Guy situation

[Sandy]

I fool around with guys I don't always know very

 

well. A couple weeks ago I gave a guy head while

 

I was drunk. I had just met him that day. I've

 

known his friend, Bryan for about a month now and

 

I've had a really big crush on him. I ended up hooking up with him last night while I was drunk. We're not going out or anything. We just did pretty much the same thing

 

as I did with his friend. He probably thinks I'm

 

a slut now since I fooled around with him and his

 

friend. I really want a relationship with him

 

though, not just like a one night stand. It

 

always ends up that I'll have these little 1 or 2

 

time flings with a guy and then never talk to

 

them again. I really don't want this to happen

 

with Bryan. Any suggestions on where I should go

 

from here?

 

-Sandy

[Tony T]

First, learn how to handle your alcohol. Stop drinking to the point of either not knowing or not caring what you do.

 

Second, you will need to change your image and stay away from the clubs where you have the reputation for giving guys head after you meet them. I'm a guy and my guess is that they all flip coins when they see you walk in the door. If you're wanting a really decent guy, he will not go for you with that kind of reputation.

 

I'm sure Bryan has heard about your experiences with the guys, and particularly his friend, and he probably isn't amused. With what he knows and being a guy myself, it will be hard to take you very seriously at this point.

 

So work to stay sober, stay away from this environment, and ask him out to a concert, dinner function, or some classy event. And, for God's sake, if you REALLY want a relationship with him as you say, don't pull his pants off until you have dated him for a while. If you do, all he will think to himself is "there she goes again."

 

You have to learn that actions have consequences and you are going to have to pay for them here. I think you can save this but you have to behave so damned good now that he will start doubting whether all the gossip about you is really correct. That's your only hope.

[Miranda]

Sandy,

 

You need to love YOURSELF. Respect yourself. You are on a path of emotional self-destruction.

 

Sex does not equal intimacy. You may be experimenting with your sexuality, your allure, or whatever, but your self esteem is low. And it won't get any better if your peers think you are 'easy'.

 

Considering your actions with Bryan, you need to back off. You do not know whether he was hanging out with you because he knew you would 'put out'. Either way, getting drunk and getting together is not going to make a relationship.

 

Think about why you are doing the things you are doing...REALLY think about it. Why are you doing this?

 

Looking for love? Relationship? It will not happen if you keep this up.