Dru921 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Our history is quite simple, I met him (we'll call him G) through my ex. He was a manager at a company and got me a job only because he had a friendship with my ex. So, G and I became friends, really close friends..we talked about everything and within a short time we knew almost everything about eachother, but never anything more than a friendship..never any wants on my end then anything more. During my time working with him, I sensed a lot of flirtatious activity that I ended up blowing off due to people who convinced me that is just how he is. I wasn't interested in him, and due to the fact that I was in a relationship, sometimes his flirtatious ways made me uncomfortable. I ended up leaving the job (not because of G) but stopped in everynow and then to say hi and see how everyone was doing. My ex and I broke up and when I went to visit again, G offered me his number so we could get together for lunch or something. Since then, we have chatted on the phone, and went out to dinner a few times. He still is the same flirtatious guy I always knew but it doesn't bother me now because I got used to it. I really enjoy getting together with him because it is so relaxing and feels so wonderful to have such a close guy friend that I can be myself with and talk to about anything. Today, he emailed me about all his feelings about me, how special I am and how he was hoping to take it a step forward from friendship. I have yet to respond. My mind is running in so many directions. Part of me says no, I am not interested in anything more..I enjoy his friendship and I want to keep it as that. But the other part of me says I'm crazy to say no because when I really think about it, he is everything I want in a man that I want a relationship with....everything. If I do decide that I do not want to take it a step forward, I really have no idea how to break it down to him. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Dating doesn't mean promising yourself to him forever, nor does it mean that your feelings must match his. It sounds as though you really like him, enjoy the flirtation, and feel really good around him. I'm not sure why you are hesitating? What aren't you saying? Why wouldn't you want to go out with him and see how you feel? You said he's everything you want in a man for a relationship, everything. Are you afraid to enter into a relationship like that? Would you feel more comfortable being in a relationship with someone who keeps you on edge and wondering where you stand and how he feels and if you're really compatible? How would you feel if he were to date and fall in love with someone else, and the two of you didn't go out anymore and he didn't flirt with you anymore? Personally, I'd tell him that you dont' feel the way he feels already, but you always have a great time with him and you're open to dating him and see what happens. That way, he doesn't get his hopes up and you set expectations in the right place. Good guys are hard to find. Don't take this guy for granted. And don't mistake anxiety for chemistry - maybe you think you don't feel enough butterflies with this guy, but a lot of times, those butterflies come from not knowing whether a guy is into you as much as you're into him...it's anxiety. At least give dating a try. Let him show you how he treats a woman he's dating. Let him make you feel sexy and beautiful and treasured...I'll bet he does already to some degree. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 If he's everything you are looking for, then why not take a shot at dating him? You can date and do not have to be 100% exclusive just yet. Just take things one date at a time and see where he really fits in your heart. I'd say go for this one, you've got nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
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