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What does she want?


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JustinWolf

My friend who I've known for around 3 years now just decided to do something awkward the other night. Now the thing is, when we met she was single and I was flirting with her and she was really open to me, telling me things she probly wouldn't tell other people and we joked a lot, spoke on the phone often and she'd tell me I'm not her kind of guy but throughout the years we kept playing along those lines. Well, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now and the other night we went to a bar and she just got really drunk, so me and her we were outside waiting for a ride while her boyfriend was drinking inside. I was trying to hold her so she wouldn't fall asleep or just plain fall. Anyways, I told her that her bf is a great person and that they go well together and she tried to kiss me. I moved her away and that was it. Then a few moments later, we were still waiting but this time she was in front of me and she wrapped my arms around her waist and held my hands really tight. So I told her that it was wrong, that I should just move away a bit. She didn't say anything. Later, we were all waiting and she kept her attention on me and talking to me while her bf was talking to someone else and he was right besides us!

 

We spoke again, she says she doesn't recall anything but she does remember a few things which she let slip. She said she felt bad about it and that she can't let something like this happen because she's scared to lose me as a friend. Also, she said that it took her a long time to be with her man because he used to be her friend too before they started dating.

 

Now, what does she want?

 

[i may have put this in the wrong forum section(sorry) but just to let you know me and her never shared a kiss or did anything sexual]

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JustinWolf

I've been thinking about it and I really do like her a lot. It just that I couldn't let her kiss me, so I stopped her. When she called, I was the one brought the subject up and she said she didn't remember anything but she did recall a few little details. She told me she did remember that she was holding me and telling me "I feel good in your arms" or something to that effect. I told her I felt weird and she didn't seem apologetic or anything. She did say she has a boyfriend and that it would've been wrong. When I asked again "why?" she replied with a "because I'm stupid..."

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Yea I was thinking she may be a bit confused but I'm no better here. I feel weird. Plus, I already asked her why she did it and the only thing I could get out of her was a mere "I'm stupid." and I don't think it may go any further than that. Otherwise, she may feel like I'm pressuring her.

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Well, I haven't even gotten a chance to speak to her. Haven't heard from her since then and I'm stuck here thinking about her... I don't know what to do anymore.

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Sounds like just a drunken incident, but also yes, disrespectful to her boyfriend. For some reason at that time, she was either trying to make him jealous, or she's simply noticing other options. It depends on what kind of road their relationship is on right now, that's info I don't know. But we tend to think and feel things while under the influence, things we wouldn't normally think or feel.

 

But while sober she expressed that this can't happen, and you were right for being distant to her drunken behavior. It should be left at that. But if something similar repeats itself, then maybe ask her to please be honest about her feelings because it isn't fair to her boyfriend or to you to behave in this manner, not more than once anyway, because once can be passed off as a mistake, more than that is getting complicated...

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I doubt she'll leave her bf for you. So I'd drop it, polietly avoid her until you're more like your old self before all this happened. Make it clear that this will not happen again and will not let yourself to be put in that situation again. If she's drunk and needs help go tell her bf "yo, your girl needs some help".

 

Your a good guy by not letting it get further, be a good guy some more, and not let it happen again.

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