Going to clubs

[c1pkw]

Hi everyone, thanks for reading....

 

I'm a single guy in my late 20s in the UK. Most of my friends are all married off or live in different parts of the country so I don't really have anyone to go out to clubs and bars with. Obviously, every culture is different but here clubs and bars are the place for meeting the opposite sex. Unlike some places I know, like the US, there is nothing sleazy about meeting people in bars here.

 

Anyway, explanation over, my question is: do you think it is ok to go along to a club on my own to get talking to girls and generally meet people? I'm a bit worried that it seems a bit wierd but on the other hand, why should it be?

 

I particularly appreciate views from the UK as this is a bit of a cultural question really but all views welcome.

 

Thanks!

[lazlow99]

Hi, I'm 20 and from the UK.

 

I don't like meeting girls in clubs/bars because from my experience either you, they or both of you are really drunk and it just ends up being a cheap one night stand, which is okay if thats what you want, but I can't say I'm a fan. You can't talk to someone in a club, find out what kind of person they are or anything. I can't say the chances of developing a meaningful relationship with someone you met in a club being very high. Also you have to be careful who you approach because you don't know who they're with, especially if you're drunk cause it could lead to trouble.

 

As for going to bars and clubs on your own, you'd have to be massively confident to do that and pull it off. I know I couldn't do it, and I think I would find someone going to a club on their own a bit strange, and you find that most people go out in groups so its not really an inviting atmosphere for people on their own.

[dunstable]

I'm from the UK though living now in Texas. I've never ever picked a woman up in a bar. Don't want to waste my time drinking on the off chance someone approachable will come along. Would not know how to break the ice anyway. Would also be suspicious of anyone I met that way. Maybe I'm out of touch with the current ways of doing things but I'd much rather use a dating agency or website where one can screen prospective partners before meeting them. In fact, you can screen huge numbers of people -- how long would it take to do the same by chance encounters in bars? (PS not sure you are right when you say picking up women in bars is considered sleazy in the US but not in the UK - didn't the US invent the concept of singles bars?)

[Prodigal Princess]

I'm a 27 year old female from Oz. It can be annoying on this forum where most people are older or from the US and they just don't get the pub culture we have.

 

Anyway, I go out to pubs and bars by myself all the time and always end up meeting cool people. Granted, I usually go out by myself after the 2am mark when all my mates have gone home and I'm liquored up and still ready to party, however I have on occasion started out by myself. It's also easier for me being an attractive female, but as long as you don't have a lecherous look about you, you should be fine.

 

The key is to have a few drinks before you get there, then you won't feel weird or self conscious about being by yourself. I'd also make friends with the bartenders so when you're standing by the bar waiting for a chick to catch your eye, you have someone to talk to. Also, pick your place carefully. You won't feel comfortable on the pull at some of the more upmarket places, in fact it can be downright depressing. Dive bars or locals are the best, as people are more relaxed and open to being approached.

 

A great side effect of going out by yourself also is you won't just be picking up chicks, you'll also meet new friends. I've made heaps of new friends from being out by myself, and from there you find new groups to go out with.

 

Good luck,soldier.

[dunstable]

I'm a 27 year old female from Oz. It can be annoying on this forum where most people are older or from the US and they just don't get the pub culture we have.

 

I stand corrected!

[dunstable]

Granted, I usually go out by myself after the 2am mark when all my mates have gone home and I'm liquored up...

Isn't it sad you have to be liquored up? If it was such a natural way of meeting, why the need to be drunk?

 

Also, don't you think it dangerous to meet strangers when liquored up?

[Samari]

Hi everyone, thanks for reading....

 

I'm a single guy in my late 20s in the UK. Most of my friends are all married off or live in different parts of the country so I don't really have anyone to go out to clubs and bars with. Obviously, every culture is different but here clubs and bars are the place for meeting the opposite sex. Unlike some places I know, like the US, there is nothing sleazy about meeting people in bars here.

 

Anyway, explanation over, my question is: do you think it is ok to go along to a club on my own to get talking to girls and generally meet people? I'm a bit worried that it seems a bit wierd but on the other hand, why should it be?

 

I particularly appreciate views from the UK as this is a bit of a cultural question really but all views welcome.

 

Thanks!

 

Well I'm not from the UK. I'm from the USA. However, your post reminds me of an event that occurred one year ago. I was actually in Tokyo, Japan for ten days living with my buddy around the area of Roppongi (very rich area with a lot of night spots with western influence). My buddy was kind of the lazy type and didn't want to do anything but stay home during the evening. It was my first trip to Japan so I wanted to explore. Particularly a night spot. So I had no choice by to go out by myself.

 

I went to a bar/dancing club place alone. I felt really out of place doing so. And I was only 20 years old at the time. I remember basically being on the sidelines with a beer in my hand. And even that seemed strange. Luckily a guy was in the same situation and we decided to hang around each other until we met some other people. And I ended up meeting a group of people and we all had a lot of fun.

