SummerLady Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I am divorced. My first marriage was the traditional wedding and of course not the traditional ending, haha! I can laugh about it now. If I get married again I do not want the whole frilly white wedding gown and all my relatives. Not because I did it before but because its now more about me and less about making everyone else happy. I am sure you all can understand that. My question is what have you all done that have been married for a 2nd time. I would love to go to Vegas and just have parents, siblings and close close friends. That's it. Anyone have any good ideas or stories about this? Would love some insight. Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I'm assuming you're not yet engaged... What if your SO has never been married before and he wants a big white wedding? It seems unfair to deprive him of that just because you're been married before. A wedding is supposed to be about both of you, not just about what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SummerLady Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 I'm assuming you're not yet engaged... What if your SO has never been married before and he wants a big white wedding? It seems unfair to deprive him of that just because you're been married before. A wedding is supposed to be about both of you, not just about what you want. No he did the big white wedding before to. Looking to get ideas other than Vegas. anyone?? Link to post Share on other sites
strongertoday Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Well my fiance has never been married before and doesnt want any fuss..... Nothing is planned yet but we are looking at about 20 people (4 will have to travel to attend)and either ** a wedding breakfast at a reception place and get married there ** Hiring a 'bed and breakfast' for the weekend and the travellers and us can stay there the night and get married in the gardens or something and do dinner at a local restaurant We are asking for no gifts, but if everyone could pay for their meal. Friend is making me a small bouquet. Thats the plan at this stage anyway Good luck !! Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Well, neither my fiance nor myself have ever been married before, but neither of us was interested in the 'traditional' wedding. We are getting married on our anniversary in October, which is a warm, clear month where we live. My best friend will be deputized as the officiant, as we are having a secular ceremony and would prefer it to be more personal than just hiring someone. Attending: only my mom and dad, his mom, his daughter (9 years old) and our baby son. We're having a short, simple ceremony on a bridge in the Botanical Gardens, then setting up some picnic blankets in the meadow area. Since we're getting married shortly before Halloween and will be missing that day with his daughter (we'll be out of the country on honeymoon), we're thinking of using this picnicky time to carve a pumpkin with her, while everyone sits around and eats cheesecake and drinks champagne, plays with the baby and takes pictures. Later, we'll all go have dinner at the restaurant where my partner and I had our first date. That's it. Cheap, romantic, easy. Again, so she still gets to have a special Halloween with us this year, my stepdaughter is going to wear a Venetian-style masquerade mask and have faerie wings fastened to her back. She LOVES the wings and mask. We're thinking of joining her with masks or costume touches of our own, though my partner and I definitely wouldn't wear them during the actual ceremony...it wouldn't feel right, symbolically, to wear a mask during the actual wedding. No white gown or veil for me, just jeans, a vintage lace blouse. We're leaving on honeymoon the next day; when we get back, it'll be our son's first birthday, and we're throwing a very casual BBQ birthday party/belated wedding reception at my parents' house then, friends and siblings and in-laws and cousins, etc., will be coming to that. We've asked anyone who's thinking of giving us presents to donate to charity OR to the kids' college funds, if they prefer that. And we're buying baby trees from the nursery at the Botanical Gardens to give our parents to plant in remembrance of the day, as our 'wedding favors'. The only way we were going to be able to have a wedding with less than 80 people was to prune it down that drastically; otherwise it became a tangled web of 'if we ask this person, we HAVE to ask that person,' and both of us just really do NOT want to deal with all that hassle, drama, and expense. This way almost our entire budget is going towards the honeymoon, which is a big plus in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Summerlady, I know you feel very strongly about this man, but all of your threads are about marriage. You have dated about 2 months. Do you think you may be jumping the gun a bit here? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 My second wedding I wanted to avoid the big shindig and just go away. However, it was my H's first wedding and he is very close with his family and felt he wanted to include them. We had a larger wedding than I had thought I would, but it was kept intimate none the less. The really nice thing about weddings the second time around...is that you're a grown up now. You can avoid all the fluff, silly rituals, etc. and go with a more sophisticated style. You are the host, there to provide for your guests. My H squashed my protests about a larger wedding by explaining to me that in the end weddings are NOT about the two people getting married....they are ALL about joining 2 families together, so its important they all be there. He was right. This one stuck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SummerLady Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 My second wedding I wanted to avoid the big shindig and just go away. However, it was my H's first wedding and he is very close with his family and felt he wanted to include them. We had a larger wedding than I had thought I would, but it was kept intimate none the less. The really nice thing about weddings the second time around...is that you're a grown up now. You can avoid all the fluff, silly rituals, etc. and go with a more sophisticated style. You are the host, there to provide for your guests. My H squashed my protests about a larger wedding by explaining to me that in the end weddings are NOT about the two people getting married....they are ALL about joining 2 families together, so its important they all be there. He was right. This one stuck. Good point from your H. He really wants to get married in a church. I am fine with that but again nothing large or over the top. Intimate, special and fun. And small. Link to post Share on other sites
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