Getting Belongings Back From Ex

[shopgrl]

This may be a pretty dumb question but I need some outside advise. I'm sure that most of you have read my long posts so I won't get into my story again.

 

I am moving out of my house and my ex has my only front door key (I've been using the side door). In order to get my security deposit back, I need to return all the keys.

 

I have not spoken with my ex since shortly after the break up which was a few weeks ago although we said we'd still be friends. So I know it would be ok to call him but I just don't want him to think that the key is an excuse to speak with him.

 

And frankly, I'm so confused right now that part of me wants to call him or stop over to pick up the key so that I can see him to see if there's anything still there (we haven't seen each other since the break up) yet the other part of me wants nothing to do with him and would rather send him a text message saying to drop the key off at my work. I guess it boils down to-- I love him yet I dislike him.

 

My question is How do I get the key back? Call him? Text message him? Stop at his house? Because I surely do not want to give up hundreds of dollars because he has the key. I just can't beleive that he didn't give it back to me when we broke up!

[Layla]

Me again :-)

 

Oh god, this sounds just like my break up. Try to get your things and your money back and don't consider pride.

 

You don't know what stages of feeling your boyfriend will go through in the next few days. He may start feeling negative about you and punish you by making life hard for you by not giving you that money etc.

 

He may come up with reasons and situations why it's his money "you remember when I paid for this and that?"....

 

Just an assumption, but you are not his girlfriend anymore (forget the friend business). Do not underestimate the feelings your boyfriend has about the breaking up.

 

Do what your right is and get whatever you need to get. Worry about pride again when you are "safe" and know that he has no control over you by keeping your things.

 

Maybe I'm overreacting but this was a BIG ISSUE at my break up. I tried to save him from the pain, let my things in "our" cellar and when I finally talked to him about it he was a different person! I lost a pair of skies, a grill and 800.-- Swiss francs out of it :-(

[moimeme]

Text him and have it dropped off at work. Don't go to his place. If he refuses, tell him you'll have the bill sent to him for getting a new key but ask him first.

[imjustagirl]

I'm definatly going through the same thing...we went on "hold" on Thursday, and decided to be "friends" on Sunday.

 

I went through the apartment and cleaned out 9 months worth of his stuff...there was a bunch.

 

Talked to him and he's coming over to pick it up tonight (yikes).

 

I've spent this morning removing my name from all contracts that we've done together.

 

Strange thing is...Blockbuster won't remove my name without his prior authorization.

 

~justa~

[flsgirl]

The less you hear or see from him the easier it will be for you to get past your pain. Yeah, of course you want to get the key from him to show him that you're fine without him and (you make sure you look really hot). Is it really worth it? You're just going to make all your feelings and pain come up again. I say e-mail or text message him and have him either drop it in the mail or put it under the doormat at your house/apartment when you're not home. It's a hell of a lot easier than having to deal with all these feelings and stress with seeing him again. Good luck

[Zankon]

Ha I was in the same situation. When I asked my ex indirectly through a friend to mail me the apt keys, she brought them to me the following day (luckily she didn't find me). So, I wondered why she drove a whole 2 hours to bring me 2 keys knowing that she's the one who initiated the break up. Is it to see me? To piss me off? Cuz she missed me?