Savanna78 Posted October 28, 2003 Share Posted October 28, 2003 Question for anyone that has any thoughts on the issue: I went out on a date with this "great guy", and we hit it off completely, laughed the entire night...in fact we hit it off too well. What ended up happening is him waking up at my house the next morning making an extremely awkward situation. I am not the type of girl that has one-night stands, EVER, and I am extremely disappointed that this happened. Both he and I are professionals & have great careers, and although we were completely safe, I still feel that I let myself down in terms of my moral aspirations. As he was leaving, he said I could call him if I wanted & that if he didn't respond right away or if I didn't hear from him soon it was because he was really swamped at work. I said, understandable, and we kind of left it at that. Anyways, this happened a little over a week ago & I haven't heard from him. He sent me a brief email two days after the date, explaining that he was really busy & that he would call me to set up another time to go out as he didn't have time this next coming week (we had no definite plans set for going out again). Im not interested in making him my boyfriend, I would much rather forget about the situation and chalk it up to an experience I will never repeat. However, it has been bothering me recently that he may have a different impression of me than what I really am. I know that this probably sounds really stupid, but I have the desire to email him and simply say "Hey J - Im not looking for a response or another date but I just would like to clear my conscience. What happened last weekend is not something I do & while I had a great time, I would just like to let you know that I am not that type of girl." (Or something to that effect). So...thoughts...is it bad to send this email? I dont think that I will hear from him and I honestly do not even want a response to the email, it is more or less to make myself feel better about what happened. I would rather email than call...as it seems more casual. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 28, 2003 Share Posted October 28, 2003 mm, interesting dilemma. it seems to me that what you seek here is closure - you understand what happened, you sense that he is not interested, but you need to officially acknowledge it somehow. here is what i think: give yourself closure. you did what you did, accept it, forgive yourself, and move on. there is nothing more he can offer you. if he calls, he calls, if not, who cares? no on can satisfy your conscience but you. what possible moral authority could he have? if, worst case scenario, he does think you are 'one sort of girl,' that's his problem and an email will exacerbate it. you will look needy instead. i know it sounds hokey, but why not write one to yourself instead, explaining to you what happened and why? anyway, just a thought, j Link to post Share on other sites
ASDFJKL Posted October 28, 2003 Share Posted October 28, 2003 It doesn't sound like you're super interested in him, and it doesn't sound like he's interested in you either. All of us are humans and we make stupid mistakes. You regret what you did, and that's good. Now learn from it, and move on. You don't need to email him. You shouldn't care what he thinks of you (He'll probably just forget it anyway); all that matters is that YOU know who you really are. Link to post Share on other sites
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