ImLost07 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 So my bf and I were long distance for about 2.5 years. We broke up a few times but for the last 7 months have been going strong. Im writing this because as of mid May, my boyfriend and I have stopped having sex as much. Of course this infuriated me to be declined. Especially on my graduation weekend. He then tried to blame it on me and said I didnt "put out much effort". I got so pissed by it that it ruined our weekend. a few weeks have gone by since I graduated and moved back home (which means we arent as far away anymore, but its still a trip to go and see eachother) and its still the same situation.. Im so angry right now because I feel like hes losing interest, theres somebody else, or something funky is going on. Ive talked to him about it and he got all butt hurt about me telling him it wasnt enough compared to what we used to do. He kept assuring me that its just a change in our situation because we are around eachother a lot more. Now in my head Im thinking... "so what?". He told me it has nothing to do with me its just that sometimes he doesnt want to.. and since we have been spending more time together, its not as big of a deal if we dont do it cuz we will see eachother again soon. Compared to not seeing eachother for weeks and cramming it all in at once... That seems like bull**** to me. Ever since that weekend.. its been like this.. and im starting to think that something is definitely wrong. Maybe its all in my head.. but its starting to hurt my feelings. I want to know my boyfriend desires me and lusts for me. I dont want him to have sex with me just because im there and available.. Aside from the sex part, our relationship has been better than it ever has on an emotional level. blah Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 I'm sorry to hear this It hurts because it feels like rejection, and yeah it does make you feel like you need to be on guard doesn't it? No matter how well everything else seems to feel, if that's not there it makes you think "Ok, I can't just relax and enjoy myself here, because something is going on and I don't know what". Maybe he is just overloaded with work and now that you're not going to be LD (it sounds like?) maybe the reality is setting pressure on him in a tough way, that doesn't mean he doen't want to be with you but maybe now he's feeling the responsibility etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Regular Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Well.. it sounds like all the answers are in your post. He is probably used to the relationship's distance and hasn't fully adapted to you being around all the time. He says it's not what it used to be probably because there's no anticipation anymore of the next time you'll be together. He knows you're ready to jump into bed at any given moment because it sounds kind of like that's all you're thinking/talking about since moving back home. It's only been a couple of weeks... give it a rest. Things will get to the way they should be soon enough... Also, guys like the hunt.. the chase. I bet if you lay off on the sex issue for a bit and go about your days as usual he'll be on top of you in no time wanting some nookie Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 How often did you used to have sex and how often do you have sex now? Have you turned down any of his requests for sex or turned down trying new stuff several times before? Did you usually initiate sex before? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I dunno. Being long distance doesn't make libido go down, IMHO! When we can't see each other every day (and it doesn't sound like the OP sees her BF every day either), we WANT each other. When you DO make love, is he still enthusiastic about it? Link to post Share on other sites
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