controlling. AND it is long distance --- I can't even imagine what you would go through if you were together in person! Sheesh!

 

Lately he doesnt say I love you to me, he doesnt spend so much time online with me, he fights with me about everything, He hardly ever answers his cell when I call.. Does anyone else think that the sudden changes are weird?

 

Yes. It is weird and terrible.

 

Yet you stay.

 

He doesn't have to show you kindness or common courtesy and respect to have you there as a constant.

You are his whipping post and it seems as though you thank him for the privilege.

You are taking pride in sticking something out that should have been abandoned LONG ago.

 

Why do you not think you deserve to be treated better?

 

Don't you think you should get back AT LEAST as good as you give?!

 

We never talk about meeting.. I do but he wants me to come there. I have two children from my previous marriage and its not likely that I can travel without them. Plus I really dont want to travel 2400 miles and be alone in a huge city if things dont work out.

 

Ahhh here we go at how caring he is about you and your responsibilities.

You have valid reasons for not going there. (There are the ones you listed here not to mention he is an insecure, abusive, narcissistic jackass who I wouldn't trust to care for a fish, unless I wanted to see it hooked, battered, and fried, let alone ME).

 

Ive mentioned buying web cams and even offered to buy him an inexpensive one if he will consider using it and he says "no." Thats a big step for me but Im willing to do it because I love him and am scared to death hes not going to find me attractive IRL but Im not sure how to convince him that its private because he says its "not a private thing".

 

He should be just as bought in as you are on all this. He isn't. Yet another tell tale sign that he is not as invested as you are - he is unwilling to accommodate your needs (and this is just a webcam!) in anyway.

 

He is uncompromising and his world is all about him.

 

 

I only have a handful of pictures from him and he has about 200 of me and about 30 videos..

 

WHY have you extended yourself so much when you get NOTHING.

 

And I am not just talking about the pics/videos. This is just indicative of the happenings in the relationship.

 

Hes going out with his friends gettin drunk at their houses and their friends houses and doesnt want me out at clubs once a weekend or so.

 

For a person to control another - one person has to give over their personal control.

This is unfair and you know it.

 

But I doubt you have ever said, "If you have a problem with it then it is your problem. Deal with it however you are going to. If this is a deal breaker for you then so be it. But I will not EVER be treated as less than you, secondary to you, or in anyway other than what I am. EQUAL!"

 

This whole thing just doesnt seem fair to me anymore. It just seems like its lacking honesty.. Maybe its me projecting some of the unfair and unhonest things ive done to him and getting paranoid.

 

It doesn't seem fair because it isn't.

 

You have excused things other women would have RUN from. I am sure like all abusive relationships that it certainly didn't start out as bad as it is now.

It started small and has grown into this massive self destructive and painful relationship.

 

I feel for you. I completely and totally do.

 

But you have got to put a stop to it. He will treat you the way you allow him to.

 

*sigh

I started this post so I might as well be honest. He is a little on the controling side. He's also quick to be rude and name call..etc.

 

Not surprising.

 

What is surprising is why you are still coming back for more.

 

I honestly didnt know someone could do so much wrong in a relationship.

 

I really hope you are talking about HIM.

 

The only thing you have done wrong is taking him back and sticking around for more of the same.

 

I've actually been quite pushy on the web cam subject the last week but it isn't really getting me anything he still says "hell no."

 

He sounds so giving and understanding. It is so great that he'll do anything to make you happy! :mad::mad::mad:

 

OMG what a jackass.

 

Somedays I'm ready to quit but I always end up back online or calling him and vice versa. We love to hate each other sometimes.

 

It is an unhealthy relationship.

 

And I suspect - actually your posts have shown - that you do the majority of the loving and he does the majority of the hating.____

 

lol I wish I could post his good morning to me.. its going to be a fun day with him :|.

 

How many of these have you suffered through?

 

Obviously enough for there to be a clear pattern to you.

