hisprincess4eva Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica][sIZE=2]Hi everyone.. My bf and i are having a rough patch rt now in our relationship and i kinda needed your opinions, input and advices in it so i can see it from the 3rd person's point of view. My bf and i have been together for more than a year, we have been in a LDR for one year. Currently he is in med school finishing off his last semester. Two days ago, i saw him flirting with a girl on myspace like commenting. I was okay with it when i first saw it. But my best friend kept stuffing my hear and kept over flooding my head. I know i shud never listen to someone who does not know anything about my relationship. But i fell for it and i asked my bf about it, it was clear that it was nothing but a joke. He said that is how he jokes around with his friends that are girls. everything was clear then. Afterwards my best friends goes to create a fake account and makes up shiet and askes him who his gf is and stuff. He replied back saying either you are my gf or one of her friends who is trying to see if i am truly committed. I did not even know about. My best friend was crying and kept saying sorry. she wouldn't tell me the truth. So i emailed my bf and asked what happened. if she did anything wrong with him. after begging my best friend to tell me..she finally did an hr after i emailed my bf. I got so mad at her i punched her in the face. For doing something so stupid. I then emailed my boyfriend and told me the truth to clear things up. My best friend even msged him and told him that it was her who was doing that because she felt like he was playing around with me. I know that if that was me i would of been hurt and i know my babyy must of got hurt. After sending him the last email at 11:37am telling him how some 3rd person should not come and ruin what we have. We both love each other and we are still strong. I got a reply at 12:03pm saying "babyy nothing happened. all i have to say is that you should trust me and have faith in me. Do not jump into illusions. because a relationship is sensitive. it takes years building it but a second to end it. Thats all babyy. I love you alot babyy =)" this was his response. I even called him last night and left a voicemail cuz i was so hurt the fact my best friend did this. He was busy with school so he couldn't answer. BUt i jus want to know from your point of view. Was everything cleared out when he emailed me??? I am overreacting here thinking he is still mad or sad because he hasn't been online and has been super busy with med school. but was the email a msg to point out to me that yes babyy everything is okay. i jus want u to trust me and believe in me and not people around you. I jus need to clear this feeling out within myself. and make myself understand that he read msg and now all he wants from you is this.[/sIZE][/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Spirit of the Ocean Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Hi Princess, From what I gathered from your boyfriend's msg, he didn't seem like he was too upset about what happened. But if it's still bothering you the only person who can assuage your fears is your boyfriend. Talk to him one on one about it, instead of emailing. I'm sure it'll make you feel much better! Besides that, if things are okay with your boyfriend with regards to the 'online flirting' that's really great! I'm not sure why your friend took matters into her own hand though :s I'm sure she had your best interests at heart but it still seems like a strange thing to do. Maybe you should have a chat with your friend too, especially considering that she is your best friend! Hope everything gets sorted out for you! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 hate to be the harbinger of doom, but you really need to reassess the situation. 1. your best friend, who did something stupid, has been your friend long enough to want to look out for/protect you. 2. your boyfriend should know better than to write those kinds of messages to other women when he's in a relationship. That's plain disrespectful, not to mention stupid. It doesn't matter if he's the flirty kind, that is not right, and I imagine this is what your friend was trying to get him to see. 3. am ambivalent on his response to her messages on his myspace account: On the one hand, good for him for discerning that she was testing him, but on the other hand, why was he calling her out when his usual MO is to flirt? Strange, IMO ... 4. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. At some point, this girl is going to be helping you pick up the pieces when this relationship hits problems, and just gave her cause to turn her back on you for being violent. Never, ever choose a lover over a friendship, because lovers will come and go – if anything, you should have had a heart to heart with her explaining that you didn't appreciate her going overboard on the issue, and that whatever happens between you and him, you're going in it with your eyes open. Again, this gal is the one who is going to be there for you whenever you've got issues, and you pretty much showed her that she is worthless to you. 5. Your "baby" is a grown man and fully capable of dealing with the matter himself. You shouldn't be protecting him from someone who cares enough about you to find out whether he's being a jerk because of questionable behavior ... let him deal with it on his end, while you talk with her about what she's doing. frankly, I think you've over-reacted when with a bit of patience and maturity, you could have found a better solution. But that's my 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
Katherineos123 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 I agree with Quankanne in that you should have never hit your friend. BUT, I can also sympathize with you in that your friend should have never done message your boyfriend. That is a huge invasion of privacy as well as an infringement of your trust as girlfriends! It almost seems as if she was trying to entrap your man into saying/doing something he would regret... which from your post it seems as if he didnt... In the end, you have to trust your boyfriend... because you love him and you should always have their back. If I were you, my beef would be with my girlfriend... who should have never done something so deceiving... deceiving to you AND him! Especially since the two of you are in a long distance relationship, which is already hard enough, never mind having unnecessary insecurities thrown into the mix! YEESH! You two need to talk and sort this out. Im sure she feels remorseful after all the heartache this has caused the three of you, but you need to tell her that something like this can NEVER happen again. I hope everything works out for all three of you! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Yup, smacking her was the wrong way of handling it..But, with that being said, your bestfriend made things worse long before she decided to set up a fake account.. She got you going, made you mistrust your own boyfriend. Sounds like your bestfriend is/was jealous and./or never liked your boyfriend. She is supposed to be the one person you can trust - Instead, she made you doubt, she controlled you and manipulated you. Let HER now make it up to you. She has to prove that SHE is trustworthy.. As for your boyfriend, give him the chance. It seems like all was OK until you let other people get in the way. Link to post Share on other sites
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