mmk1 Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 (edited) HOH, I and others have tried the "fighting for the relationship" and with my most recent ex, we did get back together 1-2x, but not for good. Our advice is that, generally speaking, if you try to hold on to this relationship, you will find yourself the only one holding on and in constant pain, not being able to move on. So, the best thing is that if you have already said all you need to say and she knows where you stand, let go and move on. You must treat this like she is never coming back because that will be the only point where you can start moving on yourself. There is no point in calling again to tell her something you already said or she already knows. If she knows where you stand and is not asking to reconcile, consider that your answer, end this one-sided relationship and find someone who will value you! Edited November 25, 2009 by mmk1 Typos! Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Here is my alternative advice to the no contact Let’s begin: Basically your saying play some games and see if that gets them back...but what you don't say is after you stop playing games they will likely leave again. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 "fighting for the relationship" Needs to be a two person,face to face, full contact, 13 round event. any else is just wishful thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
leap83 Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Needs to be a two person,face to face, full contact, 13 round event. any else is just wishful thinking. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Share Posted November 26, 2009 Basically your saying play some games and see if that gets them back...but what you don't say is after you stop playing games they will likely leave again. Let's not be bitter now GrayClouds. This is the second chances forum after all. I'm assuming you've only read parts of this thread. Having tried almost every piece of advice everyone gave me during my breakup, I found the best thing to do was: Keep my distance Stop calling Get on with my own life Stop getting drawn into arguments Stop questioning him Stop showing him how unhappy he made me... ...bad advice or common sense??? Yeah some of the things I wrote are bs (as I've stated) now I look back on them but a lot of it is common sense. The point of this thread was that NC isn't possible in every case. It simply isn't so if you have to have some contact with your ex or you insist on doing it against all other advice, the least you can do is not make things worse. Get out there and enjoy yourself Stop needing them Don’t call them Stop telling them you love them Don't try to convince them to feel differently Don’t give off the impression that you’re waiting around Try some new things Stop reacting to their hostility Personally I think the advice above is good. I also feel that taking time out to clear your head works fabulously too (NC). Even if I didn't want to admit it at the time! As for game playing, of course it doesn't work. Getting out of angry hurt victim mode can make one helluva difference though. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts