The alternative option to no contact

[Nuala83]

Here is my alternative advice to the no contact rule that you’ve probably heard mentioned a lot on this site. Now first of all I’m not berating the idea of no contact or anyone who wishes to follow that rule and I do believe that after a traumatic split a cooling off period is usually necessary. However I wanted to provide a different option for those who are looking for alternatives. A lot of it I think is just common sense but I’m posting it because I know there are a lot of people out there who are looking for advice on what to do after their breakup. There are also a lot of people who want to attempt reconciliation but don’t say so on the forum because they’re met with an “It never works” response. The following advice is not mine but a collection of snippets I’ve pasted together from various relationship books and websites I visited shortly after my break up. I wish I’d followed some of them not for reconciliation purposes but for preventing the further deterioration of the friendship which if reconciliation doesn’t work, you may want to salvage

 

By the way, this advice is aimed at the person who was dumped and NOT the dumper. Also it’s really only valid to relationships that were otherwise relatively healthy and not to ones where there were major issues (cheating for example) involved in the break up.

 

Let’s begin:

 

Act Happy

Don’t show any signs of being sad or depressed in front of them. This doesn’t mean going up to them and saying “my life’s fabulous now I’m sooo glad we’re finished”. It just means that if you should bump into your ex or if they decide to call you, you put on an appearance that everything is fine and dandy. This is an especially important rule if your ex found you to be clingy. No one wants to feel like they’re responsible for someone else’s happiness, so show them that they’re not. You don’t need them to be happy.

 

Stop reacting to their hostility

It’s not unknown for dumpers to react in a cold or hostile way to the dumpee after a break up even when the dumpee hasn’t done anything to deserve it. The natural thing to do is react angrily to this and demand to know why you’re being treated unfairly. I don’t know why the dumper feels this need to be cruel but I do know that when you react to it, you just make matters worse. Quite often you don’t get an answer for their behaviour and the more you push the more hostile and distant they get. Try if you can to see their lack of interest in seeing you as freedom and independence. If they tell you you can’t pick up the rest of your stuff from their place because they’re too busy, just tell them “that’s fine, we can sort that out another time”. You’re easy going, you’re cool, you’re calm and that should hopefully force your ex to stop fighting and start acting rationally.

 

Start dating

You’re not exactly trying to make your ex jealous here and whatever you do you should never announce to them that you’re dating but eventually they’re likely to find out and that will send them the message that you’re over them and you’re moving on. If they find out that you’ve started to date (let me stress that you should also never ask one of your friends to casually mention it to your ex in the hope of making him jealous) they might just start to think again about their decision. Dating will make you appear desirable yet unobtainable and that may well stir uncomfortable feelings within them.

 

Get out there and enjoy yourself

It’s really tough after a break up not to shut yourself away from the outside world and dwell on your misfortune but you can’t do that forever because it will not attract back your ex (if that’s what you’re after), it wont make you desirable to anyone new, it will start to alienate you from your friends and ultimately you’ll end up feeling more miserable than before. Of course you’re gonna be sad. You’ll be sad for a long time after the split but don’t wear that face in the outside world. You have to be responsible for your own happiness and one of the best ways to do this is to get out there, be with friends and family, meet new people, take up some hobbies, whatever! It will improve your self esteem and if your ex was always blaming you for their boredom, now that excuse has been taken away from them.

 

Stop needing them and fake indifference

Fake indifference about the breakup. It’s not what you wanted but it was their decision so that’s ok with you. Obviously it’s not ok but acting like you care too much is unlikely to work. Especially if they’ve told you there’s no chance they’ll change their mind and want you back. Scenario. They’ve broken up with you and they’re totally unfazed by the whole thing. You on the other hand are heartbroken, confused, hurt and angry. You cry, you get upset and you give off the impression that you’re desperate and you need them. You push and you push and you push and they back further and further away. When you act indifferent to the break up you stop becoming needy and instead come across as a mature rational person who although didn’t want the break up is willing to accept it and refuses to dwell.