 

He has an unwillingness to send me pictures too. I think it has a lot to do with his physical appearance since hes changed a lot since we first started talking. No big deal to me. I told him that too (the not using it on a regular basis)

 

He is having insecurity issues. BIG DEAL.

You have expressed here too that you have insecurities about him seeing you. But you are WILLING to do it for the sake of the relationship.

 

HE IS NOT WILLING TO DO JACK.

 

Maybe he's pulling away because the last month or so I've started "gettin lippy" as he calls it..lol but I am a Kentucky girl as you said and can only take so much.

 

Seriously. I am probably the biggest B*YATCH here.

 

That will NEVER result in my husband getting a "pass" to back away from his responsibility in this relationship.

 

I will never "take" constant ill behavior. Especially venomous attacks that are just meant to destroy my self esteem with hurtful comments or intentional withholding of oneself doled out like "punishment".

That in itself is condescending and abusive (really - ask a therapist and they'll tell you).

 

I'm at that point where I want to see him and think that I deserve the same that I give him. I give him pictures and videos and I want whats due to me. The old "my camera button is broken" excuse aint workin' , since I know his mother has a camera she brings EVERYTIME she visits him.

 

YES!!!! I think so too!!! I think you deserve the same as you are willing to give. Honey, this just ain't the guy that is going to. And the more time you waste on HIM the less time you'll have with that guy that will treat you right -- and he is out there somewhere!

 

lol hes gotten chubbier..which I think is cute but eh if he thinks its not cool and wants to blame me for it .. oh well. lol Yea he loves to laugh at me when I'm mad and call me a hillbilly :| I'll try to give him the "Its Kentucky we'll hide your body" speech again, Hes from California though and I think he underestimates us country "hillbillys"

He has a huge attitude problem though.. he also has a drinking problem. Despite those problems we are still together though. *bows and takes credit*

 

Read the bolded parts above.

 

Imagine your child saying the same thing about their boyfriend or girlfriend's behavior. What would you advise them to do? And would you stand by and watch them being treated the same way you are?

 

I understand the spirit of the "*bows and takes credit*" comment. Yes you do get all of the credit for staying as long as you have.

 

But there is a voice stating in my head, "how bad have things actually gotten for you to find pride in being kicked around for a year and "taking it"?

 

I do tell him that. His insecurities cause a lot of problems. Hes always thinking that I'm trying to find someone else because he isn't good enough. I always try to tell him he's it , I love him.

 

Another abuser tactic. He has manipulated you into a position where he can brow beat you and abuse you but you constantly reassure him and stroke his ego.

 

Classic.

 

He's just gotten to be a big bully.

 

He has systematically become withholding, manipulative, and abusive along with his other very clear problems.

 

Sadly you have allowed this to become part of your life.

 

Everytime I have a problem he somehow manages to twist it around and make me feel guilty and make me apologize.. wtf right?

 

Again classic abuser trait. Boy this guy has these things going in spades. __

 

He doesn't like any of my friends or doesn't want me to talk to guys ( I understand that since I get jealous myself.)

 

Imagine if you were in person. He is the guy that will systematically cut all of your support people out of your life so all you have is HIM and then brow beat you constantly and have you feeling so worthless that you tell yourself you are *lucky* to have him because nobody else would want you. --- And he'd remind you of that too.

 

This morning I didnt say "good morning" so he woke up and said something along the lines of "Wow, youre being a b!tch this morning not a f#cking peep out of you." I guess I wouldnt be on this site if I wasn't a little tired of it.

 

How sweet right? Don't you just want to call your friends and tell them what a wonderful and caring man he is?!!!

 

Jimminy Christmas this guy is such a tool.

 

I think you deserve so much better. I just can't understand for the life of me how you excuse his behavior, actions, and inactions. Is it just for the sake of having a relationship? As in - any relationship is better than nothing?

 

I can tell you that isn't true.

