This is the one…the one you’ve all been waiting for

[fooled once]

Sorry to disappoint you MWC, but I have never been cheated on I was once a OW and I am ashamed to admit that I sunk that low and didn't have enough self respect or dignity and allowed myself to get involved with someone who was married.

 

So obviously you must be an OW whose boyfriend's wife isn't stepping aside for you.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

I'm in quite a mood tonight, I'll have to admit. I am an OW and waiting for things to run their course, that's all. My MM has made the same statements as FoH's about buying a house, and being together, but it's complicated, and we have to be careful with timing, and just be patient. And I'm fully aware of what is at risk.

 

He won't come clean to her about everything, and he's trying to drag it out with her for a few more weeks (for some very good reasons) and she is being hard on him (understandably) and i just hate weekends because I have to wait til Monday to see him.

 

Sorry, I am being a big suck. I'm sick, and I'm cold, and I'm tired.

[lovekillsslowly]

ok everybody... something aint right here. Either poster is a troll, or totally in the fog. Everybody thats been here a while KNOWS its never that cut and dry... if this story is real, Lol, she got a long way to go... He hadnt even moved out yet. She talked to the W... LOL and she is just going to step aside, just like that, LOL, End of the year D? lol, divorce does not happen in 6 months in most cases, especially with children involved. She is totally in the fog, IF she resally thinks the Happy Ending is around the corner... MHO. Biggest competition of her life? LOL, thats just funny....something is totally off here and you guys dont see it.... troll...

 

Hi Mino. I'm new to LS and just started reading and posting a couple of weeks ago. Can you please explain to me what is a "troll". I have read it in a few posts but have never read a definition for it. Is it like a spy? Thanks for the info!

[Jilly Bean]

For the life of me, I'll never get why the OW/OM never seems to get that if they cheated WITH you, then will cheat ON you.

 

Cheating is a character flaw. It's not something that comes about from overwhelming love and passion. It comes from weakness, and most people who cheat once, continue to do so.

 

OP - there is no happy endings in these arrangements, and you shall reap what you have sown.

[Mino]

Hi Mino. I'm new to LS and just started reading and posting a couple of weeks ago. Can you please explain to me what is a "troll". I have read it in a few posts but have never read a definition for it. Is it like a spy? Thanks for the info!

A troll is someone who has no life and comes to create a fake story, which is usually pretty unbelievable... wAAYYYY out there:rolleyes:

[lovekillsslowly]

A troll is someone who has no life and comes to create a fake story, which is usually pretty unbelievable... wAAYYYY out there:rolleyes:

 

You mean people really have enough free time in their lives to sit around and make stories up and post them on LS???!!! Wow. They really need to get a life!

 

I wish the A that I got involved in was just a story I made up! It sure would make things a lot easier in my life!!!

 

But then I'd be getting called a "troll" by fellow posters and that would NOT be a good thing!

 

Thanks for explaining it to me!

[Mino]

You mean people really have enough free time in their lives to sit around and make stories up and post them on LS???!!! Wow. They really need to get a life!

 

I wish the A that I got involved in was just a story I made up! It sure would make things a lot easier in my life!!!

 

But then I'd be getting called a "troll" by fellow posters and that would NOT be a good thing!

 

Thanks for explaining it to me!

A troll gets called out pretty quick( most of the time) many times they start to contridict themselves... and the story is really "out there". Nobody here goes around calling someone a "troll:on a regular bases, its very seldom that one says that. But in this case, I think she is, or very naive as others have stated.

[Confused4Now]

Usually OW who do end up with their MM or an OM ends up with their MW, post about it after the fact. How many threads have we seen that actually turn out to be the opposite of what the plan was?

 

Wow ain't this the truth...or do we just remember them cause they are so far few and between?

[SidLyon]

... I was posting because this forum could use a story with a happy ending and this is it...

 

I haven't yet finished reading this thread so someone else may have already said it...

 

Where is the happy "ending" please? From what I can see it's far from ended.

[Mr. Lucky]

Call me immature but when a BS kicks and screams and does everything but step aside and say sayonara to the WS creates a little drama.

 

Wish him good luck, kick his a$$ to the curb, take what's yours (50%), make arrangements for child support, keep your dignity, get some counselling and find a better man to love you. Obviously you feel betrayed so why would you display all the anger and STILL want to keep him around?

MWC, I'm always confused by the notion presented by many OW's that the MM's marriage is just disposable fluff but your relationship with him is the real deal. You understand that he made a committment to his wife and on that foundation, which often includes children, a house and shared history, she's built a life ? So "step aside and say sayonara" is more than a little cavalier...

 

Mr. Lucky

[2sunny]

i'm noticing that the OP has been MIA now for a good part of the day and evening...

 

my hope is that she's reassessing her position and involvement in all of this... but experience says - probably not...

[2sunny]

This is so true. Afterall, they're divorcing because of the affair. I don't understand how the OW would make things worse, unless the wife decides not to get divorced just to spite the husband.

 

 

if the MM leaves his W at some point and then becomes resentful of the OW for her part in what chaos is created from all of this and starts to take his anger out on her through the course of the divorce proceedings - THAT is how she makes things worse.

[hoping2heal]

If I didn't believe in this relationship with everything that I have, what would be the point? Is it painful sometimes? Absolutely. The pain however, is temporary. Once I can get out of the waiting room, it's rainbows and unicorns from there....

We talk alot...never miss a day. It's not always about our future together, but we definitely don't avoid the subject. He keeps me updated on his progress with the kids, his search for a new home, renting vs. buying, etc...

This is the real deal...no question.

 

Just a word of caution,

 

My mom had a good friend in a similiar situation, they talked every single day, they were the love of eachother's lives (she proclaimed), he not only updated her on the progress of his children..she spoke to them herself very often. When push came to shove not once, not twice, but it took 3 times of him flaking out on her for her to get it, when all was said and done it finally came down too.. yes he was very attatched to her, but he was never really going to be with her, he wanted to be and played part in an illusion that brought him as far as he could take it, before it couldn't go on anymore.

 

Everything is not always what it seems. Secondly, I will speak as the child of a parent who had an affair, If it makes me self righteous and judgemental, I don't mind the title I will say it any day of the week, regardless if the parents are in love with eachother or not; it is never an excuse to get involved with a married man. The children of those who have affairs usually aren't the ones who post here, it's usually the BS's but I've seen and lived the pain it causes children of people who are in affairs and I personally find it nothing less than repungeant when someone comes on here gloating about how they have found some wonderful love story, whilst having no decency to give a second thought to what pain, damage or anguish it will cause to innocent children, and partners affected by it.

 

 

That said, the real kicker in all of this, is if you have any sense of charachter at all, you are doomed completely if this goes how you "want" it too, because gaining a "true love" by having an affair is a lot like winning the olympics because you took steroids. Yeah, you get what you want, but you'll always know deep down in your heart the entire thing is based on hurting others and deceit. It makes the whole victory empty.

[ednadean]

hoping to heal -- have to agree with you.

I think an affair becomes really really serious and horrible when it involves children. I feel guilty and horrible with myself for even engaging in an EA with a married man with kids.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Even if the poster is not a troll I say please be wary FOH. The MM I was involved with but is now living thousands of miles away recently promised me the earth then suddenly went NC on me for no apparent reason. It has taught me the proof really is in the pudding.

 

However I hope this does work out how you want but it seems theres still a long way to go.

[Can'tGiveUp]

MWC, I'm always confused by the notion presented by many OW's that the MM's marriage is just disposable fluff but your relationship with him is the real deal. You understand that he made a committment to his wife and on that foundation, which often includes children, a house and shared history, she's built a life ? So "step aside and say sayonara" is more than a little cavalier...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I can't say that I have noticed it as a comment made specifically by OW, but it does come up frequently. I always wonder if it is made by people who have never been married, or have had short M's in their past with no kids.

 

Ending a M, especially a long term one with kids involved, is not easy. Nor is it necessarily a quick process. And many of us would stay in a bad situation for ourselves, if we thought that it was better for our kids. Hence why so many MM say they are staying for the kids.

 

Perhaps the OP's MM is one of those that will leave as quickly as she thinks he will. If he does, and doesn't return to the M, I would think that the D was something that he had been considering before he ever met her.

[Touche]

Yes, interesting that she didn't come back.

 

I think this whole thing is a game to him...total fantasy like someone already implied.

 

As for saying the victory would be empty - that assumes that the OP even has a conscience about all of this. She obviously doesn't. So if she does get "her" man, she won't feel that the victory is hollow. She will have won the "comptetion" after all.

 

My prediction? This whole thread may have sparked a heated discussion between MM and Full Of. Perhaps she pressed him for a concrete plan or something. Bet he retreated big time! That's probably why she hasn't come back. No one likes to hear "I told you so."

[xpaperxcutx]

This thread needs this:

 

 

:laugh:

[Touche]

This thread needs this:

 

 

:laugh:

 

Why? She's already ecstatic in Rainbow and Unicorn Land. Here are her words:

 

I know this story is pretty upbeat. In my opinion, this forum could use a little “happy.”

 

I am very happy...and if I'm this happy now, while going through all of this, I'll be in happiness overload when it's all said and done.

 

See? Happy, happy, happy!

[Full Of Hope]

Wow..y'all have been busy. Lot's to answer so let's get started.

 

-How old am I? 28

-How old is he? 36

-Has he moved out? No.

-Has he filed for divorce? No.

-Has he told his children about the A? No.

-Does he plan to tell his children in the near future? Yes.

-Am I a troll? This is laughable. I had to look up the definition to even know what it was. No, I am not a troll. This is my life, believe it or not.

-Where does he sleep at night? The couch.

-Do the kids see this? Yes.

-Do they question it? No.

-Why don't I fly out there for a visit? I can't. I'm the team lead on a merger happening with my company. Have to be in the office for at least the next 6 weeks.

-Why doesn't he fly out to see me? He can't. He must be in the office for the next 4 weeks for the same reason as me. We have the same job, just different divisions.

-What do I expect from him by "D-Day"? I expect for him to be separated, with divorce proceedings in the works.

-What does "when he decided to be with me" mean? This, to me, is when he decided he wanted a future with me. When he made the decision to divorce his wife, and leave the life he's known for all these years behind...for me. Making the decision to divorce and divorcing are the same thing to me. He is a man of his word with me. I know I'll take a lot of heat for this one, but whatever...bring it.

-Am I naive? Perhaps. But, I trust the man I love completely. When did that become wrong?

-Am I cold-hearted? Not at all. Anyone who knows me could vouch for that.

-Do I care about the effect this has on his family? Of course I do.

-Do I block out that part of the equation in my mind? More often than not.

-Am I proud of that? No.

-Is he actually discussing divorce, custody, etc.. with his wife? Yes.

-Is she aware that they will divorce? Yes.

-What did I discuss with the W? The first time we spoke she asked me to back off. Did I? No. The second time she called me every name in the book. The third time she told me I could have him. And the fourth and final time, she explained that she knew it was inevitable that he would be with me, but asked that I not force the issue...that she needed him around to help with the kids in order to focus on her classes.

 

I think that about covers it.

 

Let me make 1 thing clear. In my original post, I said "This will end well." I did not say it HAD ALREADY ended well. The reason I posted now was because I thought it would be nice to read a story from the middle, and watch it play out in favor of the OW. This IS a forum for people in my situation. Since I've been reading stories on LS I have yet to see it happen. Call me pompous, cocky, whatever you like...but I am so confident in how this will end up I went ahead and posted before he even moved out. I thought it would be good for other OW's to watch it unfold....guess I was wrong.

[lovekillsslowly]

Full Of Hope, I hope that all your dreams and hopes that you have for you and this man come true. I hope that the faith you have in him and the things he tells you are truly coming from his heart and that he means every word of them. I wish you the best.

[Lyssa]

Since I've been reading stories on LS I have yet to see it happen. Call me pompous, cocky, whatever you like...but I am so confident in how this will end up I went ahead and posted before he even moved out. I thought it would be good for other OW's to watch it unfold....guess I was wrong.

 

LOL - Read again. There are stories of happy endings, actual happy endings - just that it was told in a less cocky tone .

[Full Of Hope]

Full Of Hope, I hope that all your dreams and hopes that you have for you and this man come true. I hope that the faith you have in him and the things he tells you are truly coming from his heart and that he means every word of them. I wish you the best.

 

Aren't you a breath of fresh air! Thanks!

[Touche]

Wow..y'all have been busy. Lot's to answer so let's get started.

 

-How old am I? 28

-How old is he? 36

 

Wow, I was dead on in guessing your ages. I'm not surprised at all.

 

-Has he moved out? No.

-Has he filed for divorce? No.

 

Of course he hasn't. And more than likely he won't. He's "been with you" for almost a year and still hasn't. Guarantee you things have calmed down at home.

 

 

-Has he told his children about the A? No.

-Does he plan to tell his children in the near future? Yes.

OMG, Sorry but you really ARE naive.

 

-Am I a troll? This is laughable. I had to look up the definition to even know what it was. No, I am not a troll. This is my life, believe it or not.

 

I never really, really thought you were a troll per se. A troll would have at least had the guy in his own place before declaring this one a success.

 

 

-Where does he sleep at night? The couch.

 

OMG, did I call that one also, or did I call it? You believe him?

 

 

-Do the kids see this? Yes.

-Do they question it? No.

 

Soooo naive. Trust me...kids ask questions. Unless they're deaf and blind and mute, they would absolutely question why their father is all of a sudden sleeping on the couch. Man, does he have you hoodwinked. He must not think you're too swift to feed you that line.

 

 

-Why don't I fly out there for a visit? I can't. I'm the team lead on a merger happening with my company. Have to be in the office for at least the next 6 weeks.

-Why doesn't he fly out to see me? He can't. He must be in the office for the next 4 weeks for the same reason as me. We have the same job, just different divisions.

 

Of course he can't. He can't fly out to see you but he's going to disrupt his whole family life for you. Have I got that right?

 

 

-What do I expect from him by "D-Day"? I expect for him to be separated, with divorce proceedings in the works.

-What does "when he decided to be with me" mean? This, to me, is when he decided he wanted a future with me. When he made the decision to divorce his wife, and leave the life he's known for all these years behind...for me. Making the decision to divorce and divorcing are the same thing to me. He is a man of his word with me. I know I'll take a lot of heat for this one, but whatever...bring it.

 

Making the decision to divorce and actually doing it are NOT the same thing at all. One is just words..yada, yada,blah, blah...the other is an ACTION. See the difference? Apparently these cheating MM's are really good at the former and not too good on the latter. Bet he's given YOU no time line has he? The time line is all in your head.

 

 

-Am I naive? Perhaps. But, I trust the man I love completely. When did that become wrong?

 

Are you serious with that question? Wow. Just wow.

 

 

-Am I cold-hearted? Not at all. Anyone who knows me could vouch for that.

-Do I care about the effect this has on his family? Of course I do.

-Do I block out that part of the equation in my mind? More often than not.

-Am I proud of that? No.

-Is he actually discussing divorce, custody, etc.. with his wife? Yes.

 

Yeah, because he told you he is right? Geezzz.

 

 

-Is she aware that they will divorce? Yes.

 

How do you know? Let me guess...he told you right?

 

 

-What did I discuss with the W? The first time we spoke she asked me to back off. Did I? No. The second time she called me every name in the book. The third time she told me I could have him. And the fourth and final time, she explained that she knew it was inevitable that he would be with me, but asked that I not force the issue...that she needed him around to help with the kids in order to focus on her classes.

 

Well wow. This tells me volumes. She ain't going nowhere and neither is he. You've lost your "competition." No doubt about it. Why the wife still wants him is beyond me but they do have a long history together from what I can tell. He's known you less than a year and you've only seen each other a few times. No competition there. And yes, they still are sleeping together. No doubt about that either.

 

I think that about covers it.

 

It sure does. The writing is on the wall on this one.

 

Let me make 1 thing clear. In my original post, I said "This will end well." I did not say it HAD ALREADY ended well. The reason I posted now was because I thought it would be nice to read a story from the middle, and watch it play out in favor of the OW. This IS a forum for people in my situation. Since I've been reading stories on LS I have yet to see it happen. Call me pompous, cocky, whatever you like...but I am so confident in how this will end up I went ahead and posted before he even moved out. I thought it would be good for other OW's to watch it unfold....guess I was wrong.

 

You're wrong on so many levels that it's not even funny. And guess why you don't read stories of it working out in favor of the OW? Because it almost never happens as has been pointed out. They all thought they were the exception to that as well.

 

I do think this will be a VERY valuable thread in this forum though. Thhis plays out as if it's scripted. How do you think I got those tidbits right? I've seen it a million times on here. Gosh these men must really think you gals are stupid. I'd be insulted if I were fed these lines.

 

Yep, you're very naive. And one day you're going to say "What the HELL was I thinking. And hopefully, you'll find true love. Because, trust me, this ain't it. This will run its course before year's end. (Yep, I'm making another prediction.)

[Full Of Hope]

Man, you're tough Touche. We'll just have to wait and see won't we...