 

Don’t call them

At least don’t be the one to always initiate the calls. If they phone you it’s fine to answer and its fine to return calls but don’t be at their beck and call. Your ex might be happy for the two of you to slip into a friend relationship where they call you as much as they used to; you go out all the time but with none of the perks of a relationship. If that’s what you want, fine. If not, don’t settle. Depending on how much the two of you used to chat on the phone, cut it right back. If they’re calling every day of the week, only be available to talk once or twice a week and even then only for a short time. You can chat, be happy to hear from them and be interested in what they have to say but you have a life to lead so always be the one to wrap up the call with a simple “It was nice to hear from you but I’ve got to go” or “I’m just on my way out now, we’ll chat another time”. Something to that effect. If on the other hand they’re not calling you at all, just leave them be for the moment. In a few weeks if they’ve still not phoned, you might want to call them up for a quick chat to see how they are. Keep it brief and friendly and see how that goes.

 

Stop telling them you love them

When they’ve dumped you and you’re saying “I love you” you’re trying to claw them back into a relationship they don’t want to be in. You’re saying to them I need you, I want you, please give me what I’m looking for. As far as they’re concerned it’s all done and dusted and you’re just grasping at straws. You can’t force someone to feel what they don’t feel. They don’t love you anymore, that’s fine. You’re backing off. There’s no pressure and you’re not gonna tell them you love them because although you’d like to have them you don’t need them.

 

Stop questioning them

Don’t ask them what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling, what they thinking about the break up, if they’ve noticed how much you’ve changed. This can be very intimidating to people and it puts them on the defensive. Also if you keep asking them and they keep having to explain what they feel they’ve already explained, they’re gonna start getting annoyed with you and want less and less to do with you. Take off the pressure and watch them feel more at ease.

 

Stop criticizing and complaining

Don’t blame them for the break up, don’t complain about what they did wrong in the relationship. It’s fine to talk to let off steam to others about this (just don’t do it too often otherwise your friends will dump you) but if you want to reconcile with your ex, don’t criticise. Judging them and chipping away at them is not gonna keep the lines of communication open. If you wanna discuss the ins and outs of what you both did wrong in the relationship, chances are you’ll have that talk if you get back together. Now is not the time.

 

Don't try to convince them to feel differently

People don’t like to be told what to think and feel. It’s a form of control and who likes to be controlled? Nobody. They already know how they feel, they’ve made their decision and the more you try to persuade them otherwise, the more they’ll dig in their heels.

 

Don’t give off the impression that you’re waiting around

If you keep letting them know that you’re there if they ever change their mind, you’re nothing but a pushover and a sap. Every time you give off that impression you’re saying I can’t get anyone else, I have low self esteem, I’ll be your plan B, I’m willing to accept whatever breadcrumb you throw in my direction. Not very attractive to a potential mate. This attitude doesn’t give of confidence or sex appeal. You’re absolutely no challenge to them anymore. They don’t even have to try. Boring!

 

Don’t bring up any relationship talk/break up talk

As above under ‘stop questioning them’. If they happen to bring up any relationship type talk, it’s ok to engage if you think you can both do it in a calm collected manner. If not or if it drags on without going anywhere, it’s best to just to divert and go back to normal, friendly chit chat or make your excuses and exit the conversation (in a polite way). If they’re constantly on the phone to you crying over what’s gone on but show no sign whatsoever in wanting to reconcile, they’re just stringing you along and you can’t let them.

 

Don’t argue

Arguing closes off lines of communication which is not what you want to do when you’re trying to open them up or keep them open. The more you fight, the more you criticise, the more they defend themselves, the more they back off the less they think of you and the more they think they’ve made the right decision to leave you. Stop attacking!

 

Try some new things

If you’ve been stuck in a bit of a rut in your life, now’s the time to get out of it. One of the reasons your ex may have left you is boredom. Everyone has things they’ve been putting off doing or have always wanted to do but have never had the time. Now’s the time to take action. Now your partner has gone you probably have that extra bit of spare time to try some new things and show your ex that you’re not as boring and predictable as they thought you were. It could be anything at all. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to drive, or learn a language or visit some far flung city or take cooking lessons. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s something you want to do. Your new found confidence that you’ve gained from your new skill/new experience will be alluring and you’ll find yourself having more to talk about which will make you more interesting too.

 

Tantalise, reassure, and worry

I got this tip from a really good break up book and I think it sums up everything I’ve just said perfectly. Tantalise them, reassure them and worry them. Tantalise means your new found confidence, your looks, your conversational skills or whatever it was that your ex was attracted to in the beginning. Tantalising them means alluring them back to you but in an indirect sort of way. You don’t want them to know that all this effort is for them! Reassuring means making sure they realise you’re not gonna be needy, you’re not gonna be possessive, you wont be jealous and you’re not desperate to win them back. Worry means worrying them that they might lose you. Don’t tell them they might lose you, just go out and date and don’t let them know that nobody else compares to them. If you do that they’ll know you’re effectively just waiting in the wings. Reverse the roles and hopefully when they know someone else is cosying up to you they’ll start to wonder what they’ve thrown away.

 

 

Well that’s the end of my advice. Might I remind you it’s just my personal opinion/the acvice of others and I’m not trying to tell people this is what they should do. I also make no claims to guarantee this will work. Your course of action is up to you but if you’ve read this you probably want to reconcile (or you think my advice is a lot of BS and want to tell me so) and I wish you luck in your pursuit.

 

After a period of reflection I'd like to ammend my own advice. I think a lot of these things are too difficult for a grieving individual to do. Perhaps these rules are can work but more than likely right after a breakup you're far too fragile to implement any 'strategies'. Having now cut contact with me ex for a month I can honestly say that I'm feeling so much better than I have in the 4 months I kept in contact with him. I now advise people to stay away from their ex's for a space of time till they find their feet again and even then, think carefully long and hard before you pick up that phone. Just wait until the world looks brighter.

[Quest]

Hope you don't mind me crashing in but thought a positive NC story might be useful for those of you who are wondering whether to contact an ex or not.

A close friend of mine broke up with her bf after six fantastic months. Main problem was he wouldn't really commit to the relationship and things were starting to go sour because of it. She broke it off. After about three months of absolutely NC at all she felt she was still missing him and so sent a card to tell him that but said not to get in touch if he didn't feel the same way. He came round the next day and now they are married with two kids!

The main things here are that my friend didn't do NC to get him back or anything, just because she couldn't see how else to get on with her life. Also, when she got in contact it was clear to her ex that he wasn't to respond unless it was with something better than he'd been offering before.

My friend says she was starting to feel a lot better by the time she sent that card so even if it hadn't got a positive response she'd probably have been okay, not totally devastated all over again.

For me, I've never found it easy to stay friendly with ex's - NC helps to get you moving on. Contact tends to make me hang on, hoping things will be resolved. It prevents me moving on but that's just for me.

[Yaussie]

Nuala83, thanks so much for posting your alternative. I already had it set in my mind to follow along the same guidelines, but its nice to have something available for me to refer to.

 

I've made the decision to have NC with my dumper for a couple of weeks. He lost his job, and I was supporting him until the stress and resentment came out of me, and he started getting depressed and there was no room for the relationship. I need to have NC for a short while, as I am an emotional person who needs to grieve a little and not react with the pain I'm having but rather approach things with a clear mind.

 

I do want to reconcile eventually, but feel it's important for this relationship to die, before we start a new one. I think he feels the same way.

 

Your alternative to NC is so helpful, but I suppose I need to know how to apply them to this situation....

 

My boyfriend is moving out, and collecting his things in a week or so.

 

I have packed all of his belongings, and they are ready to go.

 

How Do I behave when he comes to get his things?

It's going to be hard, and I need a positive approach. I don't want to cry until after he leaves and I have the key in my hand

 

Do I take down our photos and rearrange some things? I was going to do it anyway because it hurts with all of the reminders. Will he think I want him out for good by doing this?

 

 

Anyone have any tips for handling this? It's the last hurdle I have before I begin the No Contact, and start working on myself and how I handle things. I'm excited to take on the things I've never done.

 

Thank you all in advance

 

Yaussie.

[Son of Homer]

Lots of good advice consistent with my father's book "Stop Your Divorce"

[Son of Homer]

Sounds like you are the one who has made the decision for him to leave, am I wrong? If that is so, I'd be very clear with him of your intentions for a time of space and not a permanent breakup. If you send him a message of permant breakup, you increase the chance he will move on. He may anyway and you are already taking that risk.

 

What made you decide he needed to go? Is it just the job or is there more to it than that? The fact that you were going to take down his pictures tells me there is more to it.

 

The fact that you are going to have a big cry after he picks up his stuff tells me you may be very conflicted about this.

 

If he got a job would it change anything?

[JaneDoe35]

Son of Homer - I just purchased your father's book yesterday. I have read it about 3 times and have so far found it helpful.

