MichelleS1983 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 It's unfair to say he isn't putting his kids first. His kids are the only reason we aren't together yet. It's important to him to keep his relationship with them in tact as best he can. You've GOT to be kidding me. Super Dad has just completely pulled the bottom out of his kid's entire WORLD with his selfish little fantasy with you - and you honestly think this guy has been putting his kids FIRST? :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Not at all. My kids love him. My parents even like him. He's a very likeable guy. I wouldn't move across the country if I didn't have the means to let my kids see their father whenever they like. I'm not THAT selfish. Your kids LOVE hime???? How much time have your kids really spent with him when he lives 2,000 miles away? Why would you introduce your children to an affair partner to begin with? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Full Of... I get that you trust him and the two of you are in love and that you feel very confident that he is going to come through for you. And I'm not going to question any of that...because there really is no reason that all of those things cannot be true. The thing is...be happy while you are being patient, of course. But...on the chance, he for some reason, he is unable to come through the way you are expecting...don't be completely unprepared. Be happy but dont make plans with or around him at this point. NONE. Your circumstance, the MM, the words he is giving you are so very very similar to so many here that have ended in heartbreak...be patient but take NO action , make no changes, until he does. You might be an intelligent and mature woman who usually sees things as real as they are. But right now, you either are not yourself or are caught up in something and not necessarily thinking clearly. Just take it for what it is right now - that costs you nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Until he divorces and you actually have proof of that, this man isn't yours. You can hope all you want, believe every word out of his mouth - Just don't count the chickens yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 I mean...whats the longest contiguous block of time you two have spent together NOT at work? We took a 2 week vacation once, and a week long vacation twice. That's about the extent of our non-work related alone time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 But you have 6 months to find that out, right? If he does nothing by then, you're out, right? That's the plan! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I’ve been involved with my MM for just under a year now. We took a 2 week vacation once, and a week long vacation twice. Hmmm........... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 This is getting worse and worse. FoH isn't likely to share any specifics because she probably feels the holes we are poking into her delusion. You can poke all the holes you want, but I still have to go with my gut... I will say this though. If I start to lose faith in the relationship, I promise to let you all know. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 That's the plan! Well, that's good. Hope you can stick to it and not waste years like some of the other OW's. That would be such a waste. Hmmm........... Why not elaborate, carhill? Oh and off-topic for a sec, sorry.... thanks SB. Yeah, I hope that 7 to 10 year period in your marriage is a smooth one. So how did you manage to get away for that long FOH? What did he tell his wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 You can poke all the holes you want, but I still have to go with my gut... I will say this though. If I start to lose faith in the relationship, I promise to let you all know. Well that's honest of you. You ARE thick-skinned! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hmm...... means I'm sensing inconsistencies. It's a feeling. If this is authentic, there's something else going on here. I just can't put my finger on it yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 The difference was I told him to do what he thought was best for him and his family. Told him I won't be his second best etc. I didn't stop living my life when I found out his was married - I see that some OW tend to do that. Another thing that my fiance did differently was that he actually took actions. He did what he said he would do. I'm all out for those who know what they want - I'm happy for those who have happy ending - whatever type of relationship they have BUT until you actually have THE happy ending, I don't think you should call it that, you know. Lyssa, I think you should elaborate on the bolded part so others know what the "script" should REALLY look like. I mean if you can be specific. I have a feeling that what your guy said/did is waaaay different than what FOH's MM is saying/doing. (or more likely saying/not doing.) Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hmm...... means I'm sensing inconsistencies. It's a feeling. If this is authentic, there's something else going on here. I just can't put my finger on it yet. Weird, huh? I've been giving her the benefit of the doubt all along but I too have seen things that like I said, aren't passing the smell test for me. My instincts aren't normally off so who knows.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 I'm not a BW, but honestly - are you such a GHOUL that you can call this devastating situation for a family that's breaking up a "happy ending?" How self-absorbed does one have to be to watch a woman's life shatter in front of her face and their children have their world ripped apart - and call it a "happy ending?" I'm truly amazed at how self-centered some people are. Secondly, your lying, cheating "boyfriend's" wife found out what a low-life she's REALLY married to and has kicked him to the curb. THAT'S your happy ending? Getting some woman's trash that she's kicked to the curb? If she changes her mind and wants to work on the marriage, don't be surprised when your "boyfriend" starts feeding you lies about why he hasn't moved out. ROFL!! Yeah, this is a fairy tale come true, alright. Good luck with that. Wow....you're a feisty one! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I'm not a BW, but honestly - are you such a GHOUL that you can call this devastating situation for a family that's breaking up a "happy ending?" How self-absorbed does one have to be to watch a woman's life shatter in front of her face and their children have their world ripped apart - and call it a "happy ending?" I'm truly amazed at how self-centered some people are. Secondly, your lying, cheating "boyfriend's" wife found out what a low-life she's REALLY married to and has kicked him to the curb. THAT'S your happy ending? Getting some woman's trash that she's kicked to the curb? If she changes her mind and wants to work on the marriage, don't be surprised when your "boyfriend" starts feeding you lies about why he hasn't moved out. ROFL!! Yeah, this is a fairy tale come true, alright. Good luck with that. Uhm, no Michelle. Read the thread. The wife hasn't but the garbage out yet. I'd guess she's trying to recycle it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Your kids LOVE hime???? How much time have your kids really spent with him when he lives 2,000 miles away? Why would you introduce your children to an affair partner to begin with? Well, they like him a whole lot at least! I introduced them when we decided we wanted a future together.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 So how did you manage to get away for that long FOH? What did he tell his wife? The business trip cover always seemed to work...except for the time we got caught Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 We took a 2 week vacation once, and a week long vacation twice. That's about the extent of our non-work related alone time. I was not going to post in this thread until I saw this. Seriously??? You have spent a total of 4 weeks on vacation over the course of a year with this man but he is still living at home with his wife?? His wife put up with him going off on vacation for weeks at a time alone? Or His wife knowingly put up with him going off on vacation for weeks at a time with you?? And he is still living in the house with her?? This doesn't ring true Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hmm...... means I'm sensing inconsistencies. It's a feeling. If this is authentic, there's something else going on here. I just can't put my finger on it yet. How so? I'll be happy to clarify whatever I need to... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 His wife put up with him going off on vacation for weeks at a time alone? Or His wife knowingly put up with him going off on vacation for weeks at a time with you?? And he is still living in the house with her?? This doesn't ring true Of course not. We work for the same company and both travel. It's a pretty easy cover... Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 The business trip cover always seemed to work...except for the time we got caught So how did that go down exactly? I guess some of what makes me wonder about all of this is that you're so sure you're going to end up with him but in the meantime there seems to be no concrete plan of action on his part. All the planning seems to be only on your side. Have I gotten the wrong impression? What exactly is he telling you vis-a-vis you moving out to where he is, when he's moving out, when he's filing for divorce, etc. etc. That's what I'm not hearing in this story that "we've all been waiting for." Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 All this time together (add it up, including the every six weeks part), combined with never having been to his home city and not knowing anyone there, not even a friend of a friend, but, conversely, having an employer on the same page who is fully disclosed and enabling circumstances to support a relationship just isn't passing the smell test with me. Are you in Europe? Hopefully the ladies here who are good with plot lines can help me out. This almost sounds like a script for a movie... Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hey OP....how's it going in this forum whose intention it is to provide "Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner"? Not so supportive is it....hmmm....as I wonder for the millionth time why it is allowed to go on this way no matter how many alerts are sent to Mods. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hey OP....how's it going in this forum whose intention it is to provide "Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner"? Not so supportive is it....hmmm....as I wonder for the millionth time why it is allowed to go on this way no matter how many alerts are sent to Mods. Perhaps their view of "support" is closer to some of the other posters here than yours? I'm not going to guess at the veracity of this thread or not...I'm simply going to say that the content of the thread doesn't quite match the title...the situation isn't over yet, nor is it RESOLVED in the way that everyone "hopes for". It might work out that...it might not. It's waaayyy too early to tell yet. Link to post Share on other sites
cheatingheart Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Perhaps their view of "support" is closer to some of the other posters here than yours? Pretty sure that most people's definition of "support" doesn't mean telling another person she's delusional and calling her a ghoul. It's interesting the different ways people define what it means to be a good person, isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
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