VelvetShadows Posted October 28, 2003 Share Posted October 28, 2003 [color=blue] Ok this is rather complicated... I met a guy back in Dec of last year online that i have since fallen for very deeply. He's very young though, i am 12 years older then him. He's 18, and in his last year of high school because he failed 9th grade.. We hit it off really well, both online and on the phone. We're talking about me moving to where he is at before he heads off to the military in August of 2004. We've talked about everything and everything from marriage to kids and getting older together... Problem with him right now is that he has lied to his father about who i am and how old i am and everything. So if i make the move, his father is going to be expecting something totally different then what he was told... I am not too happy with the fact he's lying to his family... Ok now this is where it gets more interesting... About a month ago, the 18 year old hadnt been online for about a week.. We kind had a talk about some feelings he was having with the idea with settling down... I figured he freaked out and cut off contact, and i was heartbroken... So i went online , goofed around and flirted , just anything to get my mind off the fact that i felt like i had been dumped... Well i met someone during this time... and well we've gotten to know each other fairly well... but a week later after i had not heard from the 18 year old, he came back online and told me that his phone got disconnected and that is why he wasnt online... Well i felt super guilty about the fact i had been flirting and stuff not really being patient and waiting to see what happened... Well i am still talking to this other guy though, and well i am finding myself falling in love somewhat with him too.. He's a little older, 22 .. but like the other he was met online... Now i've seen all the warning, heard all the warnings about internet relationships and stuff. But i was willing to take that chance and go meet someone.. but now its been put on hold because i've met someone else too that wants me to come meet him. Financially i cant do both.. And neither can they come visit me because neither of them have a job right now.. Though the 18 year old shows more promise of finding work then the 22 year old. Thing is i've been more honest about my past with the 22 year old then i had with the 18 year old... But the feeligns are far stronger for the 18 year old and the future looks to be more promising with the 18 year old on the fact of the choice of career he is taking and such... He talked only once about the doubts he had with being with the older woman , and not probably having a chance to be with other girls, but since then, according to him i am all that he ever thinks about. Ok well there is a lot more to this. I will say both guys are virgins.. so sexually i dont think i have to worry about much on catching anything but if i am with either of them that way ever... anyway... Thing is i am torn between what to do... I am in Love with both. Each has his advantages and disadvantages... Just looking for suggestions on how to decide Thanks bunches, Velvet[/color] Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Velvet, you need to take a few steps back. Take it from someone who's been down this road; you absolutely need to meet and spend time with a person before you can really be 'in love'. Certainly the Internet is a great way to get acquainted with someone without hormones getting in the way to begin with, but it needs to be part of a relationship as opposed to all of the relationship. Certainly you can fall - hard for the person you know at a distance, but the person you live with is not only the discussions, he's the habits and lifestyle and attitudes and all the other things that go into making a life together and that's where the disconnects can really show up. The question is this: how many people are you going to 'fall in love' with? Will you go online some evening when you're bored and meet yet another guy? You are going to have to find a way to meet them and spend time with them. There are lots of ways to travel on the cheap; you'll need to be creative. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 You cannot have a real relationship based on dishonesty. It sounds like you have been less than honest with both of these guys. And the 18-year-old is lying to his parents because he obviously has something to hide and knows they wouldn't approve. Do you really believe a relationship is possible under such circumstances? I agree with Moimeme. You can't truly fall in love with a person until you actually know them. And that means in person, spending live time together, interacting in real-life scenarios...not just talking online. Why is it that you're not more interested in meeting men your own age? Why do such young guys seem to appeal to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Purrrfection8 Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 That's a good question to ask yourself - why is it you fall for much younger men who don't seem quite ready and available at this time? Judging from what you've said, both males have advantages and disadvantages (no one's perfect I guess) but would it b possible to wait for someone who comes along that has ALL of the advantages you seek and makes you feel that even their flaws make them perfect for you as they are? I also feel you need to step back a little and give yourself some time away to decide what it is your heart truly wants. Go with your instincts on your decision between the two if you feel they are ur only option. Everything happens for a reason and exactly the way it should. Go with what would make you happiest today, keeping in mind what would make you (your higher self, not just your ego's desires) happiest in the long run. All the best, remember it's more important to love and know yourself b4 u can love anotha, don't settle for what doesn't fully grab you and b true to ur higher self. You will make the right decision or no doubt it will be made for you. Love and light, Purrrfection8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VelvetShadows Posted October 29, 2003 Author Share Posted October 29, 2003 Thanks folks Link to post Share on other sites
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