 

Sorry so long everyone. This guy chaps my hide!

[xpaperxcutx]

I have nothing to add since Island_Girl gave you enough tough love for you to come to your senses. You're making the pictures and the webcam the main problem when it's in fact his attitude and the way he treats you. You being a southern girl should know more than enough how a gentleman actually treats a lady, right? Even if it's the electronic age, it's still no excuse for you to take this kind of abuse.

 

Don't make excuses for his behaviour, it's not his weight gain, neither is it his insecurity about his weight gain.

[Island Girl]

I was reading through one of the other threads and you said you admire me.

 

But I can tell you that the entire reason that I wait for my husband and stay faithful is because of how kind, thoughtful, considerate (after 6+ years he still takes time to thank me for "good conversations" each time we have them), and accepting he is of me. All of those things and so much more.

That is why I wait.

 

In the beginning there were a couple times he tried to pull some crap -- nothing to the degree you have put here -- and I told him exactly what I will tell you now:

 

"If you want to act like a jackass you make yourself completely replaceable. I can throw a rock down the street and hit ten just like you. I can walk into any bar in the world and find one of you.

 

What makes you SPECIAL is the way you treat ME."

 

 

I can not find a man more wonderful and devoted.

 

You deserve nothing less.

 

The only thing a bad guy like this does really well is keep a good guy from being there to treat you right.

[Rollercoasterr]

Go tell it on the mountain, Island Girl!!!

 

If my fiance pulled that crap on me I'd have his balls as a christmas tree decoration. I have ZERO tolerance for bull**** and even less for lying and disrespectful men. I don't understand how any woman can think this is all she deserves.

[brown_cow_eyez]

I realize and agree with everything you've said Island Girl. He did some crap to me today that I didnt like at all and actually wouldn't have cared if he never talked to me again. " talk to me when you re-read a few times, and deliver a heartfelt apology about ALL of this backtalk. until then, you're done as far as i'm concerned. now f#ck off.you're on "time out."

All this because I didnt say good morning. I recognize this as abuse and as him trying and probably sucessfully controling me. Island Girl you actually guessed good about him making me feel like Im lucky to be with him because he has told me on more than one occasion "You are so f#cking lucky to have me, and I dont even need your *****" to which I reply with "No you are lucky that you have me and I put up with this bull*****" I asked .. no almost demanded the webcam today and he flat out refused.

I do get so tired and so overwhelmed by the stress of this thing he and I have going and it doesnt seem like it will ever get any better.

I see some of his double standards and I cant stand it! Im sure all of you guys reading this want to know "If you see it and recognize it then wtf are you sticking around?" Honestly I dont know. I have that fighter attitude and dont want to give up, or maybe because I keep hoping that it will go back to the way it was?

We've broken up and I've dated other guys he knows this and ultimately makes me feel so guilty for it, and makes me apologize for it endlessly. I've let go of some good friendships because they were guys and he didnt like them (and one of them way gay btw)

I guess maybe in the past he was my best friend and Id love to sit here and convience myself that he still is. If he was though I suppose that Id be comfortable enough talking to him about this instead of you guys. I guess Im stuck in the past.

[carvidep]

I realize and agree with everything you've said Island Girl. He did some crap to me today that I didnt like at all and actually wouldn't have cared if he never talked to me again. " talk to me when you re-read a few times, and deliver a heartfelt apology about ALL of this backtalk. until then, you're done as far as i'm concerned. now f#ck off.you're on "time out."

All this because I didnt say good morning. I recognize this as abuse and as him trying and probably sucessfully controling me. Island Girl you actually guessed good about him making me feel like Im lucky to be with him because he has told me on more than one occasion "You are so f#cking lucky to have me, and I dont even need your *****" to which I reply with "No you are lucky that you have me and I put up with this bull*****" I asked .. no almost demanded the webcam today and he flat out refused.

I do get so tired and so overwhelmed by the stress of this thing he and I have going and it doesnt seem like it will ever get any better.

I see some of his double standards and I cant stand it! Im sure all of you guys reading this want to know "If you see it and recognize it then wtf are you sticking around?" Honestly I dont know. I have that fighter attitude and dont want to give up, or maybe because I keep hoping that it will go back to the way it was?

We've broken up and I've dated other guys he knows this and ultimately makes me feel so guilty for it, and makes me apologize for it endlessly. I've let go of some good friendships because they were guys and he didnt like them (and one of them way gay btw)

I guess maybe in the past he was my best friend and Id love to sit here and convience myself that he still is. If he was though I suppose that Id be comfortable enough talking to him about this instead of you guys. I guess Im stuck in the past.

 

This guy has really gotten into your head, and you need to get away from him. The fact that he convinced you to let go of your friendship with even a gay guy is just way too controlling. You're changing your life to fit his. And these changes are obviously not ones that you like.

 

If I remember correctly from reading earlier in this thread, you have not yet met this guy in person, right? And no webcam. You're making all of these changes for a guy you've never actually met or seen? Pictures are not enough.

 

Get your priorities in line. You need to be your own priority #1, along with your kids. Then concentrate on prying his sticky tentacles off of you one by one.

[Mei Mei]

You have paid alot to an undeserved one. Do love yourself more, stand again and find a more reciprocal lover:bunny:

[brown_cow_eyez]

this morning (2am) he said he didnt know how much more he could take.. lol (seriously how much more he could take?) I used Island girls statement about me deserving more I guess I can share exactly what I said and then Ill tell you his reaction.

Nancy: If you want to act like a jackass you make yourself completely replaceable. I can throw a rock down the street and hit ten just like you. I can walk into any bar in the world and find one of you.

What makes you SPECIAL is the way you treat ME.

and quite honestly .. you just arent cutting it anymore. I run over you?

"I dont like so-so you shouldnt even want to talk to them" Well f#cking guess what! f#cking aparently I WANT to talk to so-so or I wouldnt do it would I? I want to go out ytf cant I .. I go to a public place with friends.. you go hang around with people Ill NEVER know. At least Im honest with you about everything. You are a controling *******. WHAT gives you the f#cking right to run over ME ? I never cheated on you.. and you cant say I did. You however are a completely different story because you try to act perfect... everyone is hiding something I just never found you out.The webcam, the pictures, doing ANYTHING I ask you to do you wont. I give, give, f#cking give and all you do is take and hardly EVER contribute a kind word in the end. Wow.. as much as I hate to and know its going to hurt ME not you but me.. because I do actually give a f#ck about you.. Im finished. Ill try my best not to contact you again.

Of course all that was spaced into a few messages but his reaction to the 1st part was to get mad and not open his eyes and take my side of things into consideration like he would do if in fact he did love me,right? I hate being in a one sided love story. It's pretty depressing. I know he doesn't care the way I do now I just have to keep myself from talking to him via messenger or telephone. I also ask myself a very important question. What would happen if we were in person? Would it take him days,weeks, or months to show me the same quick anger and brush off that he shows now? I gotta say that you guys helped open my eyes a bit and I'm really trying to let this go but its so hard.

[KikiW]

GOOD FOR YOU!

 

This guy is a LOSER. He contributed only negatives to the relationship. You are just lucky you didn't waste your time, money or energy going and visiting him in person.

 

Delete his information from your computer, delete from your cellphone. He will never add anything positive to your life, only give you problems, so slough him off like dead skin and start fresh. If he tries to call, hang up. If he emails, read it, laugh, then delete it. Any "apology" he might try to make will be simply to position you back into the role you had, not to make anything better.

 

GOOD JOB, now stick to you guns! Remember, the minute you let your guard down or consider giving him a second chance, he will see it as a crack he can exploit and worm his way back in. He gets off on being an ******* to you, because you took it for so long. So don't give him the chance again and you will be just fine