 

If you get a chance can you take a look at my thread titled 'next' under Separation & Divorce. Maybe you can offer me some advice too.

 

If you are unable to do that I understand. How old is your father now?

 

Take care...

[Son of Homer]

86 but still strong as a wild horse mentally and full of piss and vinegar. Talking to him on the phone you'd never guess his age. I'll see if I can find your message. Forgive me if I don't answer right away but I will by the weekend for sure.

[selena_cat]

I know for one,have i started from NC in the beginning I couldve avoided all his BS and mistreatment,so now i'm back on NC,and I am beyond relieved I decided not to give this jerk any more of my time and energy,which in fact was all wasted so that i had to go back on NC anyway.

One thing, hows Bear power doing? i was reading his replies and hope he's doing okay,wherever he may be.

[paperchase]

I've been away for a few months basking in reconciliation achieved in part due to NC. It's funny that upon my return the longest thread I can find is one providing alternatives to NC. It's like I never left. Everyone wants alternatives to NC because it's a tough road to hoe and while going NC everyone wants a reason to break the silence. A sign, any sign, however small, is something to keep hope alive.

 

I remember creating a thread several hundred pages long (I believe 390-something) posting verbatim the voice mail, text or email each time my ex reached out and asking what it meant. That thread got deleted for some reason, but I clearly remember the sage advice of others about not going for bread crumbs and how if an ex wants you back nothing will stop them from actively seeking you out. Actively was tantamount to banging on your door or becoming as desperate to win you back as you were to prevent them from leaving.

 

I also remember ignoring this advice and all the pain and setbacks it caused before I dug in and truly committed to NC. I remember during NC how she would call me at 3am and send me pictures, even naked ones, to manipulate me. I remember the messages offering sex and saying how she just wanted me insider her one last time. Then I remember how when she'd stop for a bit, I longed to hear from her again. Then we finally did reconcile, but only once I was truly capable of moving on and then we did it on my terms. Neither the reconciliation nor the ability to move on would have happened without NC.

 

Now my relationship is not perfect and I can't say how long it will last. What I can say is that with every woman I've dated since we first broke up and ever woman I date going forward, once they say with sincerity that it's over I'm gone like the wind. No contact offers the best odds of success no matter what result you're after. Most things that are good for you are pretty hard to stomach.

[mmk1]

Even though this is an older thread, I just read LisaLisa's post and I've never agreed with anything more. From someone in the same boat, well said.

[Nuala83]

I've been away for a few months basking in reconciliation achieved in part due to NC. It's funny that upon my return the longest thread I can find is one providing alternatives to NC. It's like I never left. Everyone wants alternatives to NC because it's a tough road to hoe and while going NC everyone wants a reason to break the silence. A sign, any sign, however small, is something to keep hope alive.

 

I remember creating a thread several hundred pages long (I believe 390-something) posting verbatim the voice mail, text or email each time my ex reached out and asking what it meant. That thread got deleted for some reason, but I clearly remember the sage advice of others about not going for bread crumbs and how if an ex wants you back nothing will stop them from actively seeking you out. Actively was tantamount to banging on your door or becoming as desperate to win you back as you were to prevent them from leaving.

 

I also remember ignoring this advice and all the pain and setbacks it caused before I dug in and truly committed to NC. I remember during NC how she would call me at 3am and send me pictures, even naked ones, to manipulate me. I remember the messages offering sex and saying how she just wanted me insider her one last time. Then I remember how when she'd stop for a bit, I longed to hear from her again. Then we finally did reconcile, but only once I was truly capable of moving on and then we did it on my terms. Neither the reconciliation nor the ability to move on would have happened without NC.

 

Now my relationship is not perfect and I can't say how long it will last. What I can say is that with every woman I've dated since we first broke up and ever woman I date going forward, once they say with sincerity that it's over I'm gone like the wind. No contact offers the best odds of success no matter what result you're after. Most things that are good for you are pretty hard to stomach.

 

Very very true paperchase. It's funny looking back on this thread now that I am back with my ex. I honestly thought keeping in touch was the best thing but it was only when I took some time out to cool off that I started to think more clearly. I used that time to consider what I wanted for myself. Apparently so did he because a few weeks later he wanted me back. I've agreed to 'see how things go' but whatever happens I won't be afraid to walk away if I'm ever in that situation again. Hmmm I guess hanging around after a breakup is kinda unattractive, even if the dumpers say that's what they want.