 

The point of the story is if the UK is big on the club scene to meet people, AT LEAST take one other person with you. I'm not sure about the UK, but in Tokyo the girls really feel uncomfortable when a guy is at a club or whatever and he's all alone. I met up with another buddy in Tokyo who has been living there for seven years and he gave me the details. The girls there actually prefer a group of guys and feel safer as illogical as that may seem.

[someg]

Anyway, explanation over, my question is: do you think it is ok to go along to a club on my own to get talking to girls and generally meet people? I'm a bit worried that it seems a bit wierd but on the other hand, why should it be?

 

I am from the US and I am a male. I have never gone to a club by myself but I have gone to bars by myself.

 

I have approached girls by myself. For me it wasn't an easy thing to do. It is really scary to go to a bar all by yourself for the exact same reasons you say plus a million more. What do I say? How do I approach? There's also a need for some social skills. So it is not easy.

 

Other than not being easy, it's not weird at all. You just need to be able to explain yourself if they ask who you are here with. For example, you can just say something like, "I was hanging out with my friends earlier but they all went home but I wanted to stay out longer to meet some new people, make some new friends."

 

Quite frankly, if you are a guy who has enough balls to go to a bar/club by yourself and socialize with men and women, I give you props because it is not an easy things to do.

 

As for Prodigal Princess, I wish I was a good looking female...

[Joey Popps]

A good looking female who is liquored up and heads out by herself to a bar after 2am is a woman who is asking to be on the news regardless of where you live. It's one thing to hit a local dive bar or pub for a drink or two after work and go home. People do that all the time. As far as clubs though I think in many places girls would look at a guy by himself as some kind of loser. First thing would be 'no friends' and so on.

 

And as far as meeting other dudes to just try and hang with and talk to if you go by yourself as a guy, it really depends if you fit in or not. Many times random male strangers aren't looking to add another male to the mix, not unless you have 4 or 5 girls hanging off your shoulders.

 

There are some guys who can role into a club solo and make friends with every male and female. But I'd say out of 1000 guys maybe 1 can do this. Which means you probably aren't that guy if you have to ask on a forum.

 

You can go out and do it and try and have a good time and not worry about hooking up or meeting anybody, but don't be surprised if people look at you with strange stares.

[way_2_tired]

My friends like bars only and I like clubs only. So sometimes I just go alone. I like to dance.

 

I think some people have looked at me a bit strange but I really don't care. Usually I find a small group of the girls (I'm a girl) dancing and I just ask to join. Nobody has said no.

 

Sometimes guys will ask me ot dance and sometimes I ask them. I'm there to get out and have some fun, dance and exercise a bit. Not to get wasted or get laid. I also realize there are billions of people on the planet. so what if one guy says no when I ask him to dance?

 

 

I just act friendly and chat with people off the floor. It probably helps that I usually look so happy it looks like i must have won the lotto. this is actually because I'm so relieved not to be studying or training and it is usually my first evening off in 3 or 4 weeks.

 

my only advice would bet hat I do not usually like it when I'm dancing with girls on the floor and some guy comes up and trys to start dancing with me close.

I prefer it if they chat with me a few minutes off the floor first.

 

I am living in the US (but originally from UK), but honestly I don't understand why people say oh you can't meet good people in a bar or club. Really. I'm a good person and I'm in a club. why wouldn't there be others?

[Samari]

My friends like bars only and I like clubs only. So sometimes I just go alone. I like to dance.

 

I think some people have looked at me a bit strange but I really don't care. Usually I find a small group of the girls (I'm a girl) dancing and I just ask to join. Nobody has said no.

 

Sometimes guys will ask me ot dance and sometimes I ask them. I'm there to get out and have some fun, dance and exercise a bit. Not to get wasted or get laid. I also realize there are billions of people on the planet. so what if one guy says no when I ask him to dance?

 

 

I just act friendly and chat with people off the floor. It probably helps that I usually look so happy it looks like i must have won the lotto. this is actually because I'm so relieved not to be studying or training and it is usually my first evening off in 3 or 4 weeks.

 

my only advice would bet hat I do not usually like it when I'm dancing with girls on the floor and some guy comes up and trys to start dancing with me close.

I prefer it if they chat with me a few minutes off the floor first.

 

I am living in the US (but originally from UK), but honestly I don't understand why people say oh you can't meet good people in a bar or club. Really. I'm a good person and I'm in a club. why wouldn't there be others?

It's a lot easier for girls though than guys when it comes to going to a club alone. It may be a double standard, but there is a "creepy" sort of stigma with guys when they go to clubs alone.

[lora22]

Sorry, from the US not UK, but I go out by myself fairly often, or start the night out by myself and then meet up with friends later on. That's bars though, I'm not really a club person, and I'll only go to a club if my friends drag me. I've also met a lot of guys who are out by themselves, and I love meeting new people.

 

I know a LOT of people who go to clubs by themselves (although they're mostly in Cali, so maybe it's a regional attitude thing).

 

From my and their experiences, I'd say there's nothing wrong with it, and it's only weird if you're being awkward or a jerk. If you're friendly and outgoing, no one thinks anything of it.

[yongyong]

Club is the place where even trash chicks say 'I don't meet guys at the club'