soserious1 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Let's discuss positive self affirming things we're doing to help us heal from the pain of infidelity. Couples work, individual counseling, this things are important, needed but draining. What things are you doing to promote wellness and healing for yourself? All members of the affair triangle are welcome in this thread and let's all please try to be supportive of each other. I've been walking for 30 minutes every day, I've always been fairly slim and make reasonable food choices but have stepped that effort up, lots of fresh organic, produce, fish, chicken. I went out, got a facial, eyebrows, pedi and mani, hair cut and colored. I'm going to sit outside this evening , a glass of wine and my netbook. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Soserious, with every post I am more and more impressed by what a Cool Chickaroni you are!! While recovering from my A disaster, many years ago (and come to think of it... every other disastrous situation I've been in since then!!), the one thing that helped me the most was surrounding myself with positive people. When you look into a good friend's eyes, the reflection coming back at you is a source of great comfort. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Let's discuss positive self affirming things we're doing to help us heal from the pain of infidelity. Couples work, individual counseling, this things are important, needed but draining. What things are you doing to promote wellness and healing for yourself? All members of the affair triangle are welcome in this thread and let's all please try to be supportive of each other. I've been walking for 30 minutes every day, I've always been fairly slim and make reasonable food choices but have stepped that effort up, lots of fresh organic, produce, fish, chicken. I went out, got a facial, eyebrows, pedi and mani, hair cut and colored. I'm going to sit outside this evening , a glass of wine and my netbook. bread baking, reading proust, going out on the p*ss w girlfriends from time to time, auditioned for and got into a world-famous gospel choir (even though i'm an atheist!), laughing a lot w my husband, cleaning out closets, rearranging my therapy office..... Link to post Share on other sites
DNU1 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 STBx and I started P90x this spring...we fell off the wagon there for a while, then back on. Since divorce day I've been going the "P" as I call it consistently. Eating healthy. Coming on this and another board for support and encouragment Seeing friends and family regularly! Seeing an IC for my needs Taking care of my kiddos! Taking care of my needs. Not catering to my STBx any more. Don't care what she needs...I'm not doing it any more. She's on her own...and that is empowering for ME! Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 I go for an early morning bike ride 3 times a week, along the lake, stop to get a coffee and sit on a bench and watch the rowers row. Not able to eat properly yet, but I do think about doing so more often. Will go out shopping for a new wardrobe soon and am planning on a new career but need to pass a medical, which I failed last month, but will try again at the end of the month. I need to reduce stress so have taken up reading again and I try to squeeze in a nap during the day because I sleep fitfully through the night. My alcohol consumption is right down, now it's just a few beers a week. Still taking a few anti-anxiety pills though and smoking like a chimney. I really must quit. I pray often, pray for the hurting to stop. Some days are better than others. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 vegging on the couch is all I can do. I have severe tonsillitis so I can't eat or drink, the weather sucks right now (my furnace is still on and it's frickin June 6!). My MM is gone to the cabin again with BS for another weekend of pretending while he plans his exit (as far as I know - with this mood I'm in it's easy to be skeptical). I'm also feeling low in another part of my life, reflecting back to my pre-teen days where some things were done to me by some older boys that never should have happened, thinking maybe I used that to justify my habits today. Then I get more texts from a coworker/friend who used to text me sexual messages (started as a joke a couple years ago) and he started up again, and I don't reply, but today he got quite rude when I didn't reply, and made me sink again. It's just not a good day. I have my kids this weekend and feel I've been ignoring them, they're bored and I feel so bad. and I'm so tired. ohhhh now I know... PMS ....God!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Well, I dyed my hair platinum, eat healthier, exercise at the gym regularly, more for my head than my body and dammit all- it feels good! Took a creative writing class, stained-glass making, yoga, and country line dancing. I speak regularly to some wonderful friends I am so fortunate to have! I blog at LS and other sites, but mostly I read, read, read, and research relationships, infidelity, and the power of positive thinking, and what it takes to heal and grow. I avoid negative people, chronic complainers, and those so embittered by it all. I don't want to go there anymore. I am in therapy and am seeking a new MC, but not too hard, which says something, doesn't it? I have learned I love him, but he has to love himself more first, to become a better partner to me and have taken a wait and see attitude. I gave my children 150 percent of my time and attention and as young adults, feel assured they have all the tools they need to be successful if they so choose. After so many years of putting the needs of others above my own, I am now, for maybe the first time in my life, thinking of want in my life and in my future and it feels right. Link to post Share on other sites
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