xpaperxcutx Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I thought the MMs words were poetic, albeit too well versed... I never heard anyone speak like that unless they were in a movie and the lines were being fed to them. Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 You always bring a smile to my face Mine, too! She's my girl... Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I am not aware if there is a measuring stick for flaming--in my world, there are no degrees of flaming-either you are or you are not...yes, it's black or white Yes, FoH has been gracious. I think that is part of the problem, she can't be broken! I mean, what is with all this positivity? It's not normal, FoH ! The way you have worded the above is neutral (it's not negative, not positive-it just is), non-judgmental and kind. Please do not make me quote other people's statements. YOU know as well as I know people have been mean. Oh okay...let me give you two examples (there are more but who needs to read them again? I mean, really..). Is it necessary to call her delusional? That's pretty serious. I know, i know "just being honest-lol....AS IF....! How about telling her "her head is way up her azz?" Whoah, do we not have enough words to convey the same message without using that kind of language? I never doubted this possibility. Yes, I know. It's very annoying to insult someone and then she just responds with a smiley ! Only if you respond the way they want you to respond.... :laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
JMC Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 One thing I have NEVER seen on these forums is an OW say that calling a BW insulting names is unacceptable. Yet' date=' people stand up for OWs all the time[/b'] - for far less, mind you. Its a shameful double standard. Read....my.....lips.....very......carefully....now. It. Is. Our. Forum. Was that clear enough.....? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted June 9, 2009 Senior Moderators Share Posted June 9, 2009 This thread has gone plenty long enough and some posters are getting out of hand. I'm sure the OP has gotten something out of it. Time to zip it up. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
snowflake1961 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ok so if he loves you so much why has he not left his wife? Ya know my best friend is married... I live with them... Her husband has cheated on her numerous times, but he LOVES her with all of his heart. He tells the other girls all kinds of stuff... he is not happy he is seperated blah blah blah but every single time she has caught him... I mean red handed he left the other woman right then and there got in the car with her and went home. Dont get me wrong people do marry the wrong person every day but if he honestly wanted to be with you he would leave her and be with you. Come on now its been a year and he wants you but he is with his WIFE. Doesnt make sense. Some men cheat that is just what they do but when push comes to shove he is still with his wife. I dont mean to be harsh but it is the truth. Another example. My boyfriend when I met him he was in a relationship of two years. We started kickin it... I started liking him. I told him if you are going to be with her I cant be with you... He told her he wanted me and left her the next day. That is love. You shouldnt sit here and waste your life on him with out knowing for sure if he is lying to you. Give him an ultimatum and see what happens. If he tells you he is staying with her because of the kids etc... THEN HE LOVES HER. Point blank period. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Lyssa, I think you should elaborate on the bolded part so others know what the "script" should REALLY look like. I mean if you can be specific. I have a feeling that what your guy said/did is waaaay different than what FOH's MM is saying/doing. (or more likely saying/not doing.) "Baby, I know this is not how a couple starts a relationship, I know I have put you through a lot of pain and I hate that... I'm suppose to make you feel good, not cause you pain so I will make it better... just give me a bit more time" - the scripts were obviously more than this . In fact, FMM posts here as well - sometimes anyway . I almost gave up cause I'm a bit impatient in nature but some of FOW here told me that it could happen to me so if I had it in me to wait - wait for a bit more but if I didn't have it in me.... move on. A few months later, he surprised me with his divorce papers which he already went through without telling me. Those times when I thought he was just saying things to make me feel good... he was actually making it real. Reading this thread, I can't help but see that some BS or even those who are not BS/OW - they are supportive, yes some do sound bitter but if you read it with an open mind... those people are just trying to tell FOH to not hold on to this MM so tight cause seriously, it does not look good at all... I may be wrong but from what I have read FOH's posts... I don't see any happy ending happening anytime soon - not the way she wants it, anyway. I have a friend who was in the same situation as FOH and let me tell you this, she is a wreck right now and the affair ended 3 yrs ago. She waited years for him... said the same thing - "I'm working things out with my W to see what's best to do etc" in other words, my friend's MM was actually working things out to MAKE IT WORK WITH HER and their kids. Just saying.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 FOH, this is one of the posts FMM posted in another thread - I think it was JJ33's thread from a year or so ago. You are absolutely right there. Words are nothing if they are not backed up by actions. I made my decision because I love OW-turned-SO and I can honestly say that after all that we have been through, I cannot see my life without her. That is the first time I ever felt that way for a woman and I knew I better get something done if I didn't want to lose her forever. I am sure MM will do what's best for both you and him but if there were no actions done after all the things he has said to you then the best FOR YOU is to move on without him in your life. I cannot thank my love enough for showing me this board -- it made me realise the emotions she had to go through, not to mention the pain. I thought what I was going through in my marriage was hard and painful but to read some of the things you ladies go through.... and I am sorry on behalf of MM out there (who are too coward to do something) for putting some of you ladies through this pain. Words that came from FMM... I'm sure pretty much everyone agrees that talk is cheap if no actions were taken. I really wish you all the best and I have nothing much to say anymore cause you don't seem to acknowledge FOW/OW that are telling you that things are not as easy. You only acknowledge those who support your "happy ending". All the best, FOH. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 When I picture this moment, it's like watching a scene from a movie...makes me giggle a little now. We were in a hotel room, standing out on the balcony, and I was just drilling him with question after question after question. I was all rowdy that night...tears rolling down my cheeks, hair stuck to my face, I was a royal mess. He practically had to shake me to get me to calm down. But when I did, he held my face in his hands and said something to the effect of this. I am convinced that I love you more than any man ever has. I am convinced that I will love your kids like they were my own. I am convinced that our life together will be a great one. I have a wife who loves me, kids that admire me, and friends that respect me. But I'm here. With you. Ready and willing to give it all up. I know you're worth it. I know it's the right decision....but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm willing to change my entire life for you, but you can't even trust me. I have never given you any reason to doubt me, so why do you? I couldn't answer the question. I just stood there and cried. Then I cried a little more....and a little more. That was the night that changed everything. I, as a bw, heard very similar words the morning before the evening that he left my life. This was after one dday. I was trying so hard to find out why my husband was being so distant when he reassured me daily it wasover and he loved me. We would sleep with our arms wrapped around each other but his arms were holding me tighter and tighter every day and he wouldn't let me go, He would sigh in his sleep and not talk much. I would beg him to tell me what it is he wanted to tell me. Just tell me. Then I asked the question. Are you leaving? Is it her? He held me so tight it was hard to breathe. He looked right at me. Told me to stop. Told me he was right there with me. That he came home to me every night. That he's with me and only me and I don't I feel how much he loves me can't I tell he's with me. Then he kissed my forhead and told me how beautiful I am. That night I got a drunken phone call from her, my former best friend, that she was in a hotel with him. That very same night. He loves you when he is with you but he very well may love his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted June 9, 2009 Senior Moderators Share Posted June 9, 2009 OK, enough. Thread closed! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts