Nervousness on my Wedding Night

[saluron]

Ok, yes i am new and need help, but before we get to it, i am guy and a Virgin ,23 years old, but my fiance is not, she's 26 and a dazzling beautiful woman. We have been together for 3 years. She is... you can say was a very "active" woman before she turned 23, but she changed her way of life after a certain incident. It was before she met me.

 

Now on to the topic. As you know she "was" a sexually active woman, and she isnt particularly shy. Now that doesn't mean she is a woman who sleeps with a lot of guys, well she was but now she doesn't. I am worried about the wedding night because she hasn't had any, i mean literally any sex for 3 years and she is anxious with our wedding night. As you know, im still a virgin and inexpereinced with sex, so im nervous if i would be able to satisfy her. Im not the usual guy who goes craving for sex too. She knows that and says sooo many lewd comments to me about the wedding night.

 

I told her that she's making me nervous with her comments on the wedding night, but she told me it's ok, and this is what she said exactly, in a you can say "sexy" voice with a "purr" here it is, "It's ok, i'll teach you everything, and i'll give you one of the best nights you will ever have.. there will be many more after too." So that calmed me down and had me looking forward to it.

 

Now when i woke up one day after she said that, i had one heck of a dream about her and had an erection. she was in the house at the same time too. We were at my parent's house. So i just woke up and noticed it, we didnt sleep in the same room, so as i was changing she walked in to wake me up and noticed it..(i know i should have locked the door) Now you know she isn't particularly shy, so she got close to me and things went well..... not so well, and now i am even more nervous..

 

Am i being overly nervous for no reason? She did assure me it's going to be fine and not to worry, but im still nervous i won't be able to meet her expectations. and what hints or tips can u give me on sex?

 

To clear any doubts u guys and women might have about me and my fiance, I have never cheated or lied to her at all, I ask her if she would rather hear the truth or she would rather not hear the truth and I really dont like liars because if u lie and get caught that person will never trust u completely. She has never cheated on me at all nor slept with anyone after she turned from her old life. We trust each other a lot.

[SoulSearch_CO]

To clear any doubts u guys and women might have about me and my fiance, I have never cheated or lied to her at all, I ask her if she would rather hear the truth or she would rather not hear the truth and I really dont like liars because if u lie and get caught that person will never trust u completely. She has never cheated on me at all nor slept with anyone after she turned from her old life. We trust each other a lot.

I'm not clear on the need for ^this^ paragraph. It relates to your problem...like...oh, not at all.

 

As for the rest of your post... It sounds to me like she's willing to teach you. With her experience, she'd know what it takes to "teach" someone and if it's worth it. It's clear she's really attracted to you and must care a lot about you.

 

Sex honestly is not THAT difficult. It's a base animal need, and pretty easy to figure out. It sounds like you are physically capable of sex (given the erection). As long as you're willing to learn and take equal concern for her needs, you should be good.

[Girlygal]

i agree, let her teach you, i think that is what excites her. And it is fairly simple ! Don't be nervous, let it come naturally.

[TudorII]

First off everyone is going to say don't be nervous but you know you will be and that is ok. But try and relax and enjoy the moment(s). Don't over think it. Sex is a learn as you go for everyone and no one is a porn star their first time. Let her show you want she wants and pay attention to what makes her feel good. If she isn't giving your directions then just explore her and enjoy her and look for her reactions so you will know when you are doing what does feel good to her. Don't rush either, sex is not just about penatration, that part will happen soon enough. Take the time to explore her, touch her, feel her, etc but not just the obvious spots. When the sex does happen try not to focus on just what you are feeling or you will likely climax much faster. Let's be honest first time out you will likely go quick but that is ok. Just remember that is not the end, you can keep playing and doing lots of other things until you are ready to go again. Just have fun and don't let your mind think too much aobut whether or not you are doing it right or if it is good...just enjoy your new wife and learn as you go. You have plenty of time to perfect your skills. Congrats and have fun.

[subdued]

Wow. That's a lot of pressure.

 

You should let her know that because it's the first time, you have been told that you may either have trouble getting an erection or you may come too quickly.

 

Most likely, you will come too quickly but be able to come multiple times, because you haven't been having sex and are still young. So I wouldn't worry about it too much. In fact, the more your lack of experience shows, the more she will enjoy the fact that she is your first and can show you what she likes.

[saluron]

Thank you for your replies, those are good advice. I am less nervous now after reading your replies. But then.. my fiance found this thread(i bookmarked it like an idiot). She made fun of me a bit and teased me, but she reassured me it's going to be fine. She told me to not worry about if i can please her or not, then she said she's happy that my first time is with her and she's happy to pop my cherry. Im not even sure what that means but im thinking it means she's happy to take my virginity away??

 

So yes, im not as nervous or not at all nervous anymore. I think i would have been thinking a bit too much if it wasnt for your advice and my fiance finding this. and yes soul search CO after i read your comment the paragraph doesnt really need to be there at all, lol.

[Amazon B]

yes it means she's happy about being your first and taking your virginity. i think it's nice that she is reassuring you. i'm sure you will be nervous on the night, but now that she knows you are nervous there is no reason to pretend you are not, which will take some pressure off.

 

one added thing: in my opinion, it might actually be easier for you to be with a woman with prior experience than with a fellow virgin. men tend to think that a woman with experience will put more pressure on them, but i believe that's not true. a fellow virgin, inexperienced, might have romanticized ideas, high expectations of you and her wedding night. you implied that your fiance has been with several men, therefore it's more likely she will know all about awkward sex, premature ejaculation and the like...trust me, she doesn't have ONLY glowing high-octane sex stories to tell, she's got plenty of the other as well.

 

she has said she loves you and wants to be your guide. let her be your guide. the good news is, she will be able to teach you exactly what she likes right from the start.

 

also, i am with soulsearch that the last paragraph in your firstpost was...weird. it really came out of nowhere, guy, and it had nothing to do with your actual problem. that's the kind of thing that makes people wonder if there's also some other problem that you're not sure how to bring up.

 

anyway, good luck to you and congratulations.

[SoulSearch_CO]

But then.. my fiance found this thread(i bookmarked it like an idiot). She made fun of me a bit and teased me, but she reassured me it's going to be fine. She told me to not worry about if i can please her or not, then she said she's happy that my first time is with her and she's happy to pop my cherry. Im not even sure what that means but im thinking it means she's happy to take my virginity away??

:lmao: LMFAO. This made my night. hahaha Yes - to "pop" one's cherry means to take their virginity. It was first used exclusively to describe taking a girl/woman's virginity - referring to breaking the hymen with the penis. It's an archaic belief considering that a girl can have no hymen at all and still be a virgin.

 

I think it's kinda cute that she reassured you even after reading the thread. LOL

[Dean Graziosi]

Hi,

 

Now here is your perfect solution:

 

10 Sex Tips for a Magical Wedding Night

 

There's a general national myth about wedding nights; supposedly, every bride and groom have the most intimate and wonderful sex of their lives on their wedding nights. In reality, while your wedding night may be a little different, it is an intimate moment, and an opportunity. Here are ten tips that can help make your wedding night one of the best evenings of your life.

 

1. Take things slowly

Savor this moment. While you may be a little too tired to have the most technically excellent sex of your lives, this is likely to be among your most romantic and intimate sexual experiences.

 

2. Lower your expectations

So this may not be the most amazing sex you've ever had. So what? Try to just enjoy whatever happens.

 

3. Read some sex books

Who couldn't use a little advice from the experts? Some to try: The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man and Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men.

 

4. Talk to each other

Spend some time relaxing, talking about the wedding, and about your love for each other. Let things get romantic and sappy. The sex that follows will be intimate and amazing.

 

5. Expand your idea of the "wedding night"

If you're too tired for foreplay, that sex isn't going to be so great. Couldn't it be better to wait until the morning?

 

6. Flirt with each other during the wedding

It can be easy to spend the whole wedding greeting Aunt Sally and Cousin Bob, cutting the cake, and attending to a thousand other details. Don't forget to stop, stare into each other's eyes, share a few extra kisses, and flirt with each other. It will also help build the excitement for your alone time later.

 

7. Don't have sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the wedding

Many couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again. Others go even further by giving up sex months before the wedding so that they may be virgin-like on the wedding night.

 

8. Try something new

Perhaps there's been something you've been wanting to try? Your wedding night can be a fun night to experiment,

 

9. Wear something special

Wedding night lingerie can really help the mood. Pick something a little different than what you usually wear to excite your partner. Make sure you feel confident in it, as a confident lover is almost always a better lover.

 

10. Set the stage

Help yourselves get into the mood by setting the stage. Light some candles, bring some CDs and a radio, scatter rosepetals, or do whatever helps you get in the mood. And don't be afraid to kick friends and family out early. While they may tease you a little, they'll certainly understand!

 

thanks

[dunstable]

I'm baffled as to how you got to be 23 (3 years with a girl with experience) without having sex already. Is there a religious reason?

 

Her attitude to it all seems very healthy. Not so sure about yours, to be honest.

 

Young women don't normally orgasm from intercourse though it's great if they do. But they get huge pleasure from pleasing the man. She wiil probably get a huge kick from knowing it's your first time. The basic idea is that you are both very hot for each other and thrust against each other till the man ejaculates. She probably won't expect to orgasm from that but she will still greatly enjoy it. She will appreciate it if you give her an orgasm by hand or mouth either before or after.

 

Haven't you already given each other orgasms without intercourse -- hand, mouth, rubbing? If not, why not start with that?

 

Certainly don't worry about a failed previous attempt at intercourse. That's nearly always psychological. Most common reason is that the man associates sex with something dirty for whatever reason and he has a lot of respect for the girl. A really romantic setting can make it all much easier. It may help to remember that most women love sex -- they love it when a man uses their body for his pleasure and ejaculates inside them.

 

I'm sorry, I'm truly baffled by your post but maybe some of my random thoughts may prove helpful.