LDR Brewing

[bdc_1984]

Hi all,

 

Let me get right to it:

 

Me--recent grad school graduate, starting career soon.

 

Her--recent COLLEGE graduate

 

We met while she in college and I at a nearby graduate school. When not in school, she lives 3.5 hours away from me.

 

We've been together nearly 2 years now, and things are very good. However, she got accepted into a graduate program that will mean that she won't be able to be close to me (at least 3.5 hours away) and I'm very scared of what may happen. LDR usually don't work for a reason, and that reason is because of the lack of face time/inability to spend time together. I'm obviously very happy for her but at the same time worried that what I thought was "meant to be" may end up turning out to be just a huge "head fake."

 

Without getting too specific, Her program will last 3 years although there is a chance she'll be able to spend some of that time with me.

 

Two other important things: age-wise, we are both in our mid-twenties. And yes, we've talked (at least playfully) about the "big" picture/future.

 

Need some sort of advice to try to figure this all out. Please and thank you in advance.

[bean1]

Well, you have 3 options.

 

1. Break up with her

2. Move to the same city with her

3. Attempt the LDR

 

3 years long distance is difficult. Is she "the one"? If not, then evaluate. If she may be, then you need to seriously consider #2 & #3. Is there a reason that you are not willing to move to be with her? I assume it is because you want to establish your career, but you didn't indicate your field, is there a possibility of living in her town and transfering later?

 

I think you should at least attempt it. If it turns out to a "head fake" as you say, I doubt it would last 3 years. LDR's are difficult and if it isn't going to work, you'll find out quite quickly (hopefully).

 

Good luck!

[bdc_1984]

I'm not willing to move for a variety of reasons, mainly because of my field and opportunities where I am. I am being discrete about that, I know, but just take my word for it that moving to where she will be is not an option. That isn't due to my unwillingness per se, but it is due to my own situation and what I need to do.