Does he want this or not? So lost!

[maxime]

Hey everybody!

 

So...I have a bit of a confusing situation with this guy.

 

He's a friend of a good friend, super attractive, really nice, talented musician, awesome guy. We went out a while ago and had a lot of fun. Then, that same night, we went back to his place and had sex. I was totally cool with that, it was pretty understood when we went out that sex was something we were both very interested in. I just got out of a serious relationship [5 years!] and I'm not looking for anything more than sex, and I know he is too and that's fine by me!

 

Anyway, we had sex, slept together, and it was all very comfortable and nice. About 3 days later he sent me a text saying "you wore me out the other night", I think I blushed a little, haha. Here's my question though, I sent him a text after that, being flirtatious, telling him I've been thinking about the other night, how fun it was, etc...and he still hasn't responded. When he texts/calls me it's always at really weird times, like 6:00 AM or 8:30 AM! Makes it really hard to talk to him especially cause I'm so busy myself.

 

Do you guys think I should call him or text him again, making it clear what I want from him? Or do you think I should keep playing it cool...or just start drinking lots of coffee and staying up until 6:00 AM everynight, haha...

 

Thanks for reading!

 

PS: Almost forgot, he has a girlfriend. Yeah, I'm not too stoked about that but whatever. I'm not sure how serious it is, I've heard that they don't get along too well. Honestly, I'm not trying to be a homewrecker, not interested in being anyone's girl right now, and honestly, I don't really want to judge him either, he's just a booty call pretty much [and I always use protection so not worried about putting myself at risk].

[Shock Me Sane]

Being that he has a girlfriend, I would either forget about him or just wait until he contacts you at a normal hour.

 

I mean, breakfast booty calls don't sound very appealing to me, but if you really want to be hooking up at such an ungodly hour, then I guess that's your prerogative.

 

Or... next time you feel like hooking up, text him and tell him so. Don't contact him otherwise.

 

If his girlfriend lives with him and that's what you meant by homewrecker, I would definitely move on. That's not cool.

[maxime]

Being that he has a girlfriend, I would either forget about him or just wait until he contacts you at a normal hour.

 

I mean, breakfast booty calls don't sound very appealing to me, but if you really want to be hooking up at such an ungodly hour, then I guess that's your prerogative.

 

Or... next time you feel like hooking up, text him and tell him so. Don't contact him otherwise.

 

If his girlfriend lives with him and that's what you meant by homewrecker, I would definitely move on. That's not cool.

 

Well, that text wasn't for a booty call, it was just to flirt...I just don't know why he sent it so early, or late. Is it weird to contact him just for sex? I just don't wanna come of as needy or something, ha, I am kinda stressing out over him but I don't want him to know that! I don't even know what I would say. No, he doesn't live with her, I just meant homewrecker in a general sense.

[maxime]

I dont think that was an early morning booty call, pretty sure he was just flirting. I know he keeps really late hours [musician and all] so could be he was still up from the night before, who knows, maybe it was just a time when his girl wouldn't be awake to ask who he was texting.

 

Would it be weird to text him saying that I just want to hook up? I just don't wanna come off as needy or something, you know, for texting him more than he's texting me?

 

And no, he doesn't live with her, I just meant homewrecker in a general sense.

[Awesome84]

Maxime, I actually get the feeling that you DO kinda like this guy even though you say you are in it for just sex. Either way... you shouldn't go down the 'casual' path. I went there before with a friend, and I was kind of in the same situation as you... I was 3 months out of a 7 year relationship, and this friend of mine had a girlfriend. While we were doing the 'casual' thing... he and his girlfriend broke-up (they were already having problems) and I suddenly realized that I had feelings for him... anyhow... after a couple more months of 'just having sex'.... I found out that he started dating another girl and things got serious with them and I was heartbroken.

 

I think if you want to 'have fun' and enjoy being single... leave the sex part out of it and just date single guys. Just because you don't want anything serious right now doesn't mean that you can't have fun without having sex.

 

Anyway... I'm just giving you my advice from experience. Obviously you are free to make your own choices.

 

Also... don't make excuses for him.... that he's a musician so that's why he texts you at odd hours.... Even if it IS just sex.... respect should still be followed.

[maxime]

Maxime, I actually get the feeling that you DO kinda like this guy even though you say you are in it for just sex. Either way... you shouldn't go down the 'casual' path. I went there before with a friend, and I was kind of in the same situation as you... I was 3 months out of a 7 year relationship, and this friend of mine had a girlfriend. While we were doing the 'casual' thing... he and his girlfriend broke-up (they were already having problems) and I suddenly realized that I had feelings for him... anyhow... after a couple more months of 'just having sex'.... I found out that he started dating another girl and things got serious with them and I was heartbroken.

 

I think if you want to 'have fun' and enjoy being single... leave the sex part out of it and just date single guys. Just because you don't want anything serious right now doesn't mean that you can't have fun without having sex.

 

Anyway... I'm just giving you my advice from experience. Obviously you are free to make your own choices.

 

Also... don't make excuses for him.... that he's a musician so that's why he texts you at odd hours.... Even if it IS just sex.... respect should still be followed.

 

I think you might be right. I think maybe I just want him to get back to me so that I don't feel like what I did was for nothing [sleeping with him], I really didn't just want a ONS. I'm really upset because tonight I found out that he's playing a concert that a bunch of my friends are seeing and neither our mutual friend nor he invited me...I pretty much feel like that's him saying he doesn't want to see me again. Although could just be that his girlfriend is going to the show or something, I don't know. Not sure what I should do. Considering this, do you think I should try to reach him, wait for him, or just forget about it?

[Shock Me Sane]

If he didn't invite you, don't go.

 

If your friends invited you, just go and ignore him.

 

He'll approach you if he wants to.

[maxime]

If he didn't invite you, don't go.

 

If your friends invited you, just go and ignore him.

 

He'll approach you if he wants to.

 

Neither of them invited me. I guess I'm not that surprised. I mean, if all this guy wants from me is a booty call, why would he invite me out places? But still, not really what I want.