[parmaker14]

I love this advice. For me, NC with my Ex is impossible because we have a child together. But, as long as I keep the contact in line with the advice Nuala83 gives, I'll be much better off in the long run. Thanks for the advice.

[HeavenOrHell]

Great advice

 

So you did have some NC? How long for?

 

 

Very very true paperchase. It's funny looking back on this thread now that I am back with my ex. I honestly thought keeping in touch was the best thing but it was only when I took some time out to cool off that I started to think more clearly. I used that time to consider what I wanted for myself. Apparently so did he because a few weeks later he wanted me back. I've agreed to 'see how things go' but whatever happens I won't be afraid to walk away if I'm ever in that situation again. Hmmm I guess hanging around after a breakup is kinda unattractive, even if the dumpers say that's what they want.

[Nuala83]

Great advice

 

So you did have some NC? How long for?

 

Well I stayed in contact with him for around 5 and a half months. During that time my head was all over the place and every time I tried NC I ended up breaking it. Then after realising that the situation was hurting me too much, I stopped calling, deleted all my networking sites and dissapeared off the face of the earth....then he started calling. NC only lasted about 3 weeks. However, even when he said he wanted me back, his actions didn't match his words so at that point I kept in contact with him but took it very very slowly and when he backed off, I backed off. Then when he showed an interest, I mirrored him (you get the picture). People should know though that there's NO QUICK FIX. Even when you "get back together" there's a lot of work to do. It's now 9 months since my break-up but he's only just started telling me he loves me again. He does do it a lot though

[HeavenOrHell]

Most people on LS say NC is the way I need to go and I know why they are saying it, they don't want to see me hurt.

But how doesn't anyone know for sure my ex won't want to try again.

I fear NC would push us further apart as he left as I neglected him the last 2 years.

I've gone LC for now at least.

So glad things are working out for you

 

 

Well I stayed in contact with him for around 5 and a half months. During that time my head was all over the place and every time I tried NC I ended up breaking it. Then after realising that the situation was hurting me too much, I stopped calling, deleted all my networking sites and dissapeared off the face of the earth....then he started calling. NC only lasted about 3 weeks. However, even when he said he wanted me back, his actions didn't match his words so at that point I kept in contact with him but took it very very slowly and when he backed off, I backed off. Then when he showed an interest, I mirrored him (you get the picture). People should know though that there's NO QUICK FIX. Even when you "get back together" there's a lot of work to do. It's now 9 months since my break-up but he's only just started telling me he loves me again. He does do it a lot though

[Nuala83]

Most people on LS say NC is the way I need to go and I know why they are saying it, they don't want to see me hurt.

But how doesn't anyone know for sure my ex won't want to try again.

I fear NC would push us further apart as he left as I neglected him the last 2 years.

I've gone LC for now at least.

So glad things are working out for you

 

That's a good point. I think in a lot of cases a period of not talking and taking a step back to reflect works wonders for both parties but there are exceptions. It all depends why you broke up, if there was anyone else involved, how serious the relationship was, if there are kids involved etc etc. Nobody knows for sure that your ex won't want to try again. I'll bet he doesn't even know. Things will work out for you though, one way or another

[HeavenOrHell]

Thanks

I went a month not seeing him but still texting and e-mails, I want some space but NC at the moment. Unless I go total NC now for a month and see how things feel.

We had a lovely evening last night:rolleyes:

We broke up as he felt neglected the last couple of years, the relationship was serious for 18 years, no-one else involved, no kids involved.

He left twice 9 years ago as we were in a rut, and halfway through one of those splits he rang and said he definitely wasn't coming back, he came back after about 4 months and the other time after about 6 weeks.

We had 10 more (mostly) good years after that and our relationship felt much stronger for many years.

 

 

 

That's a good point. I think in a lot of cases a period of not talking and taking a step back to reflect works wonders for both parties but there are exceptions. It all depends why you broke up, if there was anyone else involved, how serious the relationship was, if there are kids involved etc etc. Nobody knows for sure that your ex won't want to try again. I'll bet he doesn't even know. Things will work out for you though, one way or another

[mmk1]

Here is my final take on NC after alot of personal experience and alot of time spent reading some really excellant advice on LS from Caliguy, Tara Maiden and others.

