happy girl Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 We met 9 months ago and have become really good friends! We talk or see each other usually twice a week. After my mom had surgery, he held me and was there to listen, we spent a lot of time gazing into each others eyes that night more than normal. He has been there anytime I need to talk and has started sharing very personal things with me. Someone we both know has been following me around like a lost puppy and my friend jokingly asked if this guy and I were joined at the hip. Once he mentioned trying to figure out if I am the ideal woman. He also said I was falling for him, I tried to play it off like I wasn't, but the truth is that I am. He is also quick to call me if I don't give him a hug goodbye or we don't see each other on days we normally do. Does it sound like he wants us to be more than friends? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Well, are both of you single? If yes, he needs to ask you out on a real date. Given what you've shared, my instinct is he's playing and won't get serious about asking you out. Perhaps some others can prove me wrong Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Smith Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Men do not have female friends were are not interested in romantically/physically. That much is obvious, or should be. You sound like a decent lady. Call him out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted June 15, 2009 Author Share Posted June 15, 2009 Last time my friend and I saw each other, things seemed to have stepped up to another level. I am just going to enjoy whatever we are to each other, knowing that whatever happens it is in God's hands! Thank you for your thoughts, they are appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Oxydizer Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Men do not have female friends were are not interested in romantically/physically. That much is obvious, or should be. You sound like a decent lady. Call him out. Do women actually see it this way. I ask because I am kinda in the Friends to lovers thing right now and am not sure what is going on. If my lady friend already knows this am I hiding something from her. I am unconditionally honest with her and want her to know how I feel, but don't want to kill a great friendship if it's not mutual. My friend and I spend a great deal of time together and extremely comfortable with each other, we have known each other for almost 5 years. Typically. If I am not at her apartment, she is at mine. We have had many "sleepovers" Anyhow, I just wanted to know if women think that when a Man spends more then average time with them, do they think that the man is interested ? In my case I am. I meen, is it pretty obvious that I have a thing for her in her eyes ? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Well, sleepovers presume you both to be single, so ask her out on a date and sex her up (meaning take romantic initiative). That is, unless you enjoy a platonic friendship and see her like a sister. Doesn't sound like you do. The only reason I would not do the same with any woman would be relationship status, in that either or both of us were in relationships with others. Absent that, life is short Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 Oxidizer, until Mr Smith made that comment, it was not something I considered to be obvious. I have always had guys around that I just considered friends and not really given thought to them thinking of us as more than friends. The things I do to show interest in my friend are that I touch him a lot and smile at him all the time. I have also grabbed his hand when the opportunity presented itself. Having the willingness to be completely open, honest, and comfortable with each other is a good thing. We also give each other a hard time frequently. What clear cut signs could your friend give to let you know beyond a doubt that she is interested in you? Is there a good way of telling a man you are interested in him, without scaring him off? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 He sounds interested to me and maybe just doesn't know how to be more forward about it, given a fear of rejection factor. But by saying to you that you are falling for him, sounds to me like that's what he wants to be true, otherwise wouldn't be saying it. Men do not have female friends were are not interested in romantically/physically. That much is obvious, or should be. I don't know about that. I have that male friend that takes me out and calls me constantly, makes time to squeeze me into his busy schedule on a regular basis, and the opinons of others is always divided between he's interested and no he's not interested. So apparently the fact that just because a man has a female friend, it doesn't mean he's truly interested romantically. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Is there a good way of telling a man you are interested in him, without scaring him off? Beyond obvious flirting (if you can't do that, I can't help you) 1. Remember things about him and be interested in him proactively. 2. Do not talk about real or imaginary boyfriends/ex-husbands/infatuations etc. with him like he is a girlfriend. Focus on him. I've found that there's a reason married women are married. They're experts at getting the attention of and keeping a man. Watch them in action, even with men who are not their spouse. It's really instructional Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 We have really been flirting a lot lately and my roommate has even commented on the chemistry between us. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 We have really been flirting a lot lately and my roommate has even commented on the chemistry between us. Yea well, hate to tell ya this, but my friends comment on the chemistry between me and a guy friend all the time, but apparently, it only goes so far for him. So don't rely on what they say. Link to post Share on other sites
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Allow my good buddy Palpatine to answer that question: http://digitalpimponline.com/strips.php?title=movie&id=24 Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 My friend is amazing! I have a lot going on in my life right now and my friend was there to listen and hold me again. He touched me quite a bit more than normal and we really talked in depth about all sorts of things. He had to make it a point to come up and get another hug from me and then within 5 minutes of us leaving each other, he called me. I can't stop smiling! Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Jesus, just move in for a kiss already, what are you waiting for? All the signs are there, how bout taking a risk???????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 Boogieboy thank you for your words of encouragement. If it was you and you liked a lady, wouldn't you make the first move? I just wanted to share my excitement with everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Next time you are together, turn your head towards him and lean in a little bit. If he doesn't get the clue, then just grab his ears and plant one on him. You could be sending just enough mixed signals to him through your body language or verbal queues that you may not be wanting the kiss. This could all be done without you knowing it and this guy being weary of the "What the hell are you doing that for?" moment is playing it safe. Trust me, you get enough of those moments and you'll be less inclined to go for it unless you are 200% sure. Sometimes, the woman has to be the man. Just for a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 Thursday it felt like we want the same thing. Our knees were touching the whole time we were sitting there talking. He invited me to go swimming at his house. He also told me about someone we both know that likes him and he told her he doesn't have time to spend with her, yet he tells me that I should be spending more time with him. He also said I can call him anytime day or night. I'm enjoying whatever we are to each other. The chemistry between us is incredible. I can't wait to see him tomorrow and hopefully I will have more to say about us. Link to post Share on other sites
ON MY OWN Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Thursday it felt like we want the same thing. Our knees were touching the whole time we were sitting there talking. He invited me to go swimming at his house. He also told me about someone we both know that likes him and he told her he doesn't have time to spend with her, yet he tells me that I should be spending more time with him. He also said I can call him anytime day or night. I'm enjoying whatever we are to each other. The chemistry between us is incredible. I can't wait to see him tomorrow and hopefully I will have more to say about us. I have a roommate in a similar situation and it seems to be going pretty well for her. Is there anything new to report? Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Is there anything new to report? When I saw him on Thursday, he hugged me every chance he got. We talked Saturday evening and I asked him why he doesn't have a girlfriend and he told me that no woman in her right mind would want to be with someone that spends as much time taking care of people as much as he does. He is involved in various ministries at our church and other churches in the area, plus he often ministers to the people in his neighborhood. I texted him on Sunday to let him know that his devotion to God is one reason I have become so fond of him. He called me after that. He has invited me over to his house to go swimming and let me know I should bring my son too. Plus, I'm sure his kids would be there swimming as well. I need to let him know that the amount of time we spend together is not as important as the quality of our time together, whether it is as friends or a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 I just wanted to update everybody that I am happy to report that me and my friend have become a couple and are starting a happy future together. Thanks to everone for your thoughts along the way. Link to post Share on other sites
gregp Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 super awesome, best of luck with that Link to post Share on other sites
Author happy girl Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Things have been incredible between us! The feelings between us are mutual and we are dating exclusively. We have been spending time together pretty much everyday now. Yesterday, he gave me flowers. He is such a gentleman and we really enjoy each others company. It is wonderful having such a kind and loving man as my boyfriend. We have been telling everyone we know that we are a couple and they are all happy for us. Link to post Share on other sites
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