 

I think that following a break, you should take a few days, maybe a week, digest everything that has happened and think about one final conversation with the dumper.

 

In that conversation, even by email if easier or to make sure you say everything you want to say, you let them know how you feel, what you want and be as honest and caring as possible. After that, there is nothing left for you to say and they know where you stand. Do not agree to be friends.

 

Then, it is up to them and NC is the only way to go. The ball is then in their court and you must go on from there like they are never coming back, because there is no guarantee they will. Likely, it will not work out but at least you know you did everything you could.

 

Just my two cents.

[HeavenOrHell]

My post should have read>I want some space but NOT NC at the moment. Unless I go total NC now for a month and see how things feel.<

[HeavenOrHell]

That's it exactly, this is how I feel about it.

 

Well if your ex broke up with you because you were neglecting him then you will need to stay in some form of LC. That's a tricky situation. NC would definitely be the way to go if you smothered him but you didn't. You just weren't making him a priority.

 

I could see how NC would push him further away as he probably broke up with you to give you a wakeup call & since that didn't work if you went NC he'll just move on.

[name witheld]

yes i agree.

 

But, I tried LC at first and it did not work!

Then i went NC and she contacted me, now it looks like back to LC so just gonna take it very slowly and make sure she is progressing towards me.

 

(ie being very selective on communication, making sure she initiates all if not most communication and no physical stuff)

If i do that then LC might work this time, we shall see.

Key thing is giving them what they want.

 

And for everybody else where neglect/lack of attention wasn't the issue - NC.

[name witheld]

Well if your ex broke up with you because you were neglecting him then you will need to stay in some form of LC. That's a tricky situation. NC would definitely be the way to go if you smothered him but you didn't. You just weren't making him a priority.

 

I could see how NC would push him further away as he probably broke up with you to give you a wakeup call & since that didn't work if you went NC he'll just move on.

 

Even in this situation NC might not be initial approach, but it you may have to employ it if there is no progress or if they start seeing someone else.

 

But I agree with what you say.

[Beeotch]

Here is my final take on NC after alot of personal experience and alot of time spent reading some really excellant advice on LS from Caliguy, Tara Maiden and others.

 

I think that following a break, you should take a few days, maybe a week, digest everything that has happened and think about one final conversation with the dumper.

 

In that conversation, even by email if easier or to make sure you say everything you want to say, you let them know how you feel, what you want and be as honest and caring as possible. After that, there is nothing left for you to say and they know where you stand. Do not agree to be friends.

 

Then, it is up to them and NC is the only way to go. The ball is then in their court and you must go on from there like they are never coming back, because there is no guarantee they will. Likely, it will not work out but at least you know you did everything you could.

 

Just my two cents.

 

Could not have said it better. Esp the bolded.

 

NC prevents you from daily/weekly calling, texting, arguing, rehashing, annoying, stalking your ex and hurting yourself.

[Beeotch]

Well I stayed in contact with him for around 5 and a half months. During that time my head was all over the place and every time I tried NC I ended up breaking it. Then after realising that the situation was hurting me too much, I stopped calling, deleted all my networking sites and dissapeared off the face of the earth....then he started calling. NC only lasted about 3 weeks. However, even when he said he wanted me back, his actions didn't match his words so at that point I kept in contact with him but took it very very slowly and when he backed off, I backed off. Then when he showed an interest, I mirrored him (you get the picture). People should know though that there's NO QUICK FIX. Even when you "get back together" there's a lot of work to do. It's now 9 months since my break-up but he's only just started telling me he loves me again. He does do it a lot though

 

Very true!

[leap83]

I believe everyone is different. We go through different experiences. For some people, NC would be the way to go; for others, it wouldn't. If you're planning to get your ex back, you definitively do not want to fall into the friend zone. However, if you really think about it, being friends could be a good idea, because it could grow into something more eventually (if the relationship before you broke up was a couple of months and you barely knew each other).

 

Some believe that being a friend with the ex is going to ruin their potential. Not necessarily. It again depends on the situation. You don't want to be buddies with them where they tell you about their new relationship or w.e. but you want to be friendly with them.

 

I don't know. LC is working its magic right now with my ex. It is literally magic. I have hope for the future. However, my focus right now is on building a friendship, trust, partnership and nurturing relationship. If everything works out and we were meant to be together, we'll end up together. If not, hey at least I made a